The next day Ludo made his way over to the nearest branch of his bank. With his savings barely being enough to cover just the hardware cost alone, he naturally had to find a quick solution for this.
And the quickest one he could think of without doing anything illegal.
And besides, he had to set up a business bank account for his newly created company anyway, so he could kill two birds with one stone while he was there.
He just hadn't expected that the moment he walked into the branch, he was greeted by a long line that snaked all the way to the entrance, with each person's expression looking grimmer the further they were from the front.
Not to mention the bank's air conditioning just had to be undergoing maintenance that day, so not only was everyone annoyed at the long wait, but they were hot and sweaty to match it…
Ludo took his place in line and immediately regretted his choice of not bringing any water.
And his choice of clothes didn't make things any easier for him, wearing just a simple white T-shirt and grey sweatpants, which quickly stuck to him as the sweats began.
After forty minutes had passed, he'd only made it half way…
'Crap, I should have just thought of another method of getting money, but it's too late to back out now!'
At that moment, Ludo would rather take a beating from a professional boxer than give up his space in the line and look elsewhere.
Thankfully, another hour passed, and he was finally next in line.
The only staff member on the floor was a receptionist perched behind a polished wooden desk and bulletproof glass with just a few speaking holes, wearing perfect makeup, perfect nails, and complete disregard for any customer that interacted with her.
Her gaze flicked upwards when she realised the next customer had approached her, and her eyes quickly darted from his clearly old sweatpants, and T-shirt covered in sweat patches, and a slight trace of disgust flashed past before she suppressed it.
"Can I help you, sir?"
She asked, in a tone that indicated she very much hoped the answer was 'no'.
"I'd like to speak to someone about setting up a business account, as well as taking a business loan."
Ludo said in as polite a voice as he could muster in this heat.
He swore he could see the woman's fake smile tighten as he said that.
"A business account?"
She repeated, as if not hearing him speak the first time.
"Yes."
"For… your business?"
She put emphasis on the 'your' for some unexplained reason.
"What else could I possibly need a business account for?" Ludo said.
"Do you have an appointment?" She ignored his obvious sarcastic question.
"No, but—"
"Then you'll need to wait over there." She gestured vaguely to the seating area, full of already impatient customers, before handing him a slip of paper with a number on it.
It read '67'.
Ludo couldn't be bothered to count, but he was sure that there were probably still people waiting with numbers still in the 40's…
"Someone will call you. Eventually."
Ludo wanted to give her a piece of his mind so much but had to hold back for his own sake. He could only wonder what kind of nepotism that woman used to get her job, as there was no way any self-respecting career woman would act so unprofessional to a customer in such a blatant manner.
Oh well, back to waiting he went.
Another hour and fifteen minutes crawled by, before 'eventually' came and his number was called.
He approached the teller, a middle-aged overweight man with a button-up shirt looking ready to explode.
"How can I help you today?" the teller asked in a monotone Metro City accent.
"I'd like to set up a business account, and take a business loan too."
The teller gave him a side eye, carefully considering.
The business account part was easy and only took a few minutes to set up; Ludo could have done it online and skipped this dreadful process if he didn't already have plans to visit the branch for a loan.
"Purpose of the loan?" The teller asked after setting up the account and telling Ludo how to access it online.
"I'm establishing a business in the technology sector and need starting funds."
"Do you have documentation?"
"Yes." Ludo said, before producing his sweat-infused backpack and pulling out the folder he'd assembled the previous night after taking copious amounts of caffeine.
Business plan? Check.
Projected financials (complete and utter fiction)? Check.
Company registration? … Mostly check.
Proof of identity? Check.
Proof he existed as a human being? Check.
Several other forms he didn't even need? Check.
The teller fumbled through each document one by one, with his sausage fingers moving sluggishly, revealing to Ludo why the wait was so long.
"This company registration…" the teller began slowly speaking, with narrowed eyes.
"It says the application is pending."
"It's been submitted," Ludo said quickly. "The confirmation's in your hands."
"But it's pending."
"Yes, but registered in the system, I can show you—"
"But pending."
Ludo resisted the urge to slam his head against the nearby wall.
"It'll go through in one or two days." He smiled through clenched teeth.
The teller stared at him for several long seconds, as if waiting to see if Ludo would spontaneously combust or something.
"Do you have proof of intent to operate legally?"
"I literally just handed you a pile of documents proving exactly that."
"Hmmm."
'Goddammit, I should have gone with another bank!'
Ludo already regretted his choice to go to the branch nearest to his house out of laziness, but he didn't want this day to go to waste.
The teller flipped through another page.
And another.
And another…
"Do you…"
The questions continued for another 10 minutes straight, with all of his answers starting with 'Y' and ending with 'es'.
"Collateral?"
The teller finally moved on from the seemingly endless questions to do with his legitimacy.
"My personal assets." It pained Ludo to say this.
If somehow his product failed, that was bye-bye to his house, though at least, the expensive computer he would buy with the loan could be sold to cover a large portion of the cost.
"What about shares in the company?" the teller asked. It was a standard question he asked all who looked to take a business loan.
"No shares." Ludo answered instantly.
The teller raised an eyebrow.
"Even a small percentage of equity would significantly reduce your interest rate."
"Not negotiable." Ludo stood firm.
"Are you sure? Just five percent—"
"No shares."
"Ten percent—"
"No shares."
"You understand that declining this offer will push you into a much higher interest bracket?"
"I understand."
"Very well." The teller sighed dramatically, as if he actually did any hard work in that span of time.
"Given the lack of established business history, the pending status of your registration, and the absence of any pre-existing equity, the interest rate will be…"
He typed for a moment on his computer.
"…quite high."
"How high?" Ludo asked, bracing himself.
"High." The teller unhelpfully responded.
"But loan approved. I hope you know what you're doing, sir."