Kazuma rolled his eyes and collapsed helplessly back onto the sofa.
"Kōichi, give it up. This zero-IQ Goddess is beyond saving. Thirty million Eris... Well, at least it was her own money~"
Kōichi looked at Aqua's innocent, idiotic expression that practically begged for praise, then glanced at the egg emitting a faint glow.
His instincts told him there was a ninety-nine percent chance it was a scam. Still, in a world this absurd, there was always the possibility that it might actually hatch into something...
"All right, Aqua."
Kōichi rubbed his temples and gave her an extremely dangerous yet gentle smile.
"Since you're so confident, I'll leave the egg entirely in your care. If it hatches into a chicken, or turns out to be nothing but a rock, don't come crying to me afterward. Understood?"
"Huh? Huhhh?! Kōichi, how dare you doubt a Goddess! That's so cruel! But it doesn't matter. Once my Winter Shogun hatches, you'll be begging me for mercy!"
Winter Shogun was, of course, the name she had chosen herself.
Aqua carefully carried her thirty-million-Eris treasure upstairs, swaying her hips as she went. She even babbled to the egg along the way.
"Be a good child and grow up quickly. Then you can help Mommy kick that degenerate Kōichi in the butt."
Watching her disappear upstairs, Kōichi and Kazuma let out deep sighs at the same time.
"Hey, Kōichi, do you really think that thing could hatch into a dragon?"
Kazuma shook the empty wine bottle and let out a drunken burp, his eyes unfocused.
"Hah. If that thing hatches into a dragon, I'll swallow the cabbage statue outside the Adventurers Guild whole."
Kōichi casually tossed his empty glass onto the table. The alcohol had gone to his head, leaving his thoughts slightly adrift.
"Still... thirty million Eris... Think of how much good wine that could have bought..."
The two sprawled across the sofa for a while, the burn of the alcohol lingering in their throats and feeding the restless heat inside them.
Kazuma shook the bottle to make sure the last drop had gone into his stomach, then suddenly rose to his feet, swaying slightly.
"We're out of booze! On a joyous night like this, how can we not have alcohol? Come on, Kōichi! While I'm still in a good mood, let's go to the tavern beside the Adventurers Guild and bring back a few more barrels!"
"Let's go! We're not coming back until we're completely wasted!"
Fueled by the alcohol, Kōichi slapped the table and sprang to his feet as well.
The two half-drunk winners slung their arms around each other's shoulders, staggered through the mansion doors, and plunged headfirst into Axel's quiet late-night streets, where countless absurdities still lay in wait.
The night breeze was cool against their faces and sobered them slightly, but the excitement from the alcohol only grew stronger.
They crossed the deserted market district. Just as they were about to take a shortcut through a secluded alley toward the busier streets, Kōichi's sharp senses detected a faint movement in the shadows ahead.
He grabbed Kazuma before he could burst into song. Driven by drunken curiosity, the two pressed themselves against the wall and cautiously peeked around the corner.
In a blind spot beyond the reach of the dim streetlamps, a man with short blond hair and light leather armor was crouching on the ground.
It was Dust, Axel's notorious delinquent Adventurer.
In the dark alley, Dust had his rear sticking into the air as he crouched behind a low wall like a giant golden hound. He held what appeared to be a cheap monocular and chuckled lecherously to himself, completely unaware of the glistening drool running from the corner of his mouth and dripping onto the ground.
Kazuma rubbed his drunken eyes and whispered.
"Hey, Kōichi, what's he doing? Is this some kind of advanced undercover mission?"
Kōichi burped, then, emboldened by the alcohol, casually slung an arm around Dust's shoulders.
"Yo, Dust! Why aren't you at the Succubus Parlor this late at night? What are you doing here, practicing some kind of toad technique?"
"Waaah!"
Dust nearly leaped out of his skin. Once he realized it was Kōichi and Kazuma, however, he reacted instantly, clamping one hand over each of their mouths as cold sweat poured down his face.
"Shh! Keep it down! Are you two bastards trying to get me killed?! Look over there! That's the real prize!"
With their mouths covered, Kōichi and Kazuma followed the direction of Dust's finger.
Across the street, beneath the moonlight, an elegant noblewoman with silky silver hair was walking slowly past.
She wore a perfectly tailored evening gown. Though they could only see her from behind, her cool, distant air and graceful curves, enhanced by the alcohol in their systems, instantly turned all three men's eyes into hearts.
"Whoa... Now that's quality..."
Kazuma pulled free of Dust's hand and stared in open admiration.
"Yeah. She looks even more refined than Darkness when she's behaving properly."
Kōichi offered his own tipsy assessment.
And so, an extremely bizarre scene appeared in an alley late at night in Axel.
Three of Axel's most famous adventurers lined up neatly along a low wall. Their heads turned in perfect unison as the noblewoman moved, while occasional low murmurs of admiration escaped their mouths.
"What exactly are you three doing in a place like this at this hour?"
An icy female voice sounded from behind them.
Kōichi and the others stiffly turned their heads.
Standing there was Sena, a female Prosecutor dressed in a perfectly pressed uniform. One hand rested on her hip, and her sharp gaze looked ready to execute them on the spot. A squad of guards stood behind her.
She gripped her briefcase so tightly that it creaked, while her glasses reflected a merciless gleam beneath the moonlight.
"Kōichi-san, Kazuma-san, and you, Dust, you repeat offender."
Sena pushed her glasses up the bridge of her nose, her voice dripping with disgust.
"As heroes of Axel, you have gathered accomplices to spy on a noble envoy from the Royal Capital in the middle of the night. It appears I need to reassess your threat levels and invite you to the interrogation room for a cup of strong tea to sober you up."
"W-wait! This is a misunderstanding! We were studying... studying the city's nighttime defenses!"
Dust was the first to jump up and try to flee.
"That's right! We were protecting that lady from being harassed by a pervert like Dust!"
Kazuma betrayed his companion without a moment's hesitation.
Kōichi, meanwhile, shook his head and flashed Sena a bright, drunken smile.
"Hey, Miss Prosecutor. Still out patrolling this late? Want to... hic... watch with us?"
The air froze for three full seconds after Kōichi's drunken invitation.
Prosecutor Sena's face shifted from livid to deathly cold. The fingers adjusting her glasses trembled slightly, not from fear, but from the immense effort it took to suppress the urge to draw her sword and cut him down on the spot.
"Ah... hahaha... Sena-san, I believe I was just possessed by some kind of evil alcohol spirit."
Kōichi shuddered violently. Under Sena's murderous glare, his muddled mind instantly cleared by more than half.
He straightened himself at lightning speed and drove his elbow hard into the still-dazed Kazuma beside him. His expression became solemn, brimming with justice and civic responsibility.