"This is it! A secret treasure I excavated from some ancient ruin back when I was a former General in the Demon King's Army. The [Fully Automatic Good Luck Spray Accidentally Dropped by the God of Fortune]!"
Wiz introduced it with a proud look on her face, even wiping the dust off the metal canister with her sleeve. "Its effect is incredible! Just give yourself one spray, and for the next twenty-four hours, no matter what kind of bad luck you run into, it'll be turned into a lucky outcome by irresistible circumstances! And it's powered entirely by natural magic, so it absolutely won't drain the user's vitality like those cursed items do. It's a very, very safe treasure!"
"Fully Automatic Good Luck Spray?" Kazuma leaned in suspiciously, his eyes full of distrust. "Wiz-san, no offense, but judging from your track record, whenever you say something is absolutely safe, that usually means it's only safe as long as nobody uses it, right?"
"N-no, that's not true!" Wiz stamped her feet in a panic, and the dramatic rise and fall of her chest made Kōichi's eyelids twitch. "This time it's real! I tested it myself... although I accidentally sprayed it into my eyes during the test, so I walked straight into the doorframe three times in a row. But afterward, I found a dropped 10-Eris coin in the crack of the frame! Isn't that lucky?!"
Kōichi stared at the metal cylinder plastered all over with seals, along with the tiny warning labels faintly visible on them. "Extremely Dangerous," "Do Not Use on Living Beings," "May Cause Reality Logic to Collapse." He fell silent in thought.
"Wiz, we appreciate the gesture." Smiling, Kōichi gently held her small hands, cold from nervousness, his voice as soft as water. "Since you say it's something good, we'll accept it. But... if it's really such a precious treasure, I think it'd be better to save it for a critical moment. Like... when Aqua causes some completely unmanageable disaster again."
"Kōichi-san... you're so thoughtful!" Tears welled up in Wiz's eyes again as she clasped his hand in return. "Then please, you have to take it! It's just a little token from me!"
Watching the two of them in that tearful hand-clasping moment, Kazuma silently rolled his eyes and muttered, "Oh, give me a break. If that thing could really improve your luck, Wiz-san, you wouldn't still be hanging on the edge of running in the red. Bro, I've got a bad feeling this thing's going to turn into the biggest landmine of our lives."
Kōichi put the spray away, but inwardly he was thinking: This is a token of love from Wiz!!!
Without changing expression, Kōichi stuffed the seal-covered metal cylinder, which looked like it might trigger a dimensional collapse at any second, into the deepest part of his backpack with the practiced ease of someone handling hazardous materials.
Seeing Wiz's adorable state, face bright red from having her hand held and even starting to move in a flustered, awkward sync, Kōichi lightly patted the back of her hand and smoothly steered the conversation back on track.
"All right, Wiz, I've accepted the gift. Thank you very much. So next, shouldn't we let a certain weakest class, who's been waiting so long he's about to turn into a statue, witness the true power of a Great Lich?"
As he spoke, Kōichi let go of her hand and threw Kazuma, who had been rolling his eyes so hard they were nearly cramping, a look that said, your turn.
"Ah! R-right, sorry! I'll begin now!" It was like someone had flipped a switch in Wiz. She hurriedly straightened her slightly disheveled purple dress and did her best to put on the air of a stern instructor. "Now then, Kazuma-san. While it's true that it's very difficult for an Adventurer to learn the skills of other classes, if you have enough aptitude, you can still master some simple practical magic. For example... [Enemy Detection]."
Wiz raised a slender finger, and a dim purple glow flickered at the tip.
"Close your eyes and feel the flow of magic in the air. Imagine your senses spreading outward like a spider's web. Any hostile fluctuation directed at you will appear in your mind as a clear red dot. For Adventurers who often need to make strategic retreats, this is a very life-saving skill."
"Strategic retreat, huh? That's a classy way of putting it." Kazuma shut his eyes and began following Wiz's instructions. To be fair, this guy's talent for running away and sneaking around really was absurdly beyond the norm. In no time at all, the corners of his mouth began to lift. "Oooh! I can feel it! It's like someone's pressing an ice cube against my back... wait, Wiz-san, why is my head full of red dots right now? And they seem to be coming from right outside the shop?"
Kōichi's eyes sharpened, and he immediately activated [Insight].
Sure enough, before Wiz could explain, the shop door was slammed open with a bang by sheer brute force!
"Kōichi. Hayashi!! You really are here!! I knew it, you and Kazuma sneaking out together could only mean you were up to no good!! Coming to this creepy shop behind our backs to hog all the good stuff for yourselves!!"
Aqua came charging in, fists waving, carrying the scent of holy water and a sky-high cloud of resentment. Behind her was Megumin, looking utterly helpless, clearly dragged here by force to serve as free labor.
"Waaah! Aqua-sama! P-please calm down! Don't use Purification Magic in here, my body will melt!!"
With a cry of despair, Wiz instantly hid behind Kōichi, clutching his clothes tightly with both hands and curling up into herself.
Kōichi looked at the chaotic scene in front of him, then at Kazuma's face, already dark as the bottom of a pot, and let out a helpless sigh.
"Aqua, if you shut up right now, there'll still be a share of the red wine beef stew for you tonight."
Kōichi calmly played his trump card.
Aqua froze on the spot. The face that had been full of righteous fury switched in less than a tenth of a second into a flattering grin.
"Ehehe! Kōichi-sama, what are you saying? I was just worried you might run into danger out here, so I came specially to protect you! Right, Megumin?"
Megumin raised her staff expressionlessly and pointed at the ceiling. "I just wanted to see whether this place sells any secret medicine that can boost the power of Explosion Magic. Since Kōichi is here, maybe lunch is worth looking forward to."
Kōichi rubbed his temples and turned to Wiz, who looked like she was about to cry. "Sorry, Wiz. Looks like today's private lesson is turning into a family meal. If you don't mind, could I borrow your kitchen? I'm thinking of doing something with that dessert so everyone can eat together."
"N-no problem! As long as nobody purifies me, anything is negotiable!!"
Wiz shouted in relief.
In the cramped little corner of Wiz's shop that could barely be called a kitchen, a rich meaty aroma was already spreading thick enough to make every Adventurer in Axel drool.
Kōichi was calmly working the spatula, stir-frying cubes of premium beef with his special blend of spices. The constant sizzle from the pan mixed with the sound of Aqua audibly gulping down her drool nearby, creating a bizarre sort of harmony.
At the counter, Wiz was earnestly guiding Kazuma.
"Yes, Kazuma-san, that's the feeling. Place your palm against the target's skin and imagine yourself as a dried-out sponge, greedily drawing out the other person's life force and magic... that is [Drain Touch]. Since I'm a Lich, it comes quite naturally to me, but humans need to be careful not to overuse it."
A faint glow shone from Kazuma's palm as he stared at a spider in the corner with a downright sinister grin.
"Heh heh, it worked! With this skill, I'll have unlimited endurance from now on! Whether it's using skills or doing manual labor..."
Just as this warm, cozy stretch of teaching and cooking reached its peak, the shop door suddenly exploded open with an even more outrageous crash than when Aqua had barged in earlier.
"Hahahaha! What a magnificently absurd little farce, overflowing with both stupidity and warmth! I crossed the borders of Hell precisely to witness this very moment!!"
A man in a tailored suit, draped in a black cape and wearing a stark black-and-white mask with a bizarre expression, walked in with exaggerated waltz-like steps.
He spread his arms wide as though embracing all the chaos in the world, his rich voice tinged with a smug delight that instantly made him annoying.
"Oh my, oh my, and who do we have here? Why, it is the peculiar man who has thrown Axel's course of fate into utter disorder. Kōichi-dono! Even from afar, I could smell that delicious aura of unpredictability and mystery clinging to you! And of course, there is also this irresistibly tantalizing pot of... beef?"
"V-Vanir-san?!" Wiz jumped up from her chair in fright, nearly crashing straight into Kazuma. "W-weren't you supposed to be dealing with that batch of talking cursed dolls? Why are you back at a time like this...?"
"Hmph. How could that tedious work possibly compare to witnessing a turning point in destiny?" Vanir elegantly adjusted his mask, the lone eyehole gleaming with a light that seemed to see through everything. Then he turned toward Kōichi, who had come out still holding the spatula. "Kōichi-dono, I am Vanir, Duke of Hell, the Devil who sees through all things in this world! Though I have not yet officially taken up residence in this hopeless shop teetering on the brink of collapse, I have already foreseen that you shall become my finest future customer... or perhaps my most entertaining source of trouble?"
The instant Aqua saw Vanir, her big aqua-blue eyes went wide, and an intense holy radiance began pouring from her.
"A Devil! An evil Devil! Kōichi! Get back! Let me blast this guy in the stupid mask back where he came from with sacred Purification Magic!!"
"Silence, you useless Goddess whose only talent is drinking red wine." Vanir did not even bother turning around. With a casual wave of his hand, a surge of pitch-black magic snuffed out Aqua's still-forming glow. "I have no desire at present to deal with a life-form whose brain appears to be overgrown with moss."