Where's my harem?! I'm asking you! Huh?!
Bro finally gets isekai'd into the Naruto world, and instead of dating local ninja girls, I'm supposed to date you, a skin-suit isekai'd person?
If I had that kind of taste, why wouldn't I just go date cosplayers?
...Wait. Cosplayers… might actually work?
Cough cough!
Naruto tried to steady his chaotic thoughts, opened his mouth—then didn't know what to say.
"We'll talk later," Sakura cut him off, gesturing for Sasuke to introduce himself.
Kakashi scratched his eyebrow, looking even more baffled at the two of them.
He'd expected passionate declarations from Naruto, or a blushing schoolgirl confession from Sakura.
Instead, what he got felt like two jōnin-level slackers talking shop in the body of fresh graduates.
How is this anything like what the Hokage described?
Did I miss a patch update?
In this weird atmosphere, all four finished their intros. Even Sasuke's revenge monologue landed with a dull thud.
Kakashi was quietly suffering.
Not only were Naruto and Sakura stone-calm the whole time, but when he announced tomorrow's outdoor survival exercise, warning them it had a high elimination rate and menacingly telling them not to eat breakfast or they'd puke—
Naruto rubbed his nose and read his lines like a drama club kid: "Whoa, that sounds terrifying. I totally can't imagine what'll happen tomorrow!"
Sakura tucked her hair back and "helped": "This is the test of love! I'm sooo nervous!" Then she very deliberately peeked at Sasuke.
Only Sasuke looked genuinely tense, fists clenched so tight his knuckles went pale.
Kakashi scratched his brow again.
Yeah… something's off.
Soon Team Seven dismissed.
Naruto and Sakura found a quiet spot. Sakura paused, then said calmly:
"Sasuke is probably still a native. I watched the other main characters too—no signs of being possessed so far."
"What we can confirm is that the two of us are sitting in the male-lead and female-lead slots."
Naruto blinked. "You think things through pretty carefully."
"Mm. Now we need to figure out the rules of this transmigration. If this is a group isekai, the plot will be completely derailed, and we might die for no reason."
"No way…" Naruto tensed. "I'm a jinchūriki. Even without Six Paths hacks early on, the Nine-Tails should keep me alive. And protecting you shouldn't be hard either, right?"
Sakura shook her head. "Not that simple. It's like Elden Ring co-op—solo mode, you can mess around all day. Multiplayer? Every corner has some sneaky bastard. And we're the protagonists."
Naruto frowned deeply.
Not because she was wrong, but because of her example.
Elden Ring?
Have you ever seen a breathing, wild, hardcore-single-player-game girl gamer?
In twenty-something years, Naruto's past life had only seen that kind of thing online, like "Purple Rain no-hit Sekiro boss" clips.
"Uh… be honest with me," Naruto stared at Sakura suspiciously. "Your sex isn't male biologically but female psychologically, right?"
Because she said she's from Sichuan-Chongqing.
That place doesn't just produce beautiful girls—people say it also produces a special species called 0…
"What, you doubt my gender?" Sakura arched a brow. "Girls can't play Elden Ring?"
"Of course not. By the way, do you play Black Myth: Wukong?"
"Yeah. I even bought the collector's edition… But is this really the time?"
"Ahem, right." Naruto forced his thoughts back on track, though an image of a bearded burly dude still floated in his head.
Well… hard to say.
But someone who buys the collector's edition probably isn't a bad person?
Naruto: "So what's your plan now?"
Sakura: "I'll focus on mastering super strength and learning some defensive jutsu. You hurry up and negotiate with Kurama. Time to collect some rent."
"So basically we speedrun progress."
"Yeah. We need to race against time."
"But also try to follow the canon events as much as possible? That way we keep first-hand intel."
"Mm."
Sakura nodded again. "That's enough for now. Don't stay with me too long. You're a jinchūriki—Third Hokage might have people watching you."
"Careful as hell." Naruto clicked his tongue. "Oh, and if I start developing some… friendly 'consolation' relationships with other female ninja later, you won't mind, right?"
Sakura deadpanned. "Is that all you guys think about when you isekai?"
"Tch, don't be such a statue. I can help you date Sasuke, Sai, Kakashi too."
Sakura shot him a lethal glare. "Scumbag!"
Naruto spread his hands helplessly. "Sis, don't tell me you've got some purity fetish?"
Sakura said coldly, "I don't think it matters. Instead of fantasizing, think about how we survive here."
She turned to leave.
"Hey, wait!"
"What?"
"How are we doing the exercise tomorrow? I borrow a little Nine-Tails chakra and mess with Kakashi?"
"Do we need to?" Sakura turned back. "Just show up early, trip a trap, run the script once, move Kakashi with teamwork, and roll credits."
"Smart!" Naruto grinned and thumbs-upped. "But I kinda want to mess with Kakashi. I never got into a real fight in my past life."
Sakura thought a moment. "Fight if you want. We still end on the script."
"Deal."
That evening.
After instant noodles, Naruto sat cross-legged on his bed and sank his mind inward.
In a haze, he felt his body sinking. The space around him turned damp, filled with dripping water and frigid wind.
Naruto opened his eyes, walked forward with curiosity.
Soon he reached a towering gate. Heavy breathing pressed toward him, thick with a fishy stench.
Naruto looked ahead and said coolly, "Stop pretending to sleep. Let's talk."
"ROAR—!"
A violent roar surged up. Two crimson eyes opened wide and slid closer.
"Brat… why disturb my slumber?"
The Nine-Tails' deep voice reverberated through the narrow space, shaking everything.
Naruto: "Tomorrow I'll come again. Lend me some chakra."
The fox's huge eyes narrowed. "Why should I listen to you?"
"Because only I can break your seal." Naruto chuckled softly. "It's a trade. You give me chakra, I give you freedom."
"Brat. You think your lies are clever?"
"First, don't call me brat. My name is Uzumaki Naruto. Burn that into your damn head."
"Second, believe it or don't. I lose nothing either way."
Naruto turned and left without another word, snapping back to reality.
Maybe because of the transmigration, Naruto could feel his control over his soul was far stronger than canon Naruto's.
Behind the gate, the Nine-Tails mulled over Naruto's words in silence.
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