Sometimes I feel that my memories are not just old pictures…
but doors that open only when the present touches something similar
That is exactly what happened after the Shinjuku explosion
Something pulled me back—
back to a day I never understood
I was twelve years old
A simple morning… quiet… normal
I woke up to the sound of my father preparing his bag for work
I sat at the kitchen table drinking a cold glass of water
My mother Haruko stood near the door helping him with his coat
She smiled at him and said:
"have a good day"
My father laughed softly and waved at me
I didn't know that moment… would be the last time I ever saw him alive
After he left and the door closed the house became calm again
I took another sip of water—
but my small hand suddenly shook
and the glass slipped
It shattered
I froze
I wasn't afraid of the broken glass…
I was afraid of my mother's reaction
But before she reached me…
something happened that I could never explain
The world stopped
The sounds disappeared
Time… felt frozen for a few seconds
And then a short image opened in front of me-
clearer than anything I had ever seen
---
A fast car…
A man behind the wheel…
A huge truck coming from the other side…
A bright light in my eyes…
And then a woman's voice, echoing strangely:
"have a good day…"
Blood…
Broken glass…
A crash…
---
Then everything disappeared
I was back in the kitchen staring at the broken glass
My mother bent down cleaning it with a small smile
"Don't worry Genso… it's just a cup"
But I didn't answer.
I didn't understand what I saw.
And I said nothing
After a few minutes… I convinced myself it was only my imagination
━
My mother was cooking dinner
The smell of rice filled the house
I sat on the couch watching TV like any child
Then the phone rang
My mother answered it
She held the phone to her ear…
Only a few seconds passed-
but everything changed
Her face lost all its color
Her hand shook
Her eyes widened
The phone slipped from her fingers and fell to the floor.
I ran to her
"Mom!! What happened!?"
She didn't speak
She was crying her voice broken her body shaking
After several painful moments she finally managed to say:
"Your father… is dead"
Something stabbed my chest
I couldn't believe it
"Dead? How!?"
Her voice trembled:
"A car accident… a car… and a truck…"
I fell to the floor with her crying harder than I ever had
I forgot everything.
Forgot the vision…
Forgot the images…
Forgot what I saw that morning.
All that remained was pain
_
Two days passed-
the hardest days my mother and I ever lived
It felt like the world had suddenly cracked open
The sky was gray
The rain was light
I stood among the people but I heard nothing
I saw nothing
Only the same loop in my mind:
The truck…
The car…
The light…
The blood…
And my mother's voice:
"have a good day…"
Exactly the same as my vision—
hours before the accident
But I told myself:
"It's just a coincidence… forget it"
______
But after the Shinjuku explosion…
the voice…
the vision…
the train off its track…
Everything came back at once
I stood at the clinic window watching the black smoke rise
a heavy feeling pressing on my chest
The words escaped my mouth without thinking:
"None of this is a coincidence… What is happening to me?"
A deep silence filled my mind… heavy… suffocating
---
The clinic started to evacuate quickly.
Nurses were shouting people were running
Dr. Hayashi handed me my file and said:
"We'll finish your tests later. Leave the area immediately"
I left with Riko
I didn't say a single word
We reached the bus stop, then the street near my home…
all while the explosion and the images replayed in my head
---
When I opened the door to my house my mother was standing in front of the TV
her hand over her chest fear on her face
"Genso! Where were you? I heard about the explosion… are you okay!?"
I only nodded and sat on the couch
I couldn't speak
My mind was too full to breathe
She raised the TV volume
The news reporter said:
"Breaking news about the Shinjuku explosion…
Early investigations show there was external interference that changed the train's route before the crash"
I lifted my head slowly
A cold shiver ran through my body
External interference?
Someone changed the train's path?
Then the vision hit me again like a slap:
A black coat
A black bag
A hand moving in the shadows
The train
Shinjuku
I squeezed my eyes shut
I couldn't ignore anything anymore.
Was the man I saw…
the one who caused the train to change its route?
Did I… see what he did before it happened?
Does this… mean that i can see into the future?
I opened my eyes and looked at the TV…
then at the smoke rising far away from the window…
And I finally understood:
This wasn't a coincidence.
And it could never be
"If I had spoken that day… would my father still be alive?"
I felt the whole sky sitting on my shoulders.
"Did people die… because I did nothing?"
__end of chapter three