Today at school… I made the boy I love cry.
…
Looking back at it, I was totally at fault.
I shouldn't have overstepped like this…
But now, I have to find a way to be forgiven.
The best I could come up with was to ask Malik.
[
Lisa: Bro
Lisa: Pls answer I'll buy you kebab Friday
Malik: kebab?
Malik: rly?
Lisa: Yes so pls help me
Malik: with what?
Lisa: How do I get Johan to forgive me pls I need to know asap
Malik: Why are you asking this
Malik: You should just apologize to him
I knew he'd say this…
But with what I said, there's no way he would accept a half-assed apology.
I made him cry!
Malik: There's a park near his place, tell him to meet up there.
Lisa: that's it?
Malik: That's the place we go whenever we fight, that's where we settle things
Lisa: alright alright I get it thanks Malik
Malik: No problem, by the way I'll take the large formula so prepare my 20 euros in advance
Lisa: You fucker!
]
…
Ping
Lisa sent me a message.
I knew she would. She's kind after all… I'm sure she didn't mean to hurt me.
I'm not angry at her.
I'm angry at myself… because I didn't think I was still this sensitive about the past.
"Urgh… I'd rather not remember…"
I took my phone and read the text Lisa sent me.
[
Lisa: The park next to your place, let's meet up there. We need to talk. I'll be there soon, so wait for me.
]
"Haha… she really was worried after all."
I'm glad she is. I wanted to talk to her too.
Even though she shouted at me… not everything she said was false.
I'll take this opportunity to talk more about me.
[
Johan: Ok
]
…
I said that I wanted to talk to her…
but now I'm nervous.
Lisa could arrive at any time…
and for now, I'm just sitting on a bench waiting for her.
Phew…
"It's cold out there…" I said.
"Hey!"
A voice came from behind me.
"It's you, Lisa…"
"Yeah. I think you know why I called you here."
she said while sitting next to me
"Lisa, you know it wasn't your fault if I cried at school today."
"Johan, I came here to apologize—you don't have to comfort me when I was in the wrong."
"Still… normally that's not really something to cry over, so I thought you must have been confused back there."
"What? No. Well… actually yes. But Malik is right, I shouldn't have said any of this."
sigh
"You know… sometimes I think I should mind my own business…"
"No. I think you're right. It's about time that I tell you about myself."
"Alright… you go first."
I took a pause.
Maybe I was still afraid of how she could react…
But then I started speaking.
"You know… I used to be bullied at school. It was in 5th grade. At that time, I hadn't met Malik yet… and all I had was Laura, my cousin."
She remained silent.
I could tell she was focusing.
"Well… I don't want to get into details, but it was pretty aggressive bullying. They kept mocking me for being alone, calling me names, and spreading rumors about me doing this to seek attention."
"And one day… I had enough of them."
"So I beat them all up."
I paused again.
"…The thing is… ever since I was young, I was diagnosed with a disorder."
"Whenever I got mad… I knew no limits…"
"I punched a kid so badly that he didn't move anymore… and all the kids around us were terrified."
"That's when I met Malik for the first time."
"He was the class president at that time, and when he saw us fighting, he rushed over to separate us."
I glanced at Lisa.
sigh
"Well… he probably separated me from them, and not the other way around."
"I remember that day very clearly. Malik was not playing around with his class prez duty, haha!"
"But then how did you and Malik become friends if you met in those conditions?" asked Lisa.
"Well… me and my cousin were in the same class as Malik. When she came back from the restroom, she rushed over to help him."
"I only had the time to hit Malik once, but then…"
"Then?"
"Laura slapped the shit out of me, haha."
"Usually Laura is very kind, she doesn't even swear… so this took me off guard."
"Really? It didn't seem like that."
"Anyways… me, the kids I beat up, Malik, and Laura ended up in the principal's office."
"While those kids accused me of beating them without any reason… I couldn't defend myself."
"They were all messed up, while I didn't even have a single scratch."
"I also had very bad grades, so the principal probably saw me as a troublemaker."
"And what did Malik say?" she asked.
"Malik stayed silent."
"When I asked him later, he said that he didn't know the context, so he preferred to stay neutral."
"He said that? That's oddly honorable." she said jokingly.
"…Actually, Laura was the one who helped me."
"At that time, I was angry at her because I thought she ignored the bullying I was enduring."
"But it turns out that all this time… she was collecting proof."
"Testimonies… physical evidence… she even had a few pictures!"
"That must've been hard for her. Your cousin is really brave."
"Yeah… thanks to her, I didn't get expelled."
"And my parents successfully demanded the transfer of the kids who bullied me."
I didn't have anything more to say.
So I watched the sun setting.
It was almost time for me to head back home.
But at that moment…
I felt a soft hand touching mine.
I knew it was Lisa's.
But it still surprised me.
"You know, Johan… I didn't mean to call you an attention grabber and all of that."
"I wasn't in my right mind."
"If you ever need anything from me… I'll gladly do it as an apology."
She looked me in the eyes.
That determined stare…
Whenever she has it, you can tell she means everything she says.
Her brown hair was shining in the sunlight.
"I want you to stay by my side until I have to go back."
"Haha… alright. I'll do that."
We talked a lot.
About our pasts.
About Malik.
About our families.
It was really fun.
…
"Oh, my mom sent me a message… I think I'll have to head out first," said Lisa.
"That's alright. I was just about to leave anyway."
"I had fun today, Johan."
"It looks like you took my advice last time… because you were smiling like crazy!" she said teasingly.
"Huh… was I?"
"Haha, don't worry."
"You can smile all you want around me."
"I already told you that I found your smile pretty."
"O-oh… ok."
I didn't have much to reply.
But I felt happy.
It was probably the first time a girl said this to me.
"W-well… it's pretty late. Should I walk you home?"
"Walk me home? Sure, M. Vanderis~ how gentle of you!" she said jokingly.
We walked together.
"H-hey, I'm serious about this, so stop mocking me!"
"Don't worry, Johan, I'm only joking! Let's go home now!" She said
She walked proudly in front of me…
pointing the direction.
At that moment…
I felt like I got back something I had lost a long time ago.
It felt… soothing.
…
After walking Lisa to her place, she gave me a gift.
A silver bracelet.
She said it brings good fortune.
I don't really believe in its effect, but I'll never take it off.
I walked through the front door.
My parents were already eating in the living room.
"Oh Johan, there you are."
"It took you longer than you told me it would."
"Your plate is in the kitchen," my mom said.
As I went to the kitchen…
my dad leaned toward my mom.
whispers
"Hey Anissa… who do you think it was?"
"What? He told me he went to see a friend. Was it not Malik?"
"Oh… so you don't know?"
When I came out…
my mom seemed perplexed.
"Son… come and sit there."
I sat in the chair in front of her.
She looked even more puzzled.
"So… how did it go?" she said
"You went to see Malik, right? Did you two fight again?" she added
"I didn't go to see Malik, mom."
"It was a girl who called me there."
My dad had a big smile.
Almost like he was waiting for my mom's reaction.
Drops her glass of water
"A-a girl…?"
Ah…
This is going to be a hell of a thing to explain.