The sky was a graveyard of frozen clouds. Below it, the world felt like a paused video game—except for me, and except for the man currently radiating enough golden light to blind a god.
Jude didn't just stand; he ascended. Hovering six inches off the scorched grass, his S-Rank "Holy Aura" flared with a sudden, violent intensity. It was the "Aura of Absolute Purity," a power designed to incinerate lies, demons, and F-Rank losers who treated legendary artifacts like hygiene products.
"Enough!" Jude's voice boomed, layered with a divine echo that made the dirt vibrate. "Volkov, your blasphemy ends here. You have tainted the Heart of the Mountain with your filth. I will purify this clearing—and your soul—in the name of the Academy!"
The fans, mostly the junior mage girls who followed Jude like lost ducklings, swooned. They clutched their chests, watching their Golden Boy prepare to deliver a righteous smiting. The light was beautiful. It was majestic. It was... incredibly annoying.
I squinted, the back-scratcher—now turning back into a terrifying, soul-bleeding sword—heavy in my hand. My head felt like it had been put through a blender. My Stability Points were bottoming out, and the "Developer" login message was still burning in the sky like a neon death warrant.
"System," I hissed, shielding my eyes. "I can't see. Can we dim the lights? He's acting like a high-beam truck on a dark highway."
> **[System Message]**
> **[WARNING: All Interpretation Slots are on Cooldown (23:14 Remaining).]**
> **[Current CP: 0.]**
> **[Notice: 'The Developer' is observing local physics. Any further logic breaks will result in immediate 'Account Deletion'.]**
>
"I don't have twenty-three hours!" I shouted internally as Jude raised his glowing sword, the light intensifying until it was a solid wall of white-hot radiance. "If he hits me with that 'Purification,' I'm going to be erased from the server! Give me a bypass! A sub-routine! Anything!"
> **[System Message]**
> **[Emergency Protocol: 'The Beta Tester's Privilege'.]**
> *Requirement: Sacrifice 500 EXP (Debt addition).*
> *Effect: One-time 'Minor Narrative Edit' without using a slot.*
>
"Charge it to my soul," I grunted. "Just make him stop glowing!"
I stared at Jude. I looked at the way his light flickered at the edges, the way it pulsed with his heartbeat. I didn't see a holy warrior. I saw a cheap, plastic product that had been left in the sun too long.
*Interpretation,* I whispered, my mind leaning into the sheer, petty spite of a man who just wanted to finish his steak. *That's not Holy Aura. That's just a **Cheap, Glitchy, $2 Flashlight** with a loose battery connection.*
**[Narrative Edit Applied: 'Discount Hardware']**
**[Target: Jude's Holy Aura]**
The change was instantaneous and humiliating.
The majestic, divine roar of Jude's power suddenly died, replaced by a pathetic, electric *bzzzt-snap* sound. The blinding golden pillar of light vanished. In its place, Jude's body began to flicker with a sickly, yellowish tint.
*Blink. Blink. Darkness. Blink.*
He looked less like a savior and more like a broken streetlamp in a sketchy alleyway. Every time he tried to channel his power, his face would light up for half a second before the "bulb" died again. He hovered for a moment, then dropped unceremoniously into the mud with a wet *thud* as his "flight" flickered out.
"What... what is this?" Jude stammered, frantically shaking his hands as if he could restart his own soul. *Snap. Buzz.* A faint, dying orange light emitted from his chest, then sputtered into a puff of gray smoke.
The fan girls stood in stunned silence. Their Golden Boy was currently spasming on the ground, flickering like a horror movie ghost with a bad wiring job.
"Jude, buddy," I said, stepping over a piece of obsidian armor and looking down at him. "I think you're out of batteries. Have you tried tapping your head against a wall? Usually works for cheap junk."
"I am... *flicker*... the Light... *buzz*... of the Academy!" Jude roared, but as he pointed his finger at me, the only thing that came out was a tiny, pathetic spark and a smell like burning plastic.
The Admin, still frozen in the Developer's "Pause State," seemed to glitch for a second. Her eyes moved—just a fraction—toward me.
> **[System Message]**
> **[CRITICAL ALERT: 'The Developer' has detected the logic error.]**
> **[Action: Manual Scan initiated on 'Viktor Volkov'.]**
>
A beam of pure, white light—real light, not Jude's discount version—descended from the golden box in the sky, hitting me squarely in the chest. My Rank F badge didn't just glow; it shattered.
"Oh, come on," I groaned as my body began to digitize, turning into a stream of blue and white pixels. "I haven't even finished the steak yet!"
> **[System Message]**
> **[User 01: Viktor Volkov is being moved to 'The Admin Room' for 'Bug Reporting'.]**
>
The world dissolved. The last thing I saw was Jude, still flickering in the dark, and Han Se-ah watching me vanish with an expression that said she was definitely going to charge me for the wedding dress.