I rise from my bed of clouds, woken up by noise,
Opened my eyes immediately with a raging boner.
I was surprised, there was nobody around, I get the feeling something violated me in my sleep.
Suddenly something terrible came back to mind,
The prophecy of some bluesy gay dude,
"If you sleep while blazed, you'll end up with a woman."
At the thought of sex with a girl I started cutting off my fingers.
Holy shit, the homo-devil played a trick on me, suddenly I felt a temptation for a devilish ass.
I couldn't accept such an insult, so I headed down to hell and violated the homo-devil.
Sex with the arch-devil got me seriously fired up, but the arch-devil burned the hair off my balls with his flames.
I said: "You bastard, I'd been growing them for a year," He just laughed and pelted me with his waste.
He said he only wanted to use me sexually, and was going to contaminate my weed with his seed.
I'd never felt such rage before, so I challenged him to a sperm duel. I called up Jesus, and asked him to be the judge of the competition.
Three events were waiting for us, my ass was literally trembling.
Whoever loses has to lick the winner's feet, and be his bitch for all eternity.
I faced off against the ruler of hell,I bet my ass on losing.Signed a pact with the devil over ass,A manly duel over who's got the bigger rod.We were both Black men,And neither of us ever fell short in this aspect.
The first event was something that disgusted me deeply.
Whoever finishes faster with a woman wins, without puking all over the room during the horrible act.
After a hit I had a vivid imagination
And pictured it as a femboy instead. That's how I won that round.
The second was who could last longer with thorns on their dick, while getting plowed by a man.
The arch-devil was into BDSM, nine hours of multiple men going at him.
I only lasted five seconds, and lost that round.
The third was who could fit more dicks in their ass, Thug dicks, lowlife dicks.
They called in a sex addict and his crew, but they seemed to recognize me from the weed plantation.
They said: "You're that loser from under the bridge, who tried to scam us and poison our weed." "So we'll give you the guys with the biggest dicks, and we'll make sure you lose."
I was furious because I was absolutely terrified, I pictured myself becoming Luis's bitch.
The round began and I was stressed out.
Already feeling serious pain at just two dicks. Their dicks were about two meters long, and on top of that they were shoving pubic hair in too.
I faced off against the ruler of hell,I bet my ass on losing.Signed a pact with the devil over ass,A manly duel over who's got the bigger rod.We were both Black men,and neither of us ever fell short in this aspect.
I was barely holding on through the pain, and had already accepted I was going to lose.
Luis fit seven dicks in without a problem, while I barely managed four and started pleasuring myself.
Suddenly a miracle happened, something beautiful appeared, Five o'clock struck, and the thorns in his ass respawned.
Everyone pulled their dick out and started going for his neck, but the rules didn't cover necks at all.
The thorns in Luis's ass secured my victory.
I was thrilled because I'd won the duel and from then on I could rail the arch-devil Luis whenever I wanted.
But as everyone knows, I was a merciful man, so I let Luis go free from my captivity.
After the duel I went to see Jesus, and we smoked a blunt together up in heaven.
I told him I wanted to retire, I just want to smoke weed and play with my dick.
But I couldn't bring myself to abandon my legacy, so I crafted a son from my rib and my sperm.
I told him: "Son, you're going to make reggae. Not sleep with women, only with your homie." I sent my son out into the world, and finished smoking my joint.
Honestly, life in heaven seems so much more peaceful, smoking weed and jerking off was never more beautiful.
I faced off against the ruler of hell,I bet my ass on losing.Signed a pact with the devil over ass,A manly duel over who's got the bigger rod.We were both Black men,and neither of us ever fell short in this aspect.