This is my story.
It is not a story about someone who's special or someone who was born into a rich family.
This is the story of a person who failed.
My grandfather used to tell me the thing every morning when he was still alive.
"Swaron do not think about it do not talk about it do not wish for it do it move, start, act trust me it is the only way to get there."
His words were supposed to motivate me.
But as I walked down the street nineteen years old with black hair and eyes that looked tired I realized that motivation does not put food on the table it does not pay for medical treatment.
I looked like any student in my school uniform.
Inside I was already feeling hopeless.
My father, Walmer Chenab left us because he thought we were not worth investing in.
He stopped giving us money when my half-brother, Ralph Chenab got a job as an engineer.
To Walmer Chenab children were not family they were things that could make him money.
Ralph Chenab was someone who could make him a lot of money. I was not.
Then my mother, Maria Chenab got lung cancer.
She did not get any support from her husband, Walmer Chenab.
He looked at her. Saw someone who was going to cost him money.
Eventually the stress became too much. They went to court.
One night after my mother could not stop crying from the stress Walmer Chenab threw us out of the house.
He literally threw our things onto the sidewalk. Brought Ralph Chenab in to live with him in luxury.
We had to move into my mothers parents house.
The court system is slow and it costs a lot of money.
We had to go to court times month after month.
But there was no progress only whispers from our relatives.
"It is Swarons fault if he was a good son Walmer Chenab would not have left."
"He is the one who made his father do this."
My mother defended me every time.
She worked hard cleaning, cooking doing difficult labor just to pay for our stay.
I saw her crying every night her tears silent so I would not hear.
Every time she cried it felt like a knife in my heart.
One afternoon the house was empty.
Our relatives had all gone to the park for a tour.
They were laughing, eating and enjoying their lives.
My mother was alone cooking for the people who whispered about her behind her back.
Then she had a panic attack combined with the cancer.
She collapsed onto the kitchen floor.
Her phone was out of reach.
She tried to call our relatives at the picnic.
Nobody picked up.
They were having much fun to check their phones.
In an act of desperation she called my school.
I was in the middle of a class when the principal came in his face pale.
He handed me the phone.
"Swaron, your mother!"
I did not think I just ran.
I ran until my vision blurred.
I burst into the house. Saw her on the floor struggling to breathe.
"Mother, mother please do not leave me!"
I had no money for a taxi I had nothing.
I carried her on my back running toward the city hospital my legs shaking with every step.
The hospital lobby was cold.
"Sir get a ticket from the section first " a nurse said, her voice robotic.
I ran to the glass window.
"Sir please can I get a ticket?"
My eyes were overflowing with tears.
I could not stop shaking.
The ticket clerk looked at me.
"Entry ticket is 10 won."
The world stopped.
10 won I did not even have a coin in my pockets.
"I do not have it."
"Then I can not give you the ticket " the clerk said, looking back at his computer.
I looked at my mother on the nurses bed.
She was turning grey.
"Please give me the ticket my mother is dying I will pay you back I swear on my life!"
The clerk looked at me at the dying woman.
He. Leaned in close.
"Boy even if I give you this the hospital fees are a hundred times more than mine you can not stay here for free."
He checked his shoulder then slid a slip of paper through the slot.
"Do not tell anyone take it go."
"Thank you thank you sir!"
I turned to run. A heavy hand landed on my shoulder.
A man in a white coat stood there Dr. Kroll.
He had been watching the time.
"So tell me " Dr. Kroll said, his voice dripping with arrogance.
"Why have you not paid, you, boy, look at me."
"Sir I..."
Before I could explain Dr. Kroll snatched the ticket from my hand. Ripped it in half.
"Sir please!" the clerk shouted.
"He is a boy!"
"Shut up!" Dr. Kroll snapped.
"This is not a charity a poor hospital is not for people who can not pay the bill."
On the stretcher my mothers eyes opened slowly.
She saw Dr. Kroll looming over me.
She saw me, her son crying and humiliated before the world.
"Swaron..." she whispered.
Tears leaked from her eyes.
"I always wanted you to have the father, the best life but my son..."
She coughed, a wet rattling sound.
"I am sorry,I can not even give you the money to save your own life."
I could not watch her die like this.
I ran.
I burst onto the road screaming at the top of my lungs.
"HELP ME, SOMEONE, MY MOTHER IS SICK I WILL WORK FOR YOU FOREVER PLEASE!"
Cars honked.
People walked around me as if I were a ghost.
I. Ran toward the one place I hated the Chenab House.
I pounded on the door until my knuckles bled.
"OPEN THE DOOR, FATHER, FATHER!"
The door opened.
Walmer Chenab stood there in a silk robe.
"What is it you brat, you chose her remember, you filed a court case against us."
Ralph Chenab stepped out behind him looking clean and professional.
"Father what is going on?"
I dropped to my knees.
I put my face in the dirt.
"Father please help us mother needs money for the hospital please."
"I am not giving you a cent " Walmer Chenab spat.
Ralph Chenab leaned over. Whispered something into Walmer Chenabs ear.
A dark crooked smile spread across my fathers face.
"Alright " Walmer Chenab said.
"I will help,. You owe me a favor."
"Anything!" I cried.
"Whatever it is I will sell my body if I have to give you the money back!"
"I do not need your body " Walmer Chenab said, pulling a document from a folder on the hall table.
"I want you to sign this it is a withdrawal of the court case you sign away your rights. You never mention my name again."
I froze.
"But we will be on the road we have else."
"Do not worry " Walmer Chenab lied, pointing to a empty lot across the street.
"I will build you a house right there you and your mother can live 'happily' in front of me just sign."
". Father—"
"Sign it or get out with nothing."
I looked at the pen.
I thought of my mothers rattling breath.
I signed it.
It took them three hours to "arrange" the cash.
Three hours of sitting on the porch while they laughed inside.
Finally they threw a bag of money at me.
I grabbed it. Ran.
My legs felt like they were made of lead. I did not stop.
I burst into the hospital clutching the bag to my chest.
"I HAVE IT I HAVE THE MONEY!"
The lobby was quiet.
A large crowd had gathered around a covered stretcher, near the entrance.
"Who is this woman?" a stranger asked.
"She is dead."
The bag fell.
The money spilled out onto the hospital floor thousands of won scattered like trash.
People stepped on the bills as they walked by.
The money I had sold my soul for was useless.
I fell to my knees my voice tearing through my throat in a scream that felt like it would never end.
"MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
[Chapter 1 Ends]