In a corner of the locker room, Wiz sat resting against a bench, wrapped in a thick bath towel, her face flushed.
Thanks to Kōichi's steady supply of spiritual energy, the Lich had finally been pulled back from the brink of purification by the Holy Water. Now she kept sneaking shy, grateful glances at Kōichi as he wiped away his sweat.
On the other side, Kazuma and Dust, fresh from their philosophical brawl, stood stark naked in the middle of the locker room.
The thick hemp rope that had symbolized fear and bondage had snapped into several pieces. Their bodies were covered in bruises, but their eyes had never looked clearer.
It was the clarity of the depraved.
"...Phew. I feel like I've been reborn, Dust." Kazuma pulled up his pants while flashing an incredibly twisted, villainous smile. "Orcs, PTSD, none of that matters in the face of absolute desire. Right now, there's only one thing on my mind..."
"Same here, brother Kazuma." Dust wiped away his nosebleed and leered toward the entrance to the mixed bath. "Aqua, Megumin, Yunyun, and that bombshell Darkness are all over there... After getting swarmed by those stinking guys just now, I desperately need some feminine energy to balance out my soul."
Kōichi turned his head, just in time to meet Kazuma's gaze.
In that instant, the air seemed to freeze.
Kōichi and Kazuma's eyes met in midair. It was a resonance beyond words, beyond life and death, a wavelength shared only by top tier scumbags.
Kazuma's eyes said, "Hey, Kōichi, you get it, right?"
Kōichi's eyes answered, "Yeah, of course I do. If three people split a perk of this level, the chances of getting caught skyrocket."
Kazuma: "And Dust is way too loud. He'll definitely ruin everything."
Kōichi: "Exactly. A real infiltration team only needs elites, not some thug who only knows how to charge in headfirst."
At the same time, the two of them broke into matching depraved grins, the kind that could make a crying child shut up on the spot.
The atmosphere in the locker room turned strangely sinister.
Kazuma and Kōichi, two fighter jets among scumbags, tried to come up with every lame excuse imaginable to send Dust away. But as Axel's infamous rogue Adventurer, Dust's sharp, depraved instincts kept him firmly rooted in place.
"Save it, you two." Dust crossed his arms and looked at them with disdain as they made up garbage excuses about buying towels and checking the drain pipes. "Don't think I don't know what you're up to. Trying to ditch me at a time like this so you can have all the fun yourselves? Not happening! I, Dust, am a man willing to sell his soul for justice and perks!"
Kōichi and Kazuma exchanged another look, and sparks seemed to fly through the air.
Since the gentle approach wasn't working, they had no choice but to use that move. The intelligence lowering attack.
Kazuma suddenly wiped the smile from his face and put on an extremely solemn expression, tinged with jealousy and melancholy.
He walked to the window, gazed out at the glittering streets of Arcanletia, and let out a deep sigh.
"...Forget it, Kōichi. At this point, there's no hiding it from a master of romance on Dust's level."
Kōichi immediately understood. He showed a look of reluctant defeat, as if he hated to admit it but had no choice, and said gravely, "Yeah. We wanted to keep that information to ourselves, but in the end... only a true heartthrob is worthy of that legend."
Dust's ears perked up at once, and his eyes sharpened. "...Legend? What legend? Spit it out. What big news have you bastards been hiding from me?"
Kazuma turned around and stared hard at Dust's blond hair, his expression saying, You are the chosen one.
"Dust, have you heard of the Golden Holy Spring hidden in the deepest part of the Water Capital? They say a noblewoman lives there in seclusion, a beauty so stunning she hardly seems human. Not only does she possess wealth rivaling an entire nation, but... she also has a very famous quirk."
"A quirk?" Dust swallowed.
"She has a special fondness for blond, handsome men overflowing with wild charm." Kōichi added at exactly the right moment, his tone thick with envy. "Kazuma and I actually found out where it was a while ago. We were planning to try our luck, but after looking in the mirror just now... well, with our black hair and commoner faces, going there would only be asking to humiliate ourselves."
"Exactly." Kazuma patted Dust firmly on the shoulder with a sincere look. "But you're different, Dust. Look at that dazzling short blond hair. Look at that face with so much history behind it! If you go there now, that lonely noblewoman will definitely go crazy for you. This is your chance to change your fate! Will you go to a mixed bath packed with a brain dead Goddess and violent lunatics, or will you conquer an elegant, wealthy noblewoman...? The choice is yours."
Dust froze completely.
He subconsciously rubbed his chin. His eyes gradually shifted from suspicion to excitement, and finally to absolute confidence.
"...I knew it! I knew a golden man like me would shine sooner or later!" Dust clenched his fists, his whole body radiating a mysterious confidence. "Mixed baths? You can see those any day! But the favor of a noblewoman... that's the ultimate romance! Thanks, brothers! If I really marry into wealth, I'll never forget you two black haired background characters!"
With that, Dust didn't even take the time to dress properly. He threw on a jacket and shot out of the locker room like a whirlwind, still muttering, "Blond... handsome... wild... That's right, that's me, Dust-sama!"
As they watched Dust disappear down the hallway, the locker room fell into a deathly silence.
Three seconds later, Kōichi and Kazuma burst into truly vile laughter at the same time. They laughed so hard they couldn't straighten their backs, even slapping each other on the back.
"Pffthahahaha! He really believed it! He actually believed it!" Kazuma laughed until tears came out. "Golden Holy Spring? That's obviously the public sink the Axis Cult uses to wash their stinky socks!"
"And if I remember right, that so called noblewoman is the old lady who does laundry by that sink every day, the one with a temper bad enough to tear an Orc apart with her bare hands, right?" Kōichi wheezed with laughter. "Let's hope Dust's wild charm can survive that lady's washboard attack."
After the two of them had laughed enough, their eyes turned sharp and depraved once more.
"Alright, the competition has been eliminated. Next..." Kazuma pulled a long, thin bamboo tube, a simple makeshift periscope, from his clothes and fixed his gaze on the curtain leading to the mixed bath.
"...It's our home turf."
From the bench, Wiz watched the two men grinning like demons and couldn't help drawing back slightly. In a small voice, she muttered, "...I can't help feeling that when Kōichi-san and Kazuma-san are together, they turn into something very terrifying..."