I handed Colorful Classroom over to Cao Jingshen right before the bell rang. He accepted it with a grin and didn't press me for details.
Whatever. If he wants to risk reading it during class, that's his problem, not mine.
"You can bring back whatever you want to return another day," I told him.
"This humble disciple obeys his master!" he replied with a theatrical bow.
The H-manga was handed over, the incriminating photo had been confiscated by Shu Sha, and at last my heart could relax.
I still didn't understand her final reaction, but at least she wasn't hovering over me anymore. Good enough.
The three morning classes passed quickly, and I remembered I had promised Xiao Qin I'd eat lunch with her today.
A promise is a promise. And even if it wasn't… well, Xiao Qin wouldn't let me slip away that easily.
"Haruya, today's our lunch—"
I could already hear her trying to call it a "lunch date," so I cut her off immediately. "I'll eat lunch with you! But we're only going to the cafeteria. Nowhere else!"
"I'm already happy with the cafeteria, hehe…"
At noon sharp, the cafeteria was packed—absolute torture for normal people.
But the moment I stepped inside, the crowd parted on its own, like Moses splitting the Red Sea in The Prince of Egypt. Students already lined up stepped aside and let me cut right in.
I get why they don't want to stand next to me, and honestly, having my own personal Red Sea passage isn't bad.
But… I actually hate cutting in line. Once, when a girl nervously stepped aside to let me in front, I tried to warn her not to do that. She burst into tears before I even got a full sentence out.
"I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I was wrong!" she kept sobbing.
Wrong about what, exactly? If you're this timid, you're practically encouraging villains! All I wanted to say was, "You don't have to move. I'll just line up behind you."
A few first-year boys rushed over to protect her. "Big brother Haruya, she's our class rep! She's a good person! Please forgive her!"
Forgive?? What do I look like to you people? I train every day to take down the Little Tyrant, not to bully fragile class reps!
After that, I gave up trying to explain myself.
Xiao Qin happily followed me through the perfectly empty passage, enjoying not being squeezed or jostled.
"Haruya, you're amazing!" she said, eyes sparkling.
Amazing my ass! I hate being treated like some dangerous creature! When I played Dungeons & Dragons with my dad, the alignment test said I was lawful good, okay?
You are the one people should be terrified of!
The lunch lady still had her usual stone-cold expression.
I don't understand it—students fear me, some teachers flinch at the sight of me, but cafeteria ladies? Completely immune.
Cao Jingshen once told me that if someone offends the cafeteria staff, they'll retaliate by blowing their nose or flicking earwax into the food.
Meaning: to punish one person, they'd contaminate everyone's meal.
Just thinking about it made me shiver.
Since no one dared stand in front of me, we got our food fast.
Xiao Qin moved just as quickly.
I chose a seat near the window—fewer neighbors, fewer people staring at me like I'm about to throw a table.
Xiao Qin sat across from me.
"Haruya, you're not getting a Coke today?" she asked with a suspiciously hopeful tone.
"What? Planning to wash your hair with it?" I shot back.
"No, no! I'd get all sticky—so uncomfortable!" She clutched her head protectively with both hands.
Once the cafeteria saw the two of us start eating, the students cautiously returned to their normal lines. Like sheep returning to graze after the wolf leaves.
That's when Shu Sha, Loudmouth, and Little Smart entered the cafeteria.
Behind them was my number-one loyal dog—glasses bro—and four or five other guys.
They all joined the back of the line, chatting, but the class leader looked unusually quiet today.
If they had ended up right in front of me, none of them would have let me cut. The class leader definitely wouldn't. Glasses bro has backbone too (I'll talk about him later; he's actually terrifying). Loudmouth isn't scared anymore because she's heard too many ridiculous stories about me from Xiao Qin. And Little Smart—skinny enough that people assume she's anorexic—basically mirrors everything Loudmouth does.
The rest of glasses bro's crew wouldn't challenge me alone, but with someone leading them, they'd follow.
Honestly, discovering there are students who aren't scared of me feels kind of nice.
They noticed I was eating with Xiao Qin.
Loudmouth smirked and whispered to Little Smart.
Glasses bro said something to Shu Sha and looked like he wanted to come over, but the class leader stopped him.
Were they worried I'd dump Coke on Xiao Qin again?
I didn't even buy Coke today! Did they think I was leveling up my brutality and preparing to dump Yu-Xiang stir-fried pork on her?
Even I think that sounds barbaric.
Sure, the Little Tyrant once shoved a live crab down my shirt and let its claws tear into me—I still have a chunk of flesh missing from my back.
Ugh. Just thinking about it pisses me off.
Still… she's definitely a girl now, no matter how boyish her school uniform is. And she kept sneaking glances at me while eating, like watching my caveman table manners was top-tier entertainment.
Xiao Qin, unexpectedly, didn't talk much. She quietly ate her small portion and finished before me.
Then she propped her elbows on the table, leaned forward, cupped her rosy cheeks, and just… stared at me.
Stared like she was intoxicated.
It was terrifying.
Her expression looked like she could watch me eat for the rest of her life without getting bored. That kind of look will absolutely haunt my dreams.
I usually eat slowly because I like to chew thoroughly—eating too fast messes up your digestion, weakens your body, and reduces training efficiency.
Diet is part of martial arts.
A boxer who controls his intake and runs daily becomes a lean, deadly cheetah.
A sumo wrestler who downs chankonabe every day becomes, well… a big fat tank. (That's literally the goal.)
But Xiao Qin's gaze was so unsettling that I finished eating three times faster than usual and almost choked.
She panicked and rushed to buy a Coke, shoving it into my hands.
When I raised the cup, Shu Sha, glasses bro, and their group stared at me with full alertness.
Did they really think I orchestrated a scenario where Xiao Qin obediently brings me Coke just so I can pour it on her again?
That's way too perverted.
But… to be fair, if I did tell her to do that, Xiao Qin might actually say:
"If Haruya wants it, I'll endure being sticky all over!"
The thought alone made me raise the cup and quickly gulp down half the Coke to clear my throat.
Once they realized I wasn't going to attack Xiao Qin with soda, everyone visibly relaxed.
"Is the Coke good?" Xiao Qin asked with a bright smile.
"I don't even like Coke that much. I just drink it sometimes. Honestly, Coke and Pepsi taste the same to me."
My sense of taste isn't great. Even that short-lived Fenhuang Cola tasted almost identical to normal Coke. They spent a fortune hiring Jackie Chan for ads but still failed miserably because they couldn't handle online sales.
Side note: Ai Mi, the American girl who can't drink Coke even if she wants to, would probably be thrilled to chug the concentrated knock-off Fenhuang version.
A random, awful thought crossed my mind—if I poured Coke on Xiao Qin, Ai Mi might actually come and lick it off her.
No, no, no. Too many H-manga recently. My brain's getting polluted.
After lunch, I thought Xiao Qin would drag me off for a walk, but she suddenly clutched her stomach like she was in pain.
"What's wrong? Did the food upset your stomach?"
The cafeteria ingredients aren't exactly fresh. Xiao Qin's immune system will toughen up after a few months.
"I don't think so… I don't know what's happening… Haruya, I'm sorry, I'm going back to class first."
She didn't seem seriously ill, so I waved her off.
With half an hour left before afternoon classes, I headed to the back court to shoot some hoops.
Unlike most people, the basketball team captain, Guo Songtao, is always willing to play with me.