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….
The flight to New York wasn't memorable. The atmosphere on board was tense, conversation was non-existent, and there were no windows to stare out of, in short, deadly boring.
I had to entertain myself with psychoanalysis and attempts to figure out if I had finally gone completely insane by voluntarily letting them take me to the strongest telepath on the planet.
The conclusion was that I hadn't gone insane; I just didn't always consciously process my brain's conclusions and predictions.
Existence determines consciousness, sure, but my consciousness hadn't been in Loki's body long enough to fully adapt.
Meanwhile, the God of Mischief was far from a fool with a single brain cell, even by Asgardian standards.
Compared to a human brain… well, he simply thought faster and could distribute his attention across dozens of tasks simultaneously without losing efficiency.
I, having inherited the skills, hadn't quite gotten used to them yet and hadn't managed to transfer that baggage of intellectual abilities into the "conscious" column.
As a result, the world seemed to become simpler and clearer all at once.
Answers were ready before I consciously posed the questions, and I could act without thinking, relying purely on the sensation of what the right action would be.
My conscious mind simply couldn't keep up with the information processing, so the reasoning process leading to the final conclusions slipped past my perception, though it remained in my memory.
It's a hell of a feeling, actually…
But back to the topic of Xavier.
First, my mind was protected by magic. While this defense could theoretically be breached, doing so unnoticed, and fast enough that I wouldn't snap the telepath's neck, was physically unrealistic.
Second, say what you will, but Xavier is one of the most ethical and highly moral characters in the Marvel universe, in any of its iterations.
If he were just a human whose principles allowed for immoral acts for the "greater good," he would have enslaved the world ages ago, turning every government into his obedient puppets.
There would be no war between humans and mutants. In other words, he isn't the type to gut a guest's brain without a truly compelling reason.
Sure, there are no guarantees in this business, but hey, dealing with Xavier is definitely safer than dealing with any other power player of his level.
Finally, the third point, which was apparently the deciding factor that pushed me to make contact with Logan and Rogue: the X-Men were a good start.
I mean, they have resources. Resources I can use to start looking for a way out of this universe.
If I hadn't risked contacting Wolverine, I would have been stuck trying to get out of Canada for weeks, not really knowing where to go.
My time is limited.
Even if there's no Chitauri invasion led by Loki here, I'd like to believe that since the X-Men exist, this isn't the Avengers universe and Thanos with the Infinity Stones isn't here.
But that was the snag, Thanos did exist here, and Loki had heard of him, just as the Stones existed. Which meant we were screwed.
And that brings up another point: I don't feel like a hero. At all. Especially not after digesting the memories of the God of Mischief.
After all, a Hero is someone who has something to protect and is willing to lay down their life for it.
In what way can I be a hero in this universe?
What am I supposed to protect?
Asgard, which is completely alien to me?
Earth, which shares nothing with my own except Elon Musk and McDonald's?
Honestly, I never would have thought it, but that media fake, I mean, Elon Musk, exists here too.
Go figure, he leaked through the multiverse, as the memories of the locals informed me. But still, what is there to talk about if there is absolutely nothing native to me in this entire universe?
Yes, my roof is clearly leaking, and my actions reek of inadequacy, whether it's joyfully rushing into fights, thoughts about women, the urge to troll everyone (being more of a Loki than Loki himself), or the complete indifference to killing.
That's bad. I admit it. But I can't do anything about it yet, I suspect my subconscious is dealing with the stress of the transfer this way.
However, even in this state of inadequacy, I do not want to, and will not, risk my life for the laurels of another Marvel movie hero.
Being a hero in the MCU is dangerous, they get killed.
And even if they manage to pull through and overcome everything, that doesn't mean they didn't screw up and make things worse.
So, no. Bail. Just bail.
Even if I'm now a psychopath for life, I am a psychopath who knows for a fact that there is more than one universe and that travel between them is possible.
Therefore, all I need is to find a method of transportation.
Unfortunately, I don't remember any ready-made solutions specifically within the Cinematic Universe, but in the Marvel Universe as a global concept, they exist.
Magical ones, ones based on superpowers like mutant abilities, and even purely scientific ones.
Xavier can help me tremendously with that search, at least in the beginning. Plus, it'll be much easier to figure out the realities of this world at his school than wandering through the Canadian woods on my own.
And speaking of my psychopathy… there is something to it.
Maybe it's echoes of Loki's habits, but I get a serious kick out of dropping another pearl of wisdom that makes everyone around me feel awkward.
Not that I was a tongue-tied introvert with social phobia in my past life, but even when I made a good joke in good company, it still felt… different.
Here… I feel like a God.
Literally.
The sensation of magic, of space, the breath of the world, the physical strength allowing me to tear through steel… I like it. I definitely like it. And that includes how I can behave while doing it. It's a high. A real high.
Having spent the entire flight in reflections of varying degrees of confusion and adequacy, I wasn't tired at all.
….
If you want to read ahead by 20+ chapters from here you can visit my Patre-on.
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