My name is Xiao Yu, twenty years old. My profession? A professional shut-in. Without a job, I live a life so destitute that I eat only once a day. Malnutrition makes me feel like I'm walking on clouds, and my eyes have long since turned into those of a "dead fish"—dull, soulless, and glazed over.
But today, those dead eyes burned with an unholy light. For the sake of a free Orleans chicken leg from the grand opening downstairs, I summoned a lifetime's worth of willpower to stand in the scorching sun for three long hours.
Back in my dim dorm room, I stared at the treasure on my desk. It was glistening with red oil, the skin perfectly crispy. To me, this wasn't just food; it was the final stand of my dignity.
"Hehe, Xiao Yu, I'll take this leg—" My roommate's greasy hand lunged toward it like a hungry wolf.
Move, damn it! I screamed internally. But my unathletic body was a joke; my reaction was as slow as a snail. Just as my roommate's laughter began and my heart started to sink, the floor beneath us suddenly shattered.
A blinding golden magic circle erupted, its terrifying suction swallowing me whole in an instant. As I felt myself falling, the energy of ten thousand high-grade mana crystals flooded into my starving body like a tidal wave.
My only final thought as the world vanished was: "D*mn it! I forgot to grab my chicken leg!"
[System Notification: Hero Vessel Detected... Loading Full Attribute Enhancement...] [Warning! System attempting to identify Host attributes... Identification Failed!] [Scanning Results: Stamina: 3. Mana: 0. All other stats: 0! (System Note: Stop scrolling, it's all zeros.)] [Evaluation: "Extreme Defective Product." Even a newborn Slime has three times your Stamina. Your attribute panel is cleaner than a washed face. Recommendation: Prepare your grave early.]
BOOM—!
[Warning! Physical strength insufficient to carry "Power Enhancement." Forced loading will result in body collapse!] [Warning! Mana is 0. Cannot carry "Mana Enhancement." Forced loading will result in spontaneous combustion!]
In that microsecond of void, Xiao Yu felt his brain was about to explode. The world-shattering energy circled inside him but found nothing but "tofu-dregs construction"—no muscles, no mana, nowhere to settle.
Just as the energy was about to blow him apart, the system detected the only burning obsession in the depths of Xiao Yu's soul: "My free chicken leg!"
[Due to Host's extreme incompetence, the System initiates a backup plan:] [Aborting all physical enhancements! Compressing all overflowing energy into the "Nervous System" and "Visual Center"!]
Click.
The blurry world suddenly changed in Xiao Yu's eyes. His roommate's distorted, greedy face froze in mid-air. A drop of golden oil about to fall from the chicken leg hung like a bead of amber.
[Evolution Successful: Obtained Causal-level Nerve Reflexes and God-Perspective Dynamic Vision.] [Skill Obtained: Slideshow Mode (Slow Motion).] [Note: Since your hardware (body) cannot support such advanced software, activating this mode will rapidly drain your stamina.]
In that frozen "Slideshow World," out of a pure freeloader's instinct, Xiao Yu reached out and grabbed the stationary chicken leg.
...
The golden light faded. The pungent scent of sandalwood hit his nose.
Xiao Yu was frozen in a distorted lunging posture, gripping the chicken leg tightly. The scene had shifted from a messy dorm to a magnificent temple.
Twelve white-robed priests knelt around him, weeping with joy. "He has descended! The Supreme Hero from the ancient prophecy!"
Xiao Yu, expressionless, began to wolf down the chicken leg. He was starving. Three bites later, he finished the leg and looked at the old men with dead-fish eyes. "Where am I? I'm hungry. And tired."
Silence. Dead silence.
The priests watched in shock as he ate. With trembling hands, the High Priest pressed an appraisal crystal against Xiao Yu's forehead.
Buzz! A semi-transparent attribute panel exploded in the air:
Name: Xiao Yu Level: 1 Attributes: Stamina 3, Mana 0 Evaluation: Highly recommended to arrange your funeral immediately.
Thud. The High Priest fell to his knees in despair. "Stamina 3... even a normal slime has 10! Your Majesty, we summoned a loser who can't even kick a slime!"
"A loser? He's worse than a loser!"
King Roland slammed his fist on the throne, shaking with rage. "For this Hero Summoning, I spent ten years of the national treasury! Ten thousand high-grade mana crystals! I even threw the national treasure into the array... and in return, you bring me back this defective brat who only knows how to chew a chicken leg?!"
The King's heart was bleeding. Those ten thousand crystals could have bought a small country!
"Get out! Get out of my sight right now!" The High Priest frantically asked Xiao Yu if he had any special skills. Xiao Yu just muttered "No," even as the system popped up notifications about God-Perspective and Instant Reflexes.
King Roland drew his golden sword and hacked the wooden table into splinters. "Strip him of all titles! Exile him to the most remote, desolate city where even slimes refuse to sh*t—Naviga! Let him rot there. Don't let him pollute the air of my capital!"
"Your Majesty is wise!" The officials wiped their sweat. "Guards! Take this trash to the prison carriage for Naviga!"
A squad of guards surrounded Xiao Yu, dragging him like a dead pig. Just then, Xiao Yu's dead-fish eyes spotted a jade plate beside the King's throne. On it lay a glowing purple fruit—the Divine Fruit reserved for the King.
"I'm being exiled anyway. A little compensation isn't too much, right?"
In that moment, a spark of light flashed in the depths of Xiao Yu's dull eyes.
[Slow Motion Mode—Activated!]
The world became a series of frames. The guards' mouths were frozen open mid-insult; the King was turning away, clutching his chest.
Xiao Yu casually slipped out of the guards' stiff hands. He walked to the throne and, like swiping a free lighter from an internet cafe, he pocketed the Divine Fruit.
Grab. Turn. Return.
The entire movement was so fast it didn't even stir the air. When the slow motion ended, the guards only felt their hands slip for a second before they continued dragging him out.
BANG! The temple doors slammed shut.
Inside, King Roland collapsed onto his throne. "Quick... help me up. I need the fruit to calm my heart. That trash nearly killed me with rage. I need the 'Holy Aurora Fruit' to survive..."
The official scrambled to the jade plate. But the next second, a scream like a dying pig echoed through the temple:
"Your... Your Majesty!!! It's gone!! The fruit is gone!!!"
The King froze. He looked down. The jade plate was empty. Not even a peel was left.
"Gone? Right under my nose?!" The King's eyes nearly popped out. His face turned from purple to black. "THIEVES! ASSASSINS! Who stole my national treasure?! Search everyone!!"
The old priest trembled. "Your Majesty, the temple was heavily guarded. Besides us, there was only... only that chicken-eating loser. But he can't even walk straight, how could he..."
"Don't mention that Stamina 3 trash to me!" The King swung his sword wildly. "If that loser could steal from under my nose, I'd eat this jade plate! This was a master thief! A foreign conspiracy! SEARCH THE CITY!!"
While the temple was in chaos, Xiao Yu was already sitting in the shadows near the city wall.
He pulled the purple fruit from his rumpled pajamas and took a loud, crunchy bite.
"Taste is okay. Not as filling as the chicken leg, though."
Listening to the King's distant, murderous roars, Xiao Yu gave a quiet burp.
"Stamina might only be 3, but as long as I move fast enough... this world is just a giant buffet, isn't it?"