Seeing the fanatic mob behind him, Kōichi picked up speed and, without meaning to, ended up running back toward the inn. There, he happened to run into Kazuma and Dust, who had just come out to begin their psychological rehabilitation.
The two of them were still in their back-to-back conjoined-twin mode.
Just as Kōichi was about to crash into the pair, he suddenly sprang off the ground. His whole body shot upward like a bolt of black lightning, vaulting over Kazuma and Dust's two heads, which were pressed tightly together.
"Coming through!"
Even in midair, Kōichi did not forget to shout. And because Wiz's body was so slippery, his hand instinctively shifted upward a little, drawing a low moan from the Lich in his arms.
Kazuma and Dust were still somewhat dazed, their eyes showing a shockingly identical dead-fish stare.
The very next second after Kōichi leapt past them, the ground-shaking thunder of footsteps came rushing in, accompanied by a thick stench of sweat packed with the resentment of single men.
It was a group of Axis Order believers with bloodshot eyes, drooling mouths, twitching muscles, and nothing on but loincloths.
"D-Dust." Kazuma's hands began trembling violently, the figures of those fanatical believers reflected in his dead-fish eyes. "Look at their eyes... that hunger, like they want to swallow someone whole, flesh and bones included... that madness, like they'll stop at nothing to trample their target..."
"...Yeah, I see it, Brother Kazuma." A drop of cold sweat slid down Dust's forehead. "They're... they're exactly like those Orcs from back then! No, these believers are even less reasonable than the Orcs!"
Deep in their memories, the shadow of being surrounded by those powerful female Orcs, chased across three whole mountains, and treated as breeding material came roaring back to life.
The fear of being dominated, the shudder of having their male dignity utterly crushed, reached its peak in that instant.
And yet, faced with extreme fear, these two completely broken men underwent a miraculous evolution known as having nothing left to lose.
Kazuma suddenly turned around. Since he was tied to Dust, the two nearly toppled over together, but his eyes shone with a resolve he had never shown before.
"Dust! We can't keep running! If we can't even beat these loincloth perverts, we'll never escape the shadow of the Orcs for the rest of our lives!"
"Exactly! The best way to overcome fear is to face it head-on!" Dust let out a tragic roar. "Come on, Axis Order believers! You lunatics with nothing but jealousy to your names! Feel the wrath of the conjoined warriors!"
"Ooooooh!"
The two grown men charged at the fanatical believers like a pair of waddling penguins, or an out-of-control two-headed tank, in a stance that was ridiculously comical yet somehow shockingly imposing.
"Huh? Where did these two freaks come from?!"
"Two men tied together and charging at us... gross! Is this some new kind of heretic attack?!"
"Move! We're going to steal that busty beauty! Kick those two tied-up pieces of trash aside!"
Bang! Boom!
Two forces filled with resentment and fear slammed violently into each other in the middle of the corridor.
Kazuma swung his little fists while still remembering to use [Steal], trying to snatch the lead believer's loincloth and throw them into chaos. Dust, meanwhile, rammed his head straight into someone's stomach.
Kōichi hid around a distant corner with Wiz in his arms, watching the corridor collapse into a massive brawl. He could not help wiping away a cold sweat.
(...I'm touched, really, but watching two grown men tied together while brawling with a bunch of half-naked muscleheads is doing serious damage to my sanity.)
"...Kōichi-san... Kazuma-san and the others... will they be all right?" Wiz asked softly, curled up in Kōichi's arms.
"Don't worry. Those two have more life in them than cockroaches. While we have the chance, let's hurry to the changing room, get dressed, and get out of this damn place!"
A philosophical brawl worthy of being recorded in the history of Axel, or perhaps Arcanletia, was reaching its climax.
Kōichi hid around the corner with Wiz in his arms, staring dumbfounded at the bizarre yet heroic scene ahead.
Kazuma and Dust had originally tied themselves together just to escape the shadow of the Orcs. But now, tempered by the flames of jealousy, they had developed a suffocating level of teamwork.
"Dust! Three believers on the left are trying to sneak up behind us!" Kazuma shouted in a shrill command.
"Leave it to me, Brother Kazuma! As long as we stay back-to-back, our defense has no blind spots!"
Dust roared and suddenly leaned backward, using both their body weight to drag Kazuma into an extremely awkward but devastating two-man spinning kick.
Bang! Bang! Bang!
The three believers trying to rush them were swept away by the conjoined spin and slammed into the wall with dull thuds.
Kazuma used the opening created by the spin to slice his right hand precisely through the air, activating his skill several times in a row.
"[Steal]! [Steal]! [Steal]!"
With several flashes of white light, screams erupted all through the corridor.
The leading believers suddenly felt a chill around their lower halves. Their only remaining scraps of modesty, their loincloths, were now neatly hanging from Kazuma's fingertips.
"Waaah! My loincloth! That was a limited-edition sacred-pattern loincloth from the Axis Cult!"
"That bastard... he stole our souls! Everyone, cover the important parts!"
The believer army, which had been charging with such ferocity, instantly fell into chaos.
To these fanatics, the shame of losing their loincloths surpassed even bodily pain.
Meanwhile, Kazuma and Dust, two useless men who had once been ruled by fear, now had a certain light shining in their eyes. The light of awakening.
"Do you see it, Dust...? They're trembling." An extremely twisted smile appeared on Kazuma's face. He wiped the sweat from his face, and the soul of sadistic Kazuma had fully returned to his eyes. "So as long as we're even more perverted and unreasonable than they are, fear doesn't matter at all!"
"Yeah... I feel it, Kazuma." Dust panted heavily. Their bodies were pressed tightly together from the intense movement, their sweat mingling. "The mountain called Orc has crumbled. Now, even if I faced ten thousand female Orcs, I could stand tall... I'd still run, but my heart would no longer tremble!"
The two looked at each other. Though they were back-to-back and could not see each other's faces, a burning bond that crossed dimensions and gender spread freely through the corridor.
They charged again, throwing themselves into the brawl with the believers in a nearly self-destructive frenzy.
The sound of fists striking flesh, the ripping of loincloths, and Aqua's clueless cheering from the side wove together into an absurd symphony.
After a long while, the fighting finally ended.
Axis Order believers lay scattered all over the corridor, clutching their lower halves and questioning their lives.
Kazuma and Dust had also finally burned through the last of their strength. Bruised and swollen, they collapsed onto the floor. The thick hemp rope had loosened during the chaos, but they still remained pressed tightly against each other.
"...Heh... hehe..." Kazuma stared at the ceiling, a relieved streak of blood at the corner of his mouth, smiling like an idiot. "We won... Dust, we won."
"Yeah... this feeling... isn't bad at all." Dust wore the same dazed smile.
In that moment, the shadow of the Orcs that had hung over them for days was completely scattered by this philosophy-laden fistfight.
Not only had they recovered their fighting spirit as Adventurers, they had also gained a profound friendship that was almost painful to look at.
Kōichi walked out from the shadows with Wiz in his arms. Seeing the two men lying on the floor and gazing at each other so tenderly, he could not help shuddering.
"Hey, you two... if you don't get up and put some clothes on, I really am going to call the police and report a large illegal gathering."
"...Kōichi-san, Kazuma-san and the others... seem very happy." Wiz curled up in Kōichi's arms, a hint of confusion in her eyes. "Is this what humans call the bond between men?"
"No, Wiz. That's just two perverts keeping each other warm." Kōichi sighed and stepped straight over the two men, who were giving off a strange aura. "Come on. Before those believers come to their senses, we need to hurry to the changing room. If I keep holding you like this, my sanity is going to hit zero."
Kōichi quickened his pace and swiftly slipped toward the women's changing room.
After all, Wiz was still in an alluring state, nearly naked and half-transparent. If they stayed in the corridor any longer, he was afraid even he might not be able to resist joining that philosophical free-for-all.