Si-Yoon was trying to ignore the pile of notifications blinking in his vision. He was also trying to ignore the headache that didn't technically exist because he had no brain.
The door to the study opened. It didn't creak like when Boney entered. It didn't slam like when Mortem entered. It glided open silently.
A figure stepped into the room. She moved with a grace that made the air feel heavy. She wore a pristine black dress with crimson lace at the collar. Her skin was pale enough to reflect the moonlight. Her eyes were red.
It was Lady Lyra. The Vampire Countess. The Administrator of the Dark Domain.
She had been in the archives for the last three days. She was the only person in the entire castle who knew how to read the ancient tax codes without eating the paper.
"Lord Kallian," Lyra said. Her voice was cool and smooth like polished marble. "We need to talk about the carpet."
Si-Yoon straightened up in his chair. He instinctively checked his posture. Mortem was a physical threat, but Lyra was an administrative threat. She was terrifying.
"The carpet?" Si-Yoon asked. "Is it not... evil enough?"
"It is covered in grease," Lyra stated, walking to the desk. She placed a heavy leather ledger down with a solid thud. "I walked through the Grand Hallway. I saw the traps. I saw the logs. I saw the zombies bouncing off the walls."
"It is training," Si-Yoon defended himself. "It is the Dojo of Infinite Pain."
"It is a liability," Lyra countered. "Do you know how hard it is to get oil stains out of ancient tapestries? Boney has been scrubbing for three hours. If we are to be a terrifying legion of darkness, we cannot look like we live in a mechanic's garage."
She opened the ledger. Her red fingernail tapped a column of numbers.
"Furthermore. The budget. Baron Kryll spent four hundred gold coins on springs. Springs! Where did he even get the gold?"
"I... authorized it," Si-Yoon admitted. "We needed security."
Lyra sighed. It was a long, suffering sigh that exposed her sharp fangs.
"My Lord. I understand the need for defense. But we are currently generating zero income. The local peasantry has fled. The trade routes are blocked by your fog. If we do not find a revenue stream soon, we will not be able to afford the premium blood bags for the night shift."
Si-Yoon looked at the ledger. It was a sea of red ink.
This was the reality of being an Evil Lord that the novel never mentioned. The logistics. The payroll. The maintenance costs.
"I have a plan," Si-Yoon said, trying to sound confident. "We are not just defending anymore. We are expanding."
He pushed the crumpled map of 'Happy Sunshine Village' toward her.
Lyra picked it up. She studied the cute drawing of the sun. Her eyes narrowed.
"Disgusting," she hissed. "It radiates positive energy. It hurts my eyes."
"It is a gold mine," Si-Yoon corrected. "That village is full of adventurers. Adventurers have gold. They buy potions. They buy swords. They pay for inns."
"And they want to kill us," Lyra pointed out.
"Currently, yes," Si-Yoon nodded. "Because we are merely obstacles. We are mobs. But what if we were... content?"
He opened the System Store interface and projected it into the air so she could see. He highlighted the [Dungeon Architect] option.
"I am going to hire a professional," Si-Yoon explained. "We are going to build a proper dungeon. Not just a hallway with logs. A labyrinth. A challenge. If we build it, they will come. And if they come, they will die. And when they die, we take their wallets."
Lyra looked at the glowing purple text. She looked back at the ledger. She did the math in her head.
"Loot," Lyra whispered. "Salvage rights. Entry fees?"
"Implicitly," Si-Yoon grinned. "It is the economy of death."
Lyra closed the ledger. A small, predatory smile appeared on her lips. It was the smile of a accountant who just found a tax loophole.
"Very well," she said. "I approve. But if we are hiring an Architect, I will negotiate the contract. I do not trust the System's standard rates. They always overcharge for labor."
"You can negotiate with the System?" Si-Yoon asked, surprised.
"I can negotiate with anything that has a throat," Lyra said sweetly. "Or a Terms of Service agreement."
She picked up a quill.
"Summon him, My Lord. I shall prepare the paperwork."
Si-Yoon felt a wave of relief. This was why he needed her. Mortem was the muscle. Kryll was the mad science. But Lyra was the brain that kept the operation from collapsing under its own stupidity.
"System," Si-Yoon commanded mentally. "Purchase unit: Dungeon Architect."
[Transaction Complete.]
[-200 SPP]
[Summoning...]
The air in the center of the room began to warp. Space twisted and folded in on itself. A portal opened. It wasn't a dark, scary portal like the one that brought the undead. It was a geometric portal. It looked like a blueprint coming to life.
A man stepped out.
He was not undead. He was not a demon.
He was a Kobold.
He stood about four feet tall. He had lizard-like scales that were a dull gray color. He wore a utility belt that was bigger than his waist, filled with hammers, chisels, and strange measuring devices. He wore a pair of thick goggles over his yellow eyes.
He looked around the room. He looked at the obsidian walls. He looked at the peeling paint. He looked at the grease stain on the carpet that Lyra was angry about.
He made a noise of pure disgust.
"Tch," the Kobold clicked his tongue. "Load bearing walls are uneven. Lighting is derivative. And the feng shui is absolute garbage. Who designed this? A drunk Ogre?"
He looked at Si-Yoon.
"You the client?" the Kobold barked. "I'm Grix. I build holes. You pay me. We don't hug."
Si-Yoon blinked. "Grix. Welcome to the Black Keep. I am Lord Kallian."
"Yeah, yeah," Grix waved a claw dismissively. "Spooky name. Very impressive. Look, buddy, I'm on a schedule. I got three labyrinths to finish in the Netherworld by Tuesday. What do you want? Traps? Puzzles? A bottomless pit that screams?"
Lyra stepped forward. She loomed over the small lizard.
"We want efficiency," Lyra said coldly. "And we want it under budget. If you go over the estimate, I will take the difference out of your hide."
Grix adjusted his goggles. He looked up at the vampire. He didn't look scared. He looked impressed.
"Ooh," Grix grinned, revealing sharp teeth. "A lady who knows numbers. I like her. She's mean. Okay. Let's look at the canvas."
Grix pulled a massive roll of paper out of his tiny belt. He kicked it across the floor. It unrolled to reveal a blueprint of the Black Keep's basement.
"Your basement is empty," Grix critiqued. "Just a lot of damp stone and spiders. Wasted real estate. You have zero verticality. You have no flow."
He pulled out a charcoal stick and started drawing furiously on the paper.
"Here's the pitch," Grix talked fast. "We dig down. Three floors. Floor one: The Maze of Confusion. Simple. annoying. Weeds out the casuals. Floor two: The Hall of Mirrors. Psychological horror. Cheap to build, high trauma yield. Floor three: The Boss Room."
He circled the bottom area.
"We put the big loot here. But to get to it, they gotta pass the 'Meat Grinder'."
"Meat Grinder?" Si-Yoon asked.
"Rotating blades," Grix explained casually. "Wall spikes. Acid pits. The works. It's a classic for a reason."
"Can we afford acid?" Lyra asked, checking the ledger.
"We use diluted lime juice and green food coloring," Grix winked. "Adventurers can't tell the difference until it stings. Saves fifty percent."
Lyra nodded approvingly. "Hired."
Si-Yoon watched the two of them. They were already discussing the cost of stone per cubic foot.
"Excellent," Si-Yoon said. "Grix, you have free rein of the lower levels. Lyra will supervise the expenses. I want the first floor operational before the next wave arrives."
"Give me two days," Grix said, already measuring the doorway with a tape measure. "And get me some coffee. Dark. Like your soul. Or whatever."
The Kobold scurried out of the room, muttering about 'structural integrity' and 'load-bearing gargoyles'.
Lyra tucked the ledger under her arm.
"I will ensure he does not steal the silverware," Lyra said. "Is there anything else, My Lord?"
"No," Si-Yoon said. "You have done well, Lyra."
She bowed. It was elegant and precise.
"Of course," she said. "Someone has to run this asylum."
She turned and glided out of the room, closing the door silently behind her.
Si-Yoon sat back in his chair. He let out a breath he didn't need.
He had a General. He had a Mad Scientist. He had a Vampire Secretary. And now, he had a Contractor.
He looked at the map of Happy Sunshine Village one last time.
"Enjoy your tutorial," Si-Yoon whispered to the imaginary hero. "Because the next level is under construction."