Tick tock....tick..tock...tick...tick.. tick..tick....
-zzZzzzzzzZzzzZzzZzzzZzzz--
[Hey, wake up]....
-zzzZzzzzzzZzzzzZzzzZzzzZz-
[Hey, wake up]...
-zzzzzZzzzzzzzzZzzzzzzZz-
[* -_-*]. [SMACK]...
-zzzzzZzzzZz-[0_0]-- ahhhhh owww. Itaiiiiiiiiii! Dammit! I said five more minutes. What the hell is wrong with you?
ROB: [Ahem. Human, what do you mean by five more minutes? You've been sleeping here for about five years now!]
ARCH: [Five years?]
ROB: [Exactly 1,826 days, 43,824 hours, 2,629,440 minutes.]
ARCH: hayssst -_- Oh Dear ROB, also known as Random OP BUDDHA... I mean BEING. Can I just stay here and accompany you forever? I promise I will not disturb you nor make any noise. Just consider me as if I don't exist at all.....(with pleading eyes)
ROB: [Human, how many times do I have to tell you that your soul doesn't belong here, and you know that I can read your mind like an open book, right?]
ARCH: Dammit. I knew it this grandpa can read my mind... Should I remove my brain?? Wait... wait, then how am I supposed to think... Is that even possible.... Wait a minute, how can this grandpa even read my mind if I don't have a body? This ROB is SUS. Definitely Sus..hmmmm
ROB: Ahemm. Human, now is the time. Choose your wishes, or I'll erase you.(dundundun).
ARCH: H-H-How can you say those words? Am I really not important to you? Those five years we've been through, those hardships and challenges we faced together.... Please grandfather.. please don't abandon me. haaaaaaah huhuhuhh..(swiping the fake tears)..
ROB: -_- (irritated) What a bull crap.... Okay then, I'll erase you now. Bye...bye, my grandson.
ARCH: waiitttttt a minnnuuteeeeeeeeee..... Ok, ok, ok, you got me ... hayssstt. Tch.-_-.
ROB: Alright, now state your wishes!
ARCH: Wishes? What are the wishes again .....(rubbing his head) What was it? Hmmmm... [Hey wannabe author, what's on the script again?]
AUTHOR: What in the name of Deadpool was that?.. Hey, did you just break the fourth wall?
ARCH: Where did I put it.. hmmm.. Ahah... here it is. (Takes out the script out of nowhere) Ok.. ok... I get... so that's it.."nods"..(he's reading the script btw).
AUTHOR: Ok.. take 2 🎬 /
ARCH: ughhhh Ahhh I remember now!
ROB: [I'm all ears.]
ARCH: I wish... I wish .. I wish for unlimited wishes!!!!!.
ROB: SMACKKKK!!!!!!!! That's it, Human!..... kaaaameeeeeehaaaaameeeeeee...
ARCH: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOoo.
ROB: Okay, enough with your jokes. Like before: 10 wishes.
ARCH: Tch.... Fucckkkkkkkkkkkkk... First wish.... here goes nothing. I wish you to erase my existence in my past world ... everything.... even the oxygen I had inhaled... everything ...
AUTHOR: A Spider-Man reference.
ROB: Too cruel for oneself, I see...(snap his fingers).. Wish granted...
ARCH: Wow, that's it? A snap and it's done ... Then you must be the guy who invented that fruit snap trick in TikTok....
ROB: 0_0 Really n****?
ARCH: O-ok.. For my second wish, I want to become the son of Edward Newgate and continue his legacy. For that, give me the GURA GURA NO MI and his weapon... one of the twelve supreme grade weapons: MURAKUMOGiRi.
ROB: Human, are you dumb? That's basically 3 wishes already..
ARCH: ⁰-⁰ OH sht.. then I'm wasting my precious wishes ..... (Tsk.. this idiot author! If I wanted to, I'd just wish for a destructive power that even the Dragon Ball Z world will fear me! But this author is so fing dumb, he wants me to follow his script! Tskkk..)
AUTHOR: Hey,. if I give you that sht, then this story will end in only one chapter. Just f**ing stick to it ../
ARCH: agghhhhh....I feel dizzy 😵 ... Why don't you just give me his template then....ohh, now I'm thinking... Sheesh..
ROB: hayssst ... Wish granted (too tired to argue and explain the consequences)
ARCH: Now we're talking .... For my 3rd wish, I wish.. For what should I wish? Hm...(Hey author, why can I only get power from One Piece? Ngl, I really want to have some Sharingan and Rinnegan... those stuff are so 😎 cool..)
AUTHOR: Should I know? Why don't you ask the director?
ARCH: WHAT, WE HAVE A DIRECTOR!!
DIRECTOR: HAHA don't worry, boys. It's because I love Boa Ha--- I mean I love One Piece. I'm a big fan.
ARCH: (ngl she's hot )
AUTHOR: AGREE
ROB: I THIRD THAT!
ARCH: ⁰-⁰
AUTHOR: /⁰-⁰/
DIRECTOR: ⁰-⁰
ROB: Ahemm.... What I mean is, what is your third wish...
ARCH: A-anyway, my third wish should be a powerful devil fruit... What about logia.... Hmmmm. I want to look cool. Wait a minute, what about Kaido's devil fruit? That's it, that fing dragon! Hahahahahaha! Grandpa, I have decided. Give me the devil fruit of Kaido! Mueahahaha..agh..agh! Fk! (Got choked)..
ROB: His devil fruit?
ARCH: Yup, yup, yup.. Every template needs to be upgraded. I don't want to waste my time. And hey, I got Pop's template; one is enough. Don't be greedy..
ROB: (Greedy, are you serious? Then why pick his devil fruit?)... (snaps his fingers) Wish granted.
(ROB snaps his fingers. Suddenly a fruit appeared in ARCH's hand. He carefully carries it like a f***ing fragile wine glass. The fruit is spherical and slightly oblong in shape, somewhat resembling a pinecone.)
ARCH: Wow, so beautiful.... How am I supposed to eat this? I don't have a mouth..... Then how am I talking then? Telepathy... senses... Who gives a f***k...
ROB: You can eat that later after materializing your body.... Your fourth wish?
ARCH: Good..... Now....what's next .. Speaking of devil fruit, what about Law's devil fruit or Marco's devil fruit? Those devil fruits are good for healing. My Pop's died because of old age and many unhealed injuries. Who to choose???.. I'll go with Ope Ope no Mi... K, that's it.... for my fourth wi-----
ROB: Stop repeating that phrase! I'm not a djinn... Ope Ope no Mi then (snaps his fingers). Wish granted.
(ARCH is now holding two devil fruits)
ROB: Get to it. What's your next wish?
ARCH: .... For my next wish, I wish you to be free from the lamp....(imagery tears flowing)
ROB: I TOLD YOU I'M NOT A GENIE!!!
ARCH: Sorry, sorry, I got too immersed..
AUTHOR: Hey, this wish sh*t is over 1000 words. Pack it, men.
ARCH: Shut up! I'm thinking... DEVIL FRUITS hmmmm..... If I happened to have a girl that will become my wife and have a family, then what happens when they.... nooooooo... never.... I won't let them die from old age! I won't let her beauty fade! Think... dammit, think! If Ope Ope fruit can heal, then I need a devil fruit that can restore life force... life force.... Ok then I want that Batto Batto no Mi!
/How did you come up with that logic: life force = Batto Batto no Mi? How???/
ARCH: PLOT ARMOR BABYYYY
ROB: Wait ..... aren't you being presumptuous? With that character and behavior of yours, you'll definitely stay single forever.
ARCH: HUHUHUHHHUHH. ahhhhhb. huhhhj. (he's crying btw. he's really crying because he's single since birth mueahahahaahh)
ROB: (snaps his fingers) Wish granted.
(With that ARCH now has 3 devil fruits: Uo Uo no Mi, Ope Ope no Mi, and Batto Batto no Mi).
ARCH: Hey..btw... I forgot to ask, what kind of world am I sticking my a** in..??
AUTHOR: It's My Hero Academia or Boku no Hero Academia in Japanese...
ARCH: The Boku what.?
AUTHOR: ??? Whattttttt? You don't know BNHA?
ARCH: NUH UH
AUTHOR: THE F*** YOU MEAN NUH UH?..
ARCH: Watch it, Author. I'm still stuck at episode 1071 of One Piece, and One Piece is the very first anime I've watched ....
AUTHOR: What the f***! Who, what, how did this happen??
ARCH: Hey, Author, stop acting dumb. It's in the script that you gave me ... even my D size is listed on it..
AUTHOR: How's my acting skill? Top-notch, ain't it .. I think I deserve some Grammy award. ... Chill, boy. The truth is I like how the story goes so I choose it.
ARCH: SO I'm like a fulfillment MC for the author ... haysst JUST BECAUSE YOU LIKE IT.... DAMMMMIT...
AUTHOR: YUP 👍
DIRECTOR: Yup 👍
ROB: HEYYY, focus! We're still not done...
ARCH: haysssttt.... okay .. calm down. I need to think about clues that I got from that stupid author. So the anime name is My Hero Academia... So hero means Hero, and when there's a hero, there's always a villain... make sense. Next clue is Academia, and academia means an environment or community concerned with the pursuit of research, education, and scholarship. (A cameo appearance from Google) Waitttttt a minuteeeeee! Did the author just set me up to fing school plot scenarios.... Hell nooooooo! So this anime is some kind of rom-com type, where the MC is a villain and his lover is a hero. In the end, they will have no choice but to fight and kill each other. How sad! And my role is to stop it... I think I get it now..... so that's it... Author, you fing piece of sh**ttttttt! What kind of mess is this?
AUTHOR: Heyyy, stop imagining things. Just finish this chapter and say your wishes.
ARCH: Did he just dodge my question? Yup, he dodged it. So the rom-com is true.... So I am just a third wheel.. haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa...
AUTHOR: Guy is nuts. He doesn't have a clue on what MHA is. Like, how do you miss a 9.6 anime rating...
ARCH: Relax .. huuuu Hu. huu... hu... okayyy let's do this ..
ROB: Finally, after 500 letters, we're resuming.....
ARCH: ROB... listen carefully, 'cuz my next wish will be the most needed wish I can ever ask you... and will give me a guaranteed wife.
ROB: I know what you're thinking. I can read your mind, remember?.. Do you want me to act like I don't know anything or act like I'm very surprised?
ARCH: Yuppp.. Act like you're very surprised ...okay.yyy. My wish is for Boa Hancock to fall in love with me.. (Smirking like he f***ing won a million dollars)
ROB: Whattttt! That's your wish... ok. You know she's from other franchise, right?.....
ARCH: Yup, of course I know... Can you do it .. can you do it.. can you do it (With pleading eyes)
ROB: (shakes his head and he snaps his fingers) Wish granted ... [too tired to explain each consequence].
ARCH bowed to Gramps and thank him. He even serves him tea that came out from nowhere ...
ROB just shook his head and look at the soul of ARCH, who is currently jumping and flying like a fly..
ROB: [After five years of crying while sleeping, it's the first time I saw him motivated and delighted. Like how Icarus couldn't resist the sun..] Human, you're acting like a lecherous monkey.
ARCH: Sorry, got a little bit excited. Hehe.
ROB: LIKE I said, love is something unpredictable, so if your wish failed, then it's on you.
ARCH: 👍 👌🏿 Oksss ....
ROB: Now let's finish this.... your wish?
ARCH: I think I've packed enough. Template of Pops ✅️ Three powerful devil fruits ✅️ Wife ✅️ Well, the wife thing is still not guaranteed... So what's next.... I'm kinda lost here.... I think I really need a logia type of power, just in case there are villains there who can defeat my physical form and destroy my body... so yup, yup, let's go with some logia .... Should I go with light or rumble ??? hmmmmmmmm....
AUTHOR: Don't choose a speed type logia.
ARCH: HUH, WHY...
AUTHOR: I've read a lot of novels where the MCs have that kind of power. So no, nope! Same power system, same scenario, do you get it? Of course Sand and Ice is also a big NO.
ARCH: Make sense.. I guess. So what is left ..... hmmmm. Wait .. wait, how come I didn't notice this devil fruit? This feels like Itachi's power. Hey Gramps, seventh wish: Is this Susu Susu no Mi .. ueahhhhhhhh.... Let's goooooo!
ROB: Ok.. wish granted.(snaps his fingers)....
ARCH: Now I still got 3 wishes to spare.
ROB: No, ARCH, only one left!
ARCH: HUH. One left...?
ROB: One is for the destination, which the author wished... And the other one is for your appearance, or do you want to use the template of Edward through and through.
ARCH: THAT STUPID AUTHOR. HDSSSSSS.....
[13 minutes later]
AUTHOR: Timeskip! Seriously?
ARCH: I can never compare myself to The Strongest Man. His appearance is his symbol. That's why he is called Whitebeard.... but I'll take the tattoo. I want it on my back like Ace..... I'll carry his history, "The Strongest Man In The World," as a self-proclaimed Son...
AUTHOR: D-director, did you hear that? "He said it!"
DIRECTOR: I heard it and it's soooo.... it's sound so cringe.
AUTHOR: Yup, sounds so cringe.
ROB: YUP (NODDING)
ARCH: HEY, where's the moral support....
ROB: That was awkward.. Moving on... For your last wish, tell me, ARCH D. NEWGATE, SELF-PROCLAIMED SON OF WHITEBEARD, WHAT'S YOUR LAST WISH....