Third month of pregnancy and I had officially become a professional couch potato.
Regulus wouldn't let me walk more than ten steps without carrying me. I swear I was gaining weight faster than the palace budget.
Then one night I woke up to this weird "rrrrrip… rrrrip" sound.
Bed was empty. Husband missing.
I dragged myself out in my robe, followed the noise to the nursery next door.
Door cracked open, warm night-light glowing.
I peeked through the gap and almost died.
There he was, the Lycan King, the guy who could rip dragons in half, wearing MY pink strawberry maternity nightie (the one with cartoon berries and a giant bow), kneeling on the carpet.
Two life-size baby dolls in front of him.
He had a diaper in one hand, bottle in the other, sweating bullets and muttering like a lunatic.
"Okay… unstick both sides first… lift the butt… DO NOT let poop touch the front… shit—"
The diaper fell on the floor.
He panicked, snatched it up, kept talking to himself.
"No no no, tutorial said wipe first… where's the damn baby powder?!"
I couldn't hold it. A loud snort escaped.
He froze. Turned slowly. Saw me leaning against the doorframe crying from laughter.
"How long have you been standing there?!"
"Long enough to see my husband in my nightie changing fake babies."
His face went nuclear red. "I—I'm practicing! Dragon-phoenix twins poop at the same time, I need muscle memory!"
I wheezed. "Why are you wearing MY nightie?!"
He looked down at the tiny strawberry fabric stretched to its absolute limit across his chest, looking like it was one deep breath from exploding.
"…Internet said use real-life proportions… yours was the only thing that fit the dolls…"
I lost it completely.
Then two tiny voices from the hallway:
"Daddy what are you doing?"
"He's wearing Mommy's dress!"
Aiden and Aurora, hugging their pillows, staring like they'd discovered a new species.
Regulus just… died.
He squatted down, covered his face with both hands.
"Don't look at me… I have no dignity left…"
The twins charged in and climbed him like a jungle gym.
"Daddy so cute!"
"We wanna wear too!"
I was on the floor laughing so hard my stomach hurt, phone out snapping pics like paparazzi.
"These are going straight to the royal group chat. Caption: Lycan King Strawberry Nightie Diaper Training LIVE."
He looked up with actual tears. "Baby… mercy…"
I smirked. "Call me Your Majesty first."
"Your Majesty have mercy on this idiot!!!!"
The twins echoed: "Your Majesty have mercy!"
I rolled on the carpet crying.
Of course it leaked.
By breakfast the royal group chat was pure chaos.
[Head Guard]: Morning Your Majesty, strawberry nightie pics when? (attached 20 blurry shots)
[Head Chef]: Your Majesty, shall we prepare ten different bottles for your training today?
[Elder Council]: …I have lived 800 years and never thought I'd see the day
Regulus muted the chat with the darkest face known to mankind, then pinned me to the bed, growling.
"This is your fault."
I blinked innocently. "I did nothing~"
He bit my neck. "Tonight you're paying for this."
"But the doctor said first trimester—"
"I've been a saint for weeks."
Guess who didn't stay a saint.
Afterward he held me close, hand gently rubbing my belly, voice all soft again.
"Thank you for letting me become this ridiculous."
I poked his chest. "Ridiculous what?"
He smiled like the biggest idiot alive.
"The happiest idiot in the world."
I buried my face in his neck.
Best decision of my life?
Not pushing him away in that bar three years ago.