"Hey guys. Aren't you all seniors? Don't you need more credits? I think you're short on them. Unlike me who isn't a slave to credits yet, you guys need to bow down to professors."
Whether they knew my inner thoughts or not, the protagonist Quartet—no, the Four Heavenly Kings who were rejected by Selena—sat across from me, sipping their coffee.
All four of them. Lined up like some judgment panel.
...Wait. Shouldn't at least one or two of them be sitting next to me?
With all four of you sitting over there, this picture looks awkward, you idiots.
It's not like we're having a 4:1 group date.
And I'm not the heroine either.
And just because Selena is your sister doesn't mean this is some future brother-in-law interview!
"Long time no see, Leon."
"Yeah, it's been a while. Oh, should I call you senior?"
"Don't bother. Student ID number comes before academic year."
"Isn't academic year first?"
"ID number comes first, idiot."
"I think academic year should be first."
"It's ID number."
"..."
Why are these jerks ignoring the person sitting in front of them and arguing among themselves?
I came here expecting some normal conversation, maybe casual catching up—but instead, they're bickering like children fighting over who gets the last cookie.
With four of them acting like this, it feels like Hydra having an identity crisis.
Oh, Cerberus has three heads. Let's call them Hydra then.
One head says ID number, another says academic year, another complains, and the last one just stares blankly—yet together they form one chaotic creature.
In front of me sit four men destined to be the male leads of this novel…
And somehow they look more like a dysfunctional multi-headed monster than the future elite of the Empire.
"Anyways, Leon."
Our ID-number-first advocate Schlieffen changes the subject.
"Don't change the subject. Why do you think ID number comes before academic year, Schlieffen?"
Wilhelm apparently still can't agree with Schlieffen's claim.
He keeps grabbing onto the tail end of the conversation, making it impossible to move forward.
Meanwhile, Alexander subtly sides with Schlieffen, wondering if academic year might come first.
And Joachim acts as the judge, saying, "Interesting. Keep arguing."
He even looks amused, like he's watching a circus rather than a discussion.
I want to ask the author why these idiots became the male protagonists in this romance fantasy novel.
...Oh, I see. Because they have handsome faces. Right, I admit it.
But it would have been better if their brains were as good as their looks.
"Guys. Can we, like, get to the point quickly?"
Finally, unable to bear it anymore, I prod them, and Joachim, who was playing judge, restrains the other Hydra heads.
Thank you, Joachim. You really are the most useful head…!
"Sorry, Leon. We got carried away."
"Fine, whatever. So, why are you fourth-year seniors, who should be precious with your time, holding me, a first-year, hostage?"
After being held captive by these guys for 10 minutes, I finally hear the reason.
Ten minutes of chaos. Ten minutes of noise. Ten minutes of pure mental torture.
"Actually..."
"The thing is..."
"You know, Selena..."
"We're curious..."
"..."
And there they go again, all four talking at once.
Are you guys really Hydra?
If one more head grows, I'm running.
"Please. Just one of you, summarize it... or not."
I already know I'm going to regret opening my mouth.
Damn these guys. As soon as I ask for one representative, they immediately start eyeing each other suspiciously.
Their gazes bounce around like criminals deciding who will take the blame.
The battle for bodily control between heads 1 through 4 is about to begin!
I can practically hear dramatic battle music.
Stop them! If this continues, I'll definitely be stuck here for another hour!
"Schlieffen."
I point to head number 1. No particular reason. He's just the leftmost from my perspective.
May the gods forgive me for choosing at random.
"You talk. Summarize it. Short and clear."
"Hmm. As expected of someone who's done military service."
"Why bring up military service... wait. How do you know I served?"
I narrow my eyes. Did someone snitch? Did rumors already spread?
"I just met with the teaching assistant earlier. Anyway, very soldier-like. Short and clear. Excellent attitude. A man should pursue extreme practicality in simplicity..."
He starts rambling.
Of course. The one I pick ends up being the least concise.
"Enough. Wilhelm. You talk."
Head number 1 is disqualified for adding unnecessary explanations.
Now, head number 2. Your turn!
Please, for the love of the Empire, be normal.
Meanwhile, Wilhelm clears his throat as if he wants to be disqualified too.
He's acting way too dramatic for someone who's just standing there.
"So we're curious about you."
"Curious about what?"
I narrow my eyes, already sensing trouble.
"How you can talk so casually with Selena despite being rejected by her."
"..."
That really hurt just now.
It feels like he loaded a crossbow and fired straight at my chest.
This is practically self-defense even if I shot them.
Why bring up that woman's name at this timing, you jerks!
"We still can't even properly greet Selena."
"Huh?"
What are they talking about now?
"If we see her from afar, we immediately turn and run away."
"What?"
They're serious too—their faces are dead pale just remembering it.
"Even though it's been up to two years since we were rejected... the nightmare still haunts us."
"Oh boy."
Two years? They're still traumatized?
What kind of collective psychological damage did Selena inflict?
"But today, by chance, we saw you comfortably talking with Selena."
"..."
Comfortably?
My entire soul was sweating bullets during that conversation.
"So we're curious. We want to know. How can you do that?"
Their eyes shine with a weird mixture of admiration, desperation, and pure foolishness.
It's like I've suddenly become some legendary warrior who conquered fear itself—
when in reality, I'm barely holding myself together every time Selena looks at me.
If only they knew the truth…
I'm not brave.
I'm just tired.
....But still now I know the reason why Selena is still single.