the twins are ten months now and they've figured out pockets
and waistbands
and anything that looks like a good hiding spot
this morning is the "silver moon empire annual medal ceremony"
global live stream
red carpet
military band
the whole circus
regulus is in the fancy gold robe that weighs a ton
crown on
looking like a walking statue of sex and power
he can't find the imperial seal
the jade square thing that's literally the symbol of "i'm the real king"
he's patting his pockets freaking out
"where the hell is the seal"
i'm on the couch with luna chewing my hair "ask your kids"
he runs to the nursery
silence
then the scream
i waddle in
four kids sitting in a circle looking innocent as hell
aiden whistling
aurora hiding something behind her back
damon and luna giggling like tiny drunk hyenas
regulus "WHERE IS IT"
they all point at his crotch
he looks down
there's a perfect square bulge in his boxers
the seal is literally in his underwear
pressed right against the family jewels
he turns purple
"how"
aurora "we hide!!"
aiden "daddy no find!!"
damon claps
luna drools
regulus has no time to change
ceremony starts in ten minutes
he has to go out there with the seal in his pants
he walks like he's hiding a brick in his underwear
global live stream is already on
billions watching
he steps on the stage
sits on the throne
the seal shifts
he winces
first alpha comes up for his medal
regulus has to stamp the document with the seal
he reaches under the robe
into his pants
on live tv
in front of the entire planet
fishing the seal out of his boxers
chat explodes
"HE'S DIGGING HIS PANTS"
"THE SEAL WAS IN HIS BOXERS???"
he finally yanks it out
seal is warm
and damp
he stamps the document with shaking hand
the alpha kneeling in front of him looks traumatized
next alpha
same thing
regulus has to fish the seal out of his underwear again
this time it slips
falls
lands square on the alpha's foot
alpha "OW MY FOOT"
regulus "sorry sorry"
leans to pick it up
robe opens
strawberry boxers on full display again
chat dies
"STRAWBERRY KING IS BACK"
"the seal lives in his pants now"
"i can't breathe"
regulus face is tomato red
he finishes the ceremony with the seal back in his boxers because the kids keep yelling "hide again!!"
he ends the speech with the bulge still there
"long live the empire"
drops mic
walks off stage like a cowboy
comes back to the bedroom collapses face-down
"i'm never wearing pants again"
kids run in and jump on his back
"DADDY PANTS FUN!!"
i'm crying laughing
he's mumbling into the pillow "my dignity is in the seal and the seal is in my boxers"
i pat his butt (the seal is still there)
"you're the hottest idiot alive"
he flips over seal falls out
kids grab it and run
he chases them in his boxers
global chat is still going
the video is trending forever
he's now "Boxer Seal King"
he doesn't even fight it
just sighs and lets the kids win
i love this man
Author's Note:
cat is eating my hair again, luna is chewing my sock, damon is screaming for no reason, i think i have pee on my pants now, this is my life and i'm not mad, muah chaos warriors
lands square on the alpha's foot
alpha "OW MY FOOT"falls
regulus "sorry sorry"
leans to pick it up
robe opens
strawberry boxers on full display again
chat dies
"STRAWBERRY KING IS BACK"
"the seal lives in his pants now"
"i can't breathe"
regulus face is tomato red
he finishes the ceremony with the seal back in his boxers because the kids keep yelling "hide again!!"
he ends the speech with the bulge still there
"long live the empire"
drops mic
walks off stage like a cowboy
comes back to the bedroom collapses face-down
"i'm never wearing pants again"
kids run in and jump on his back
"DADDY PANTS FUN!!"
i'm crying laughing
he's mumbling into the pillow "my dignity is in the seal and the seal is in my boxers"
i pat his butt (the seal is still there)
"you're the hottest idiot alive"
he flips over seal falls out
kids grab it and run
he chases them in his boxers
global chat is still going
the video is trending forever
he's now "Boxer Seal King"
he doesn't even fight it
just sighs and lets the kids win
i love this man
Author's Note:
cat is eating my hair again, luna is chewing my sock, damon is screaming for no reason, i think i have pee on my pants now, this is my life and i'm not mad, muah chaos warriors