ALASTOR
I'd been biking ever since I figured I could do it, not as a hobby or as a thing of joy but as a coping mechanism. Something to ensure I was still alive. Something to make sure I was still living. It was never an activity I enjoyed. That was all there was to biking until he came along and left.
Kaida was all pumped up and ready for the night. Another night without him. Torturous hell.
I checked my horoscope for that day. It had become a habit for me to do that before any races because he believed in those things. I couldn't care less about it.
"Do not go out today. You will meet the one thing that will destroy you." I read to myself.
I checked a different site, and the horoscope was different.
"Embrace today, you will meet the one you value more than your life."
I stared at the words in complete confusion. So, one said not to go outside, and the other said going out was exactly what I needed today.
I rolled my eyes, pocketed my phone, and strapped my helmet properly.
"Safety before the thrill, Alastor." He would always say before we went out.
My life wasn't important before he came, and it became even worthless after he left.
The ride began slowly, with me enjoying the outside night view. I was told to embrace the day after all.
Ryan passed me and waved a hello. I recognized him because he was the only one in our area with a fiery red bike. Orion, he called her. Said it somehow paired with his name. Ryan and Orion, Oryan.
I chuckled to myself at the memory.
Kaida was given to me by him. He also named Kaida. Kaida meant dragon in Japanese. He had a weird love for dragons. That was the reason he became a biker, as a matter of fact.
I soon increased my speed, and remembering him every day and night was torture to my soul. I embraced it. It was another way to know I was still existing, albeit without him.
Silence by Marshmellow and Khalid blasted in my ears, drowning any other noise.
I stepped on the accelerator and made Kaida go even faster. That was illegal, but I'd been doing illegal things for a long time, and nothing had ever happened.
I was wrong.
The black Mercedes was also speeding.
It happened before I could blink.
I hit the car with force and fell off my bike, Kaida was nowhere near me. I hit the asphalt ground with a thud. My skull would have been cracked open if my helmet had been anything below its quality.
I sucked in a sharp, painful breath. The pain was more real than anything I'd ever felt, it felt more real than the breeze that blew my hair into my eyes whenever I rode, it felt more real than all the tears I'd ever shed. It was at the point of death that the pain felt real. Ironic.
I had broken a lot of bones, that was sure. There was no way I could survive. I took in another sharp breath, and the pain came again. I coughed up blood in my helmet. My own blood fell on my face. That was disgusting.
"Don't go outside today. You will meet the one thing that will destroy you." I remembered the horoscope. Maybe it was right. I shouldn't have come out today.
They say that at the point of death, your life flashes before your eyes. My life didn't flash before my eyes, but I saw those green eyes. The same eyes I'd been keeping in my mind for seven years even after I confirmed his death, even after I watched his body burn. Those same green eyes.
"Embrace today, you will meet the one you value more than your life." I remembered the second horoscope. Maybe they were right. If I died, I would meet him again, and we would be together forever.
I smiled in absolute joy for the first time in a long while, it didn't matter that I was choking on my own blood or that the glass that entered my skin was pricking me, or that each breath I managed to take hurt like hell.
None of that mattered because they were all the factors necessary for my meeting with him again.
My pain...
My death...
I would see him again.
No one would mourn my death, that was sure, but it didn't bother me. I would gain everything I needed. I would get back what was taken away from me.
My smile widened till I didn't know what was going on anymore. My smile was there till I died.
****
I was walking in a dark space, pitch dark, the darkness could almost be felt. I walked around in circles.
Nothing. No sound, no smell, no light, he wasn't there. Complete nothingness.
I was so stupid!
I was stupid to have thought I would get to see him again. People like me didn't get that luxury of happiness. We didn't deserve it.
The tears flowed down my cheeks before I could even realize I was crying. I would never see him.
He was in heaven, where a beautiful soul like his belonged.
I had been cast into the depths of hell. The place I deserved. It was the only place I was wanted in.
The tears fell with no control. I made no sound, but my pain and grief were thick.
'Why?' I thought to myself. Why couldn't I see him again, even if just once.
"Alastor.." I heard my name.
It was a faint whisper, I would have almost missed it if the voice didn't sound eerily familiar.
"Alastor..." I heard it again.
It was his voice. He was calling to me.
"Alastor, you need to find me. You need to open your eyes."
It was his voice. He was calling me from heaven. He was trying to save me!
"Come to me, Alastor." He said again.
A tiny ray of light suddenly penetrated the darkness I was in. That little light was all I needed to find him.
I followed his voice and the light.
The light was so blinding that I had to close my eyes immediately. Antiseptic filled the air, and there was soft and scattered noise everywhere.
I opened my eyes slowly this time around, and I saw it. Those green eyes.