okay so four months pregnant and my hormones are literally on crack
one minute i'm fine next minute i'm sobbing because the clouds look judgmental or whatever
My mind keeps wandering, sometimes I even wonder if I have depression. What should I do if that's the case? Maybe having a strong support system by my side is the solution. Isn't it him? A slight smile involuntarily crept onto my face...
regulus just hands me nutella and runs at this point
What is he afraid of? Does he think I'm ugly with my big belly? That awful guy, I'm carrying his child! Sometimes men are just so annoying... Maybe I'm overthinking it.
so OF COURSE the old elder dinosaurs pick this exact week to completely lose their marbles
i'm in the garden destroying my third watermelon (judge me idc) when butler comes running like there's a fire
"your majesty the eastern council is doing some super creepy blood cleansing ritual in the crypt saying they gotta purify impure royal blood"
watermelon goes splat
regulus shows up with ice cream, hears that, spoon bends like pretzel
me: take me there i wanna see this bullshit
we storm the crypt like angry avocado and her murder husband
place looks like hot topic had a stroke, black candles everywhere, blood symbols, 15 grandpa raisins in hoods chanting latin or some dead language around a glowing circle
baldwin (archibald's uglier brother) holding a dagger over a bowl that smells like dead rat and regret
they see us, almost shit bricks, then try to play holy
baldwin with that fake sweet voice: "we're only praying for the empire's future—"
that's when my uterus decided it was boss time
hot silver rage explosion from my belly, roof literally rips off, moonlight comes down like god's flashlight and yeets every elder across the room
one guy's beard on fire, another's dentures flying, beautiful chaos
i look at my hands, glowing moon tattoos crawling up my arms like they're alive
regulus jaw on floor "babe you just went full moon goddess???"
i felt like i could suplex a dragon
walked up to baldwin while he was crawling away crying
"you were gonna kill my babies?"
he starts the mercy crap
i flick wrist
he flies, smashes wall, leaves perfect baldwin shaped hole
the rest start bawling
i was on demon time
"you beard guy kneel"
boom knees shatter stone
"you tongue out mongrel guy"
tongue comes out, i tie it in knot, he looks like dying lizard
five minutes fifteen elders kissing dirt, robes ripped, some actually peed
twins snuck in (of course) cheering "mommy OP!! bad grandpas boom!!"
i wave hand, whole ritual circle turns to glitter dust
then power just poof gone
i yawn "feet hurt carry me home"
regulus scoops me up still staring like i'm a walking miracle
"you just solo'd the elder council..."
"yup ice cream now"
he laughed the whole way back kissing my forehead like maniac
that night he treated me like actual goddess (balcony got destroyed again oops)
next morning every elder sent resignation and swore they'd worship me and the "divine fetuses" forever
i ate grapes in bed while regulus gave foot rub and called me "my terrifying goddess"
and honestly? i could get used to this