Later on, in a back alley behind Qingzi Academy, I found Pockmark Face — dressed in that brown Qingzi Academy uniform — getting absolutely wrecked by three real street thugs.
These guys weren't like the wannabes I'd seen before. They weren't holding back at all. Pockmark Face had already been kicked into a pile of garbage, one eye swollen shut like a beaten panda.
And me? I was carrying five pounds of potatoes and two leeks. I really, truly didn't want to put my groceries down just to help this idiot.
But the way he was screaming… at first he sounded like a pig being slaughtered, then gradually the noise died down until it was almost nothing.
At this rate, the kid really was going to die.
So, reluctantly, I stepped in front of the three thugs and shouted:
"Cut it out! You trying to kill someone just because the law gives minors extra protection!?"
The three looked stunned. It was dark, we could barely see each other, and two of them immediately rolled up their sleeves and started toward me.
I smacked my lips. Great. Now I had to put my potatoes and leeks on the filthy ground. The plastic bag didn't stop it from feeling disgusting.
But then the guy who seemed to be the leader suddenly stopped his two buddies.
"Hold up. We should show respect to Boss Haruya."
He bowed his head to me and dragged the other two away.
Boss Haruya? Since when? Just a few months ago, the graduating seniors were still calling me "Little Haru." When did I get promoted? Where was the glowing aura? Where was the RPG system notification? Where were my subordinates?
Anyway, after the thugs were long gone, I went to check if Pockmark Face was dead. Before I reached him, he staggered up on his own, hunched over and trembling.
"B-Boss… Boss Haruya…"
"Don't call me that," I said. "Also, you're awfully good at playing dead, huh?"
He gave an awkward grin — though with his face swollen like a pig's head, his smile looked worse than crying.
"If I didn't fake it, I really would've died… If you don't like being called boss, I'll call you Big Brother Haruya."
He coughed twice and spat out half an incisor. Yeah, he was beaten pretty badly.
"Big Brother Haruya, you're a generous man. I was blind to cause trouble outside your school!"
So he had figured out who I was.
Two days later, once he'd recovered a bit, he insisted on treating me to a thank-you meal.
Conveniently, my dad wasn't home that evening, and I didn't want another instant-noodle dinner alone, so I agreed.
Pockmark Face brought all five of them — the same five idiots I'd trashed last time — along with two drivers and two cars, wanting to treat me at HaoTing Hotel downtown.
No thanks. That place gouges you for 800 yuan like it's pocket change. I vetoed it immediately and dragged them to a regular street-side skewer shop.
They complained it was too low-class, but I asked, "Are you trying to make yourselves happy, or make me happy?"
And that shut them up real quick.
Driving two BMWs to eat cheap skewers on the street made the shop owner and the Uyghur-looking grill assistant stare at us like we were aliens.
Right, I don't know much about cars, but BMW logos are obvious. The "BMW" letters help me remember — I've always read it as "Bi Ma Wen," like that monkey soldier from Journey to the West.
Still, even a BMW was nothing compared to the car Amy rode in. The difference was like a firecracker compared to a rocket headed for the moon.
While stuffing roasted garlic in my mouth, I listened to Pockmark Face gush about his admiration for me.
Turns out his surname was Xing, and his full name was Xing Xing. Because of all the pockmarks, his nickname was "Baby's Breath." (Since "baby's breath" literally means "starry sky," and his name literally means "Star Star.")
Honestly, with a name like Xing Xing, shouldn't your nickname be "Horizontal Stripe" or something?
According to him, all five of their parents owned businesses. They'd been dumped into Qingzi Academy's dorms and basically left to rot. Qingzi attracted all sorts, and the five of them were constantly extorted by real street punks.
Eventually, Xing Xing decided to start his own "gang."
He became the boss purely because he was the oldest, and the second-in-command was also surnamed Xing. So they came up with the brilliant name:
"The Five Tigers Punishment Squad."
I nearly choked on a grilled kidney. Really? "Five Tigers"? With their fighting skills? And "punishment squad"? That was the department that handled cases in ancient China! You imitate criminals but choose a name meant for law enforcement? It's practically begging for misfortune.
But somehow, after calling themselves that and walking around together, people started bullying them less. To look more like actual delinquents, they began imitating hooligans and tried robbing students… which was how they ended up getting smashed by me.
As for why Xing Xing was beaten up in that alley last week, he didn't even know. Apparently he just "looked at someone wrong."
Seriously, people these days get worse and worse. In some of the domestic comics on shelves, the protagonist kills your whole family if you so much as glare at him.
Anyway, Xing Xing said they'd learned their lesson and wouldn't rob anyone anymore.
Good. They weren't cut out for it. XiCheng District is full of dangerous people — if they messed with someone serious again, they might not walk away next time.
Still, they planned to keep wandering around as a group so no one would get bullied alone. And they were determined to keep the "Five Tigers Punishment Squad" name for prestige.
"Big Brother Haruya, our fighting skills may be trash, but we're loyal!" Xing Xing patted his chest.
"Yeah! We won't fight recklessly anymore, but if you're ever in trouble, call us — we'll rush out immediately!"
The other four nodded vigorously.
"Our boss's savior is our savior!"
I thought:If I ever need five useless idiots to back me up, I might as well quit society altogether.
Not that I'm "in society" anyway, but other street punks really do call me Boss Haruya. I can't let myself lose face by bringing these clowns to a fight.
Anyway, I hadn't seen them in a while — until today, when they reappeared outside my school gate.
"Hey! What are you idiots doing here? Didn't I tell you not to show up at 28th Middle and scare students anymore?"
They flinched as I glared.
"Big Brother Haruya, we haven't done that stuff in ages!" Xing Xing looked genuinely offended.
The other four chimed in:
"We were just passing by and wanted to see how you were doing. Lucky we ran into you!"
"Yeah! We even saw Eunuch Cao here at noon — and we didn't rob that fat sheep!"
That part was believable. Cao Jingshen really did take this road.
"Well, I'm fine. If you've got nothing else, get going."
That was a lie. I'd been annoyed for days. It must've shown on my face.
Xing Xing stepped forward and lowered his voice.
"Big Brother Haruya, you don't look right. Last time you weren't like this."
Probably because back then I hadn't met that deceptive demoness Ren Xiaoqin yet.
"Big Brother Haruya, if something's bothering you, you have to tell us! Otherwise you're not treating us like brothers!"
"Yeah! Even if you don't admit it, we Five Tigers are your little brothers!"
Xing Xing waved for the others to quiet down, then leaned in conspiratorially:
"We saw Eunuch Cao at noon. He said you haven't been yourself lately because of a girl?"
I frowned. Damn that loudmouth Cao Jingshen. Why would he talk to these fools? And knowing him, he definitely exaggerated everything.
Xing Xing continued in a loyal tone:
"I heard there's a girl named Ren Xiaoqin you can't handle?"
I said nothing. Because yes — I really can't handle Ren Xiaoqin. In every possible way.
Taking my silence as confirmation, Xing Xing nodded.
"I knew it! With your strength, if something bothers you, it must be something other than fighting! If you liked Ren Xiaoqin, that girl should be thanking her ancestors! How dare she give you trouble? I'm mad on your behalf!"
"You're misunderstanding," I warned him. "This is nothing like what you're thinking."
"How could we ignore it!" Xing Xing looked genuinely distressed. "Big Brother Haruya, your problem is that you treat her too well!"
"What?"
I wanted to hear what nonsense he'd say next.
"You can't treat women too well!"
The other four nodded like wise old sages.
"Yeah! Big Brother Haruya's too soft with girls — you can't pick up women like that!"
"Women are all the same. The nicer you treat them, the higher they act. Eventually, they think they're queens!"
"That's right! If Big Brother Haruya used even one-tenth of his fighting power, that Ren girl would already let you do whatever you want!"
Yeah… I didn't need to do anything like that. If I really wanted to, Xiao Qin would've folded ages ago.
Not that I had any such intentions. I'm not touching that beautiful snake — the venom alone could kill me.
Xing Xing waved for silence again and leaned in:
"Big Brother Haruya, you're a hero. Some things aren't suitable for heroes to do. So… want us to help?"
"…Help? How?"
"Oh, it's simple. We'll block Ren Xiaoqin on her way home and scare her a little. That'll make her listen to you."
He said it in the tone of a hired thug speaking to a government official.
These idiots were begging to die.