"Then what do you think I should do?" After a long, uncomfortable silence stretched between them, Howard finally asked for advice, his voice tinged with desperation.
"First, you need to completely change your attire and hairstyle," Raj suggested, choosing his words carefully.
Howard had a peculiar fashion sense—he favored tight leggings paired with form-fitting turtlenecks, all topped off with a Beatles-era mop-top hairstyle that looked like it hadn't been updated since the band's heyday.
This kind of dress may have been fashionable and cutting-edge in the 1960s, but it was really too outdated and anachronistic now, nearly half a century later. The leggings were especially problematic—in the eyes of most Americans, particularly women, they were considered quite unmanly and even effeminate on a grown man.
"You are already twenty-five years old this year, a quarter of a century old, and you are definitely an adult by any measure, so you should dress up more maturely and age-appropriately. And please, for the love of God, don't go to the children's clothing department to choose your clothes anymore," Raj explained, trying to soften the blow of his honesty.
The truth was that Howard was still buying his clothes in the children's clothing department at department stores. Although he bought the largest sizes available there, it still couldn't change the fundamental fact that they were designed for children, not adult men.
"But my mother bought these clothes for me," Howard resisted a little, his voice taking on a defensive tone.
"Brother, you still have to move out of your mother's house," Raj said firmly. Hearing Howard's response, he immediately pressed forward with his suggestion. "You are already an adult, a full-grown man, and if you continue living with your mother, people—especially women—will look down upon you. They'll see you as a mama's boy."
"Also, think about it carefully," Raj continued, painting a vivid scenario. "If you had a good chat with a woman at the birthday party, and when you plan to get to know each other better on a deeper level, you take her back to your home and she meets your mother for the first time, how likely do you honestly think she will stay? What are the odds she doesn't run for the hills?"
Howard's mother was severely obese, her massive form lying in the bathtub like a beached manatee whenever she bathed. When she took the bus on the rare occasions she left the house, the other passengers instinctively walked around her, giving her a wide berth.
Coupled with her loud, broken, screeching voice that could shatter glass, her level of horror broke through the sky and into the stratosphere. Raj would honestly rather watch the gruesome horror movie "House of 1000 Corpses" on repeat than help get her out of the bathtub ever again.
"Hey, you're talking about my mother," Howard said, suddenly getting a little concerned and defensive, his loyalty to his family kicking in. "But... you're right," he admitted after a pause, his shoulders slumping in defeat.
His mother was fierce, controlling, and vicious in her demands, and almost everyone who met her hated her or at least strongly disliked her. She was so difficult that she even refused to hire a nanny to serve her, driving away anyone who tried. How could he realistically expect those beautiful, normal girls to accept her presence in their lives?
"But what do you think I can do? What options do I have?" Howard said helplessly, spreading his hands in a gesture of futility. "My father ran away from home years ago, abandoning us both, and my mother is the only family I have left. If I leave her too, if I abandon her as well, she will be completely alone and very sad. She'll be devastated." At the end of his explanation, his voice cracked and he was choked up with emotion.
"I know you are in a difficult situation, Howard. I understand the bind you're in," Raj said sympathetically, handing him a tissue from the box on the table. "But I have three suggestions that might help you navigate this."
"Three?!" Howard exclaimed, wiping his tears with the tissue while looking at Raj in genuine surprise, his eyes widening.
In his opinion, based on years of wrestling with this problem, this matter was a complete dead end with no solution.
He was reluctant and emotionally unable to leave his mother alone, yet he was also desperate for romantic love and companionship. His mother would inevitably scare any potential girlfriend away with her appearance and behavior, and no girl in her right mind would accept his mother as part of the package.
So, he was caught in the middle of an impossible situation, stuck in a dilemma with no apparent way out. But he didn't expect that Raj, his friend who always seemed to have answers, had actually found three different ways to crack this seemingly unsolvable problem.
"The first option is to make up your mind to move out and get your own place," Raj said immediately, ticking off the possibilities on his fingers. "The second is to wait patiently and hope for the best. If a blind cat can stumble upon a dead mouse, then perhaps you'll eventually meet a girl who is willing to accept your mother as part of the package."
Howard's face fell at these words. ".." He immediately flattened his mouth in disappointment, his expression showing his dissatisfaction. Both suggestions were far too unconstructive and offered no real solutions to his predicament.
"The third option," Raj continued, leaning forward with a more serious expression, "is that you find a way to make some real money. As long as you have sufficient financial resources, your mother will not be able to hinder your romantic prospects."
Raj's reasoning was sound. As long as Howard had enough money, he could hire a professional caregiver or even multiple maids to attend to his mother's needs at a high price. If one batch didn't work out well, he could simply replace them with another. There must be a brave soul willing to take on the challenge under the promise of generous compensation.
Furthermore, as long as he had enough money, Howard could much more easily attract romantic partners. Just look at Hugh Hefner, the legendary founder of "Playboy" magazine. Even at an advanced age, with a face lined with wrinkles, he still had countless beauties surrounding him, all thanks to his wealth and status.
"Raj, you know I'm just an engineer. What kind of serious money can I possibly make?" Howard spread his hands in a gesture of helplessness, his voice tinged with resignation.
His official position was as an engineer on loan from NASA to the California Institute of Technology, and he earned only a fixed salary, nothing close to a huge income. Even the scooter he rode around on now had been purchased with a loan, a constant reminder of his limited financial means.
"Actually, I have an immature idea that might work," Raj said, a knowing smile playing across his face.
"What idea?" Howard asked immediately, his interest piqued now that Raj seemed to have a genuine suggestion. He leaned in closer, eager to hear more.
"Have you heard of superfluid vacuum theory?" Raj asked, his smile widening slightly as he prepared to explain his concept.
Superfluid vacuum theory was a fascinating hypothesis that assumed space-time itself was a certain form of superfluid. A superfluid is a peculiar state of matter that is completely devoid of viscosity, possessing zero resistance to flow. Precisely because of this complete absence of friction, it can flow endlessly without losing any energy whatsoever.
"Of course I have. Don't forget, I hold a master's degree from the Massachusetts Institute of Technology," Howard nodded immediately, a hint of pride creeping into his voice.
Although he didn't possess the title of a doctor like some of his colleagues, in terms of practical knowledge and engineering expertise, he was certainly not weaker than Leonard or Rajesh. He had proven himself time and again in his field.
"Here's my thinking," Raj began, his enthusiasm growing as he outlined his plan. "If we can successfully simulate a superfluid vortex in a controlled laboratory environment, then we can create a stable quantum vortex. At that point, we could build a sophisticated guidance system and use this vortex as an incredibly precise gyroscope.
Because it would exist in quantum form, it could theoretically last indefinitely without degradation. We could apply for a patent for the technology, and we would definitely make a fortune by then, possibly even millions." Raj's eyes gleamed with excitement as he explained the potential of his idea.
After hearing this, Howard couldn't help but feel a surge of excitement coursing through him. But then reality set in, and he shook his head again, his expression turning skeptical. "Your idea is good, I'll give you that, but superfluid vacuum theory, like string theory, is just an unproven theory. Its physical models are not perfect—they're incomplete at best. How can we possibly simulate something that doesn't have a solid theoretical foundation?"
Raj's idea, in his opinion, was somewhat unrealistic, bordering on fantasy. It was like proposing to use zombies as workers in a factory. Sure, they would be tireless, never needing to rest, eat, or receive payment. They could work twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week, making them the dream employees for any factory owner. But after all, it was nothing more than a kind of fantasy, something that could never be realized in the real world.
"The physical model of the superfluid vacuum theory is not perfect because everyone has overlooked a crucial element—they haven't properly considered its surface tension," Raj said with a slight, knowing smile.
Howard's eyes lit up immediately when he heard this, his mind already racing with possibilities. "If the three-dimensional space is imagined as the surface of a superfluid bubble existing in an N-dimensional space, and the spherical multidimensional superfluid has the same negative energy density as space-time..." He began to murmur to himself, working through the implications, his voice growing more animated. "It's actually interesting. This could work."
"Exactly! We can perfect this theory, develop the mathematical framework, and then we can simulate it properly. And then, my friend, we will make a fortune," Raj said with an enthusiastic laugh.
"Yeah!" Howard exclaimed excitedly, practically jumping out of his seat. "This is incredible! This good news must be told to Sheldon and Leonard right away."
"You idiot!" Raj scolded immediately upon hearing this, his tone sharp and urgent.
"What?!" Howard was completely stunned by the sudden scolding, confusion written all over his face.
"Think about it for a second. You know exactly how much Sheldon likes to show off and take credit," Raj said, leaning forward with intensity. "If he gets involved in this matter, he will definitely find a way to take all the credit for himself. He always does. At that time, you and I will end up with nothing—not even a footnote."
Raj's expression was stern as he continued. Although Sheldon didn't pay much attention to money—he could lend thousands of dollars to Penny without a second thought, or generously give up patent fees to Howard—he was a person who attached tremendous importance to honor and recognition. And he never, ever shared credit with his partners.
Leonard, Howard and Rajesh had accompanied him to the North Pole for three grueling months. He thought he had made groundbreaking achievements in the field of string theory. He was absolutely certain he would win the Nobel Prize for it. But did he mention any of you three in his acceptance speech draft? No. He said he would only mention you in the footnotes of his future biography. Footnotes!
And when Howard, Leonard, and Sheldon collaborated to develop that guidance system. Sheldon proclaimed himself the sole person in charge of the project. And after the military came in and took away all the scientific research results, he went behind Howard and Leonard's backs and cooperated with them privately to develop a communication system based on that same guidance system, completely abandoning both Leonard and Howard without a word of explanation.
Raj's voice was firm and resolute. "Therefore, in my view, Sheldon is completely untrustworthy when it comes to matters of credit and recognition. We absolutely cannot let him know about this, let alone cooperate with him on it. This has to stay between us."
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