In order not to drag things out any longer than necessary, I went to find Cao JingShen to exchange the book as soon as class ended.
"Hey, you damn fatty, did you bring the book?" I asked, chopping him on the head the moment I reached him.
"Ah—!" Cao JingShen opened his mouth wide like a dehydrated frog. Then he immediately dropped to his knees in front of me.
"Leader! Th-this disciple forgot to bring it! I deserve death!"(He used to call me 'boss,' but honestly our interactions are more like I'm the sect leader and he's the disciple.)
The whole class stared.
"You useless piece of trash. What's even the point of keeping you around?"
Without realizing it, even I had been infected by his ridiculous "martial sect" speech pattern. I'd started talking like some old-school clan leader.
Since Colorful Classroom wasn't wrapped in anything, I couldn't just carry it openly. Same as last time, I hid the adult manga inside my sports jacket. I was about to slip it out and secretly hand it over so he could bring it home to Director Cao, but he saw me holding my stomach and instantly guessed I had the book.
"Leader Haruya, if you feel it's inconvenient to carry the secret martial arts manual around, you can entrust it to this disciple for safekeeping."
Secret martial arts manual my ass! The only thing you'd learn from this is the "Edo 48 Techniques." Aside from losing all your dignity, the only real skill you'd get is picking up soap in prison.
"I was sitting here so bored. Now that I've received this secret manual, I can carefully study it in class… Jie Jie Jie Jie…"
I really wanted to slap him across the face with this H-manga.
Do you think you haven't caused me enough trouble? If a teacher catches you with it in class, I'll be the one drowning in consequences. Just thinking about it makes my head hurt.
No way. I can't give him the book.
Thinking this over, I left the classroom and walked into the hallway. Should I try delivering it to Director Cao's house during the ten-minute break? That'd prove our online store's sincerity, but after wasting so much time, I probably didn't have enough minutes left.
Smacking my lips, I turned a corner—and ran right into our class leader, Shu Sha.
She looked at me like she'd just stepped in something disgusting.
I didn't want trouble, so I tightened my grip on the manga hidden at my waistband and tried to slip past her into the classroom.
"Haruya—stop!"
"Wh-what?"
I tried to speed up, but she flicked her hair aside and cut me off, blocking the doorway like she was some sort of moral bouncer.
"You can't even talk straight. Must've done something guilty, right?" She crossed her arms like a judge ready to deliver a verdict.
"Stop joking! I walk straight and stand straight!"(Which wasn't exactly true, since I had an H-manga stuffed in my clothes.)
"What are you hiding near your stomach?" Her sharp eyes sliced straight through me.
"N-nothing! I'm holding it because my stomach hurts!"
"It's an expandable baton, isn't it? Planning to fight again?" Her tone suddenly became the annoyed-teacher variety. "School rules forbid carrying weapons! Polyester fiber or stainless steel, hand it over! I'm confiscating it!"
Wow, class leader, you're pretty professional! Not only do you know what an expandable baton is, you even know the two main models. How many of these have you confiscated already? Do you have a whole stash somewhere? Planning to donate them to the mafia?
Sure, delinquents like expandable batons. But not me.
I still remember the old boss of 28th Middle School. When he graduated, he gave me a pile of weapons he'd collected (including a baton). He even patted my shoulder and said, "Xiao Ye Zi—well, in your case, Haruya—it's up to you to keep 28th Middle safe now!"All I could do was stare blankly. I shoved everything under my bed and never touched it again.
"You're such an annoying woman!"
Trying to act firm, I slowly pushed the manga downward from my stomach.
She watched me shifting it lower and lower. Yes. I had successfully hidden it in my crotch.
I screamed internally at the sheer humiliation.
Damn it, being in business these days is rough. The thing was practically touching my boxers now.
Hopefully Director Cao wouldn't mistake this for some gross "limited edition original flavor" delivery.
I had to hold my legs slightly together to keep it from slipping further down, but at least this way, even if Shu Sha searched my upper body, she definitely wouldn't dare reach into my pants, right?
Straightening my back, I spread my arms. "See? Nothing. You're mistaken."
Shu Sha clearly realized she'd been tricked.
So what? This was the hallway. What could she do? If she dared try pulling off my pants in public, well… try it.
I didn't know why, but something about her justice-obsessed personality made me want to act even more delinquent.
I put my hands in my pockets and secretly tightened the elastic of my pants, just in case she really did something crazy.
She stared straight at my pants.
Shit. Is she actually planning a suicide attack? A pants-removal inspection!?
If she really did it, I'd fall straight to the bottom of the school's food chain. I'd have to hand my "boss" position to Ren XiaoQin, resign, and go help my dad sell adult goods for the rest of my miserable life.
Cao JingShen might even tell me to get revenge: a tooth for a tooth. Lift her skirt in summer—no, don't even wait, just yank down her sports pants and humiliate her in front of the entire school.
That's how degenerates survive: make sure the other person loses more face than you.
But I didn't want to do that. First, I'm not interested in the class leader's underwear. Second, if I really did that… I have no idea what Xiao Qin would do to me.
Even though I started morning exercises again, I don't think my strength has improved enough to fight the "Little Tyrant" Ren XiaoQin. I'd probably die.
Just thinking about that made Shu Sha's intense stare even scarier.
I looked down, checking for anything suspicious. After pushing the manga down into that extremely indecent place, my crotch looked full and bulging.
And then—I spotted something white peeking out of my left pocket. Just a little corner. Some kind of stiff paper?
Wait… why does this look familiar—
Ah!!
It was the photoshopped nude picture Cao JingShen made!
Crap! I forgot to burn it last night with everything happening!
My panic must have been obvious because Shu Sha's eyes narrowed immediately.
She lunged forward. I still had both hands in my pockets, one of them clamping desperately onto my pants elastic.
Priorities: pants first!
Her hair brushed past my face, blocking my vision. By the time I looked again, she'd already snatched the photo. She held it between her fingers, lifting it toward her face.
I was done.
All of Cao JingShen's photoshopped images were insane and absolutely unviewable. I didn't even know which girl was on this one!
His photoshop skills were so ridiculous that she probably wouldn't notice it was edited at first glance.
What would she think if she believed I carried a nude photo of a female classmate around?
Probably go home, get her hunting rifle, and blast me into a new dimension.
The moment she looked at the photo, her face went bright red.
Of course it did—every pose those adult actresses take is blush-inducing!
Even if I wanted to grab it back, it was too late.
I still had to protect the manga in my crotch. Losing both the manga and the photo would be a catastrophic double loss.
I had to speak first.
"I—I picked that photo up on the playground! I was planning to burn it!"
Shu Sha's dark eyes swept over the photo, then back to my desperate expression.
"…Why burn it?" she asked quietly.
Huh? What kind of question is that?No matter whose nude photo it was—it might even be hers—burning it was obviously the sensible thing!
"Because… if a guy gets this kind of photo, he might do something bad with it…" I answered cautiously.
"And what kind of bad thing?" she pressed, face even redder.
Oh, come on! Don't act innocent! You deal with your troublesome little brother all the time. You should know exactly what guys do with nude photos!
Of course it's for rubbing one out, damn it!
I hinted, impatiently, "It's… that kind of thing. Y'know."
Her face got even redder. A seriously ominous sign.
"D-don't tell me this photo can be used to… rub… rub one out?" she stammered.
I can't believe YOU said it first! Aren't you supposed to kick me by now? Scream? Accuse me of being a pervert?
It was weird she wasn't exploding immediately.
I decided to probe further.
"Hehehe… with a tempting photo like this, any guy who sees it would definitely think of rubbing one out."
Her expression twisted in equal parts disbelief and horror.
I doubled down. "Honestly, the whole reason this photo exists is for rubbing one out!"
At this point, what else was there to lose?
Her hand trembled as she held the photo. She looked like she was fighting an internal war.
Any moment now she'd kick me. I braced myself to dodge. There are over a thousand ways to die; I'm not dying from my balls getting ruptured.
But then—
Instead of kicking, she simply flipped the photo around and held it up to me.
"Haruya, look at this and repeat what you just said."
It was… the class leader.
But fully clothed.
Not photoshopped.
It was the original photo of her laughing on a mountaintop. Healthy, cheerful, totally normal.
My god—Eunuch Cao, you idiot! You printed the wrong one! Why would you print the source photo instead of the edited one!?
All that stuff I said earlier—that the picture was "tempting," "enough to make any guy rub one out," "sole purpose is for rubbing one out"—wasn't describing some adult actress.
It was describing the class leader herself.
This misunderstanding was so bad I almost wished it had been a nude photo.
Now Shu Sha would think I carried her photo around. That she was tempting. That I'd been… using her photo.
Eunuch Cao, you traitor! I'll choke you someday!
Shu Sha took in my mortified expression, my complete lack of explanation, and—shockingly—didn't attack.
"This photo," she said, expression unreadable, "is confiscated."
She slipped it into her pocket, turned, and walked back into class. Her long hair lifted for a moment, shining in the sun.
Her steps looked lighter than usual, though it was probably just my imagination.
Meanwhile, I still had a porn manga stuffed in my crotch.
Someone please just kill me.