When I rushed back into the classroom, most of the seats were already filled. There were less than ten minutes left before the first afternoon class.
The class leader and her loyal sidekick—the glasses-wearing teacher's pet—weren't here yet. They'd probably gone to help the chemistry teacher with something.A tiny blessing in a disaster of biblical scale.
Xiao Qin sat at her desk, frozen like she'd been hit with a petrification spell.
And she was blushing so hard she looked ready to detonate.
"Teacher's Colorful Classroom" lay spread open on her desk… already flipped to page ten.
Crap.
I quietly crept toward her from behind, but the usually hyper-alert Xiao Qin didn't react at all.
Completely dumbstruck, huh?
She stared at the H-manga in her hands, unmoving, not turning the page for a long time.
Her bangs trembled, her lips parted, and her eyes weren't focused on the desk anymore—they were staring into the infinite void of the universe, far beyond this mortal plane.
I knew that expression well. They say American kids make that exact face when they first hear that Santa Claus isn't real.
It seemed I was too late to save Xiao Qin's world view.
I stepped forward, my shadow falling over the pages, but Xiao Qin didn't react.
I slowly took "Colorful Classroom" out of her hands.
Still no reaction.
I shoved the cursed book deep into my schoolbag. At this point it looked like Xiao Qin had crashed—like her entire operating system had frozen.
What kind of angelic human-shaped computer are you? Does your motherboard fry and your CPU shut down the instant you see anything remotely indecent? I thought you'd already been corrupted by all the weird stuff you've done and wouldn't care about a little mental pollution! Turns out you only read shoujo manga?! Your knowledge is half-baked! Don't act like a pro if your experience is only sparkly romance comics!
And don't underestimate H-manga! That world is terrifying! Too much shoujo manga turns you into a lovestruck idiot; too much H-manga turns you into a sorcerer! (And only if you're over 30!)
Besides, H-manga artists draw human proportions way more accurately than shoujo manga artists. At least they respect biology. Shoujo manga faces look like porcelain aliens! Honestly, H-manga is more realistic!
Shoujo manga just lies to readers—pretty boy meets pretty girl, they press their tiny, unrealistic faces together, whisper sweet nothings, censor everything, and then bam, next page: they have kids. Zero explanation. Zero logic.
Refund our money, you irresponsible shoujo manga creators! Your stories always stop halfway! Keep drawing! Or what—are H-manga actually the sequels to shoujo manga?
Ah! And I accidentally let Xiao Qin read the sequel! And not just any sequel—the worst imaginable sequel! Worse than the Black Cat detective going to jail for corruption, worse than Snow White's kids never growing up, worse than the Haier Brothers flying to the Netherlands to get married!
The class bell rang, but Xiao Qin still sat completely still. She didn't even stand when the class rep told everyone to rise.
Thankfully, she sat in the back row and the chemistry teacher's eyesight was terrible.
She didn't take out her chemistry book. She didn't blink. She sat there like a statue for twenty minutes.
I kept glancing at her. This felt like the calm before a massive explosion.
Finally, she took a deep breath, like waking from a coma.
"H–Haruya… I'm sorry…"
She apologized. To me.
"I shouldn't have taken the manga from your desk…"
"Oh, no, it's nothing serious," I said, trying to keep my voice normal.
"And… about the day before yesterday… when I put my hand in your pants pocket… I should apologize for that too."
"Eh? Didn't you already apologize?"
"I did… but back then I didn't know it was such bad behavior… Even though Haruya didn't say anything, you must've thought I was… a dirty girl…"
She covered her burning face, looking like she wanted to dig a hole and bury herself forever.
Dirty? I never thought that. Your Little Tyrant personality was burned into my mind long ago. Even touching me just felt like bullying.
"When I first saw that Haruya had a manga in his desk… I was actually happy…"
"…"
"Because I spent the past three years at home reading manga… I thought Haruya liked manga like me! I thought… we'd have something to talk about… But… but… but why was it so different from the manga I've read!?"
You don't say! How could shoujo manga be the same as H-manga? Shoujo manga damages your brain; H-manga destroys your worldview!
"Shoujo manga said men are all… perverted…" Xiao Qin rambled, sounding like some internet troll auntie ranting in a forum.
"I thought what you guys wanted was just hugs and kisses… and then looking at our naked bodies…"
The order's wrong, but close enough.
"In a Mitsuru Adachi manga, the boy steals the heroine's underwear. I thought it was hilarious because the plot was so ridiculous…"
"Turns out it wasn't ridiculous!!"
Her voice suddenly sped up.
"There are really men who do that! Like the pervert who groped me before… men really think about stuff like that!"
I couldn't argue. As a man, I felt personally attacked.
"I thought even if other guys were like that… the Haruya I like… would never be like that…"
"It seems… I was too naive…"
She fell silent for ten minutes.
The chemistry teacher was doing a chlorine experiment, choking himself and the entire front row.
Then Xiao Qin suddenly straightened her posture like she'd made up her mind.
"I'm sorry. I was wrong."
"What?"
"I dared to like Haruya… without even understanding him. That was my mistake."
You don't need to fully "understand" someone to like them. If anything, the one who needs to understand something is me—because one day you might actually kill me!
"Even if Haruya is a pervert…"
Hey hey hey! Don't lump me in with weirdos just because Cao Jingshen calls me 'Master'! He's the one who's a hopeless case! I'm not even close to his level!
"I will love Haruya… including his perverted side!"
Stop! I told you I'm not a pervert!
"After reading that strange book… I learned Haruya's true nature…"
True nature my ass! You can't read H-manga like it's my autobiography!
"Haruya has those kinds of tastes… He bullies me in class, but that must be to test how to properly train someone…"
Don't start using terminology the moment you learn it! That word is censored on half the internet! And who's 'probing' you!? I'm just trying to make you hate me!
"In shoujo manga, girls change themselves to match their boyfriend's hobbies. If Haruya likes this kind of thing… then I'll just have to change for you…"
She talked to herself endlessly, wearing an expression so pitiful it might've melted metal.
"As long as Haruya likes me… I don't care what I become…"
Then she lifted her right hand, pinched the zipper of her PE jacket—
"Even though my chest isn't as big as the girl in the manga…"
She furrowed her brows, bit her lip, and yanked her zipper down.
"If you don't mind… please put your hand inside!!"
She squeezed her eyes shut as tears trembled on her lashes. Her hand shook so badly she couldn't even pull the zipper past her collarbone.
But because her eyes were closed, she had no idea she hadn't actually exposed anything.
A single tear slipped down, hitting the desk—like the death certificate of shoujo manga logic—while she steeled herself to abandon all shame to win my affection, guided by the worst H-manga imaginable.
Are you stupid!? Aren't you supposed to be a martial arts master? How can you not even unzip a jacket!?
Wait—no! I don't actually want you to unzip anything! Who wants to see your airport-runway chest!?
Though… her collarbone was really nice.
Right below her slender neck, the two delicate clavicles framed the top of her chest, connecting outward to smooth shoulders. Because her jacket was slightly too big, her shoulders peeked through faintly.
The triangular hollow between the collarbone and shoulder—the clavicle groove, the so-called "beauty ditch"—looked surprisingly elegant on her.
I hated admitting it, but it was… pretty.
I would've taken a swig of water to calm myself, but my bottle was empty.
Xiao Qin trembled, waiting for me to do something.
And I had absolutely no idea what to do.