—August 30th—
Life ...
I am sure that as we grow older, our perspective on life bound to change. From being a child with a myriad of dreams, or even during the puberty phase where we were still ambitious about our aspirations.
To questioning why do we live and what exactly is the purpose of our lives?
Some people argue that humans live to have fun, whether with friends, family, or the loved ones around them before their time in this world runs out.
Some also argue that humans live for religious reasons, such as being pious, serving God by doing many positive things and staying away from His prohibitions.
Yet, not infrequently, there are also humans who have no purpose in life—or more precisely, have already given up on living but are still walking because of routine, or because they still have responsibilities, or even out of fear of dying.
I know that what I just said sounds edgy for a teenager like me, I don't mind your opinions about it.
However, I am reminded of a saying by a philosopher named Socrates with the quote: "The unexamined life is not worth living."
It seems Socrates himself wants us to contemplate life for self-reflection or even to search for the truth of our lives to prevent emptiness within ourselves.
Unfortunately, I am the second one ...
The cool night breeze with the moonlight illuminating this night, I drag my feet slowly as if I don't have any enthusiasm, though in reality, it is indeed so.
Not without reason, but ... It's because I myself have a lot of problems, just take a recent example ... I spent my time working hard without living my life like ordinary teenagers.
Exaggerating? Maybe ... But unfortunately, this has been going on since a long time ago, which means I barely had a childhood like children in general.
My footsteps, moving without purpose, brought me to a stone bridge with a swiftly flowing river beneath it.
The soothing sound of the water made me unable to resist leaning against the edge of the barrier while enjoying the view of the moon reflected through the flowing river.
"How long do I have to keep going like this ... Is this the life destined for me?"
There was no reply, only silence with the sound of water flowing below. I slowly tightened my grip on the edge of the barrier to lift my body up onto the bridge railing before slowly standing on the edge of the bridge with my gaze downward.
"If I jump, I will probably die slowly until my lungs are filled with water ... But do I really want this?"
I was about to lift my right foot, but for some reason, it felt so heavy that I couldn't lift my foot. Is this what they call fear?
Some of you might think of me that "as a guy, how can you be so weak, be strong!" or "a guy has to be strong!, there is no such thing as an easy life". Well, please laugh at me, you are not wrong.
But do not blame me if your words instead become one of the reasons for someone else to make a decision like mine.
While gathering my strength, I tried to lift my foot, which felt as if it were weighed down by thousands of tons of iron.
What if I die? Won't I just leave my mother and my younger sibling alone in this wretched world? Drowning to death, isn't that too painful and torturous?
Those thoughts echoed in my head, why do these voices always appear every time I try to end my suffering?
"STOP IT!!!!"
The scream of a girl shattered my daydream, as if pulling me back to reality.
Without having time to respond or even look back, a tight grip on my wrist made me lose my balance until I fell onto the floor of the bridge.
"Oww... What is your problem, exactly?"
Just as I said it, my gaze instantly directed toward the girl with long pink-caramel hair. Her beautiful pink-peach eyes and her face, illuminated by the moonlight, made her so beautiful like a Goddess descending from the full moon.
Wait ... This girl is ...
To be continued...