The Black Keep sounded like the inside of a giant stomach that was digesting rocks.
BAM. CRASH. GRIND.
Si-Yoon stood in the main foyer. Dust fell from the ceiling in a steady rhythmic snow. The vibrations were shaking his bones.
It had been twenty-four hours since Grix started working. The Kobold did not sleep. He did not eat. He only consumed coffee and shouted insults at the zombie laborers.
"My Lord," Mortem shouted over the noise of a jackhammer. "Is the castle going to fall down?"
"Grix says it is 'settling'," Si-Yoon shouted back. "He says the structural integrity is improved by removing the support beams."
"That sounds incorrect!" Mortem yelled.
"He is the professional!"
A loud explosion rocked the floor. A cloud of black smoke billowed up from the stairs leading to the basement.
Si-Yoon sighed. He walked toward the stairs.
"Let us see the progress."
The basement used to be a damp, empty storage area for old wine barrels and rat skeletons. Now it was a construction zone.
Torches flickered along the walls. The air was thick with the smell of sawdust and ozone.
In the center of the room, Baron Kryll and Grix were having a screaming match. They looked like a mad scientist and an angry contractor fighting over a Lego set.
"It needs more mana density!" Kryll shrieked, waving a glowing purple crystal. "If the intruder steps here, I want them to be disintegrated! Poof! Gone!"
"No disintegration!" Grix barked back, slamming his hammer on a table. "You destroy the loot! If the adventurer turns to ash, their wallet turns to ash. We want the wallet, you explode-happy amateur!"
"Amateur?!" Kryll's eyes bulged. "I am a scholar of the Forbidden Arts!"
"You're a safety hazard," Grix spat. "And move that crystal. It's messing with my feng shui."
Si-Yoon stepped into the light.
"Report," he commanded.
The two stopped arguing immediately. Kryll bowed low. Grix just tipped his goggles.
"My Lord," Kryll pointed at the Kobold accusationally. "This lizard refuses to install the Runes of Instant Death."
"Because they are expensive," Grix countered. "And bad for business. Look, Boss. I finished the layout for Floor One."
Grix gestured to the open space behind him.
It was a maze. But it wasn't just walls. The stone looked shifting and uneven. The shadows seemed to move on their own.
"I call it the 'Left-Turn Labyrinth'," Grix explained proudly. "The human brain likes to turn right. So I made every right turn lead to a dead end. Or a pit."
"Simple," Si-Yoon noted.
"Effective," Grix corrected. "But the real genius is the doors."
He walked over to a sturdy wooden door set into the wall. It looked heavy. It had iron bands.
"Try to open it," Grix challenged.
Si-Yoon grabbed the handle. He pulled. It was locked.
"Locked," Si-Yoon said.
"Exactly. An adventurer sees a locked door, they think 'treasure'. They will pick the lock. They will waste ten minutes. They will use a lockpick."
"And then?"
"And then they open it," Grix grinned. "And behind it is a brick wall. And a sign that says 'LOL'."
Si-Yoon stared at the door.
"It is petty," Si-Yoon said.
"It burns their time," Grix nodded. "It frustrates them. Frustrated players make mistakes. They rush. And when they rush..."
Grix pointed to the floor in front of the door.
"They step on the pressure plate."
CLICK.
A panel in the ceiling opened. A bucket tipped over.
SPLAT.
A glob of green slime fell onto the floor.
"Acid?" Si-Yoon asked.
"Slime mold," Grix corrected. "It smells like rotten eggs and stains armor permanently. It deals 1 HP of damage but 100 points of emotional damage. Repair costs will be ruined."
Si-Yoon looked at the trap. It was cruel. It was annoying. It was perfect for his budget.
"Lady Lyra will be pleased," Si-Yoon said. "It is cheap."
"Speaking of the vampire lady," Grix grumbled, adjusting his tool belt. "She cut my budget for monsters. I asked for Minotaurs. She gave me rats."
"Giant rats?" Mortem asked hopefully.
"Normal rats," Grix sighed. "But I taped knives to their tails."
Si-Yoon massaged his temples.
"Show me the rats."
Grix whistled.
From the shadows, a swarm of twenty rats scurried out. They did indeed have small, rusty shivs duct-taped to their tails. They looked confused and dangerous.
"They are... spirited," Si-Yoon admitted.
"They are the 'Ankle Biter Squadron'," Grix said. "Low XP value. High annoyance factor. They are fast. Hard to hit. They swarm the healer."
It was a strategy of pure irritation. Si-Yoon realized that Grix wasn't building a dungeon to kill heroes. He was building a dungeon to make them rage-quit.
"Approved," Si-Yoon said. "When can we open?"
"The paint is dry," Grix said. "The rats are hungry. We can open the doors in an hour."
"Wait," Kryll interjected. "We cannot open yet! We have not tested the spawn rates!"
"We need a beta tester," Si-Yoon agreed. "Someone to run the maze."
He looked at Mortem.
"Too big," Si-Yoon decided. "He would smash the walls."
He looked at Kryll.
"Too volatile. He would blow up the walls."
He looked at the rats.
"Too small."
Just then, a small, clinking sound came from the entrance. Boney, the skeletal maid, walked in carrying a tray of black coffee.
"Refreshments for the workers," Boney chirped.
Si-Yoon looked at Boney. She was small. She was fragile. She had zero combat stats. She was the perfect representation of a Level 1 Novice.
"Boney," Si-Yoon said gently.
"Yes, Master?"
"Put down the coffee. I have a special mission for you."
Ten minutes later, Boney stood at the entrance of the maze. She was holding a wooden sword. She was trembling.
"You want me to... go to the other side?" Boney asked.
"Just find the exit," Si-Yoon encouraged. "If you see a rat, run. If you see a door, do not trust it."
"Good luck!" Grix yelled. "Watch out for the glue trap on tile four!"
Boney took a deep breath, or the skeletal equivalent of one, and stepped into the darkness.
Si-Yoon, Grix, Kryll, and Mortem went to the Observation Room. It was a small closet Grix had wired with magical crystals that acted as security cameras.
On the crystal screen, they watched Boney.
She walked down the first corridor. She came to a fork. Left or right.
"She's going right," Grix predicted. "Rookie mistake."
Boney turned right. She walked five steps.
SNAP.
A tripwire.
A net fell from the ceiling, scooping Boney up into the air. She dangled there, her bones rattling.
"Trap functional," Grix noted, checking a box on his clipboard. "Deployment speed is good."
Boney wiggled. She managed to slip a rib out of the net and fell to the floor. She reassembled herself and kept walking. She looked angry now.
She found the False Door.
"She's going for the loot," Kryll giggled.
Boney tried the handle. Locked. She kicked it. The door didn't budge. She turned around to leave.
CLICK.
The slime bucket tipped.
SPLAT.
Boney was covered in green goo.
"Oh no," Boney's voice came through the crystal audio. "My apron! Master will be so cross!"
She wiped the slime off her face. Then she saw the rats.
The Ankle Biter Squadron surged forward. Their taped knives glinted in the torchlight.
Boney shrieked. She didn't fight. She didn't use the sword. She simply panicked.
She started running in circles. The rats chased her. It looked like a Benny Hill sketch.
"The AI pathing is working," Grix nodded. "The rats are aggressively targeting the shins."
Finally, Boney spotted a vent near the floor. She dove into it, sliding out of the maze and landing back in the construction room.
She stood up, covered in dust, slime, and rat fur.
"I quit!" Boney yelled. "That was awful! It was confusing and sticky and mean!"
Si-Yoon looked at his creation.
It was awful. It was confusing. It was mean.
"It is perfect," Si-Yoon declared.
[System Notification]
[Dungeon Level 1 Completed: "The Basement of Mild Inconvenience"]
[Dungeon Rating: F (But with potential)]
[Your Status has been updated.]
[Old Title: Raid Boss]
[New Title: Dungeon Master (Novice)]
Si-Yoon felt a shift in the air. The connection to the castle felt deeper. He could feel where every rat was. He could sense the tension in the tripwires.
"Open the gates," Si-Yoon ordered. "Remove the 'Closed for Renovation' sign."
"What shall we replace it with?" Mortem asked.
Si-Yoon thought for a moment.
"Put up a new sign," Si-Yoon said. "'Grand Opening. Free Entry. Easy Loot.'"
"That is a lie," Lyra said, appearing from the shadows of the doorway. She was holding the ledger.
"It is marketing," Si-Yoon corrected. "Now, we wait for the customers."
As if on cue, the Gargoyle scout, Camera One, flew into the room. He landed on Grix's head.
"Boss!" Camera One squawked. "Movement on the road!"
"The Milk Squad?" Si-Yoon asked.
"No," Camera One said. "A wagon. A merchant wagon. It has a broken wheel just outside our fog."
Si-Yoon looked at Lyra. Lyra looked at Si-Yoon.
A merchant meant supplies. A merchant meant gold. A merchant meant someone they could trade with instead of kill.
"Is he armed?" Mortem asked, reaching for his sword.
"No," Camera One said. "He is fat. And he is yelling at a donkey."
"Excellent," Si-Yoon adjusted his cloak. "Let us go offer him some... roadside assistance."
"Shall I bring the rats?" Grix asked.
"No," Si-Yoon smiled. "Bring the wallet."