Chapter 65: The Light of AwakeningThe heavy velvet doors slowly closed behind the three of them, completely cutting off the hustle and bustle of the hall.This top-tier VIP private suite, named Ruby Heart, was so luxurious it was almost blinding.The pure gold chandeliers, the monster furs covering an entire wall, and that red velvet round bed (cough, sofa) so large one could roll around on it—everything shouted the sheer violence of wealth.The fox-eyed manager clapped his hands respectfully. Accompanied by a puff of sweet incense, a hidden door on the side of the suite was pushed open."Your Highness, to dispel the sorrow of losing your homeland, our salon has specially prepared the highest specification of entertainment for you. These are all descendants of noble families who have fallen on hard times for various reasons. They have received the strictest etiquette training and can provide you with the most perfect service, both in body and mind."As soon as he finished speaking, a line of figures filed in one after another.In that instant, Haru and Kazuma's breathing stalled simultaneously.Walking in the front were several fallen noblewomen with figures so hot they were practically illegal.They wore so-called silk gowns, but the fabric was pitifully sparse. Large patches of snowy-white skin, deep cleavages, and looming absolute territory shimmered under the crystal lamps, making one's head spin.Following behind them were several well-built, handsome men. They wore silk shirts left open at the chest, and their eight-pack abs were even smeared with reflective essential oils.Compared to the illusory dreams of the Succubus Shop that could only be enjoyed with eyes closed, the solid visual impact before them—mixed with the scent of high-end perfume and the warmth of flesh—was simply a heavy hammer blow to the soul!The monocle on Kazuma's face snapped off and fell to his chest. His eyes bulged like copper bells. His original expression of a sinister, scheming butler instantly collapsed, replaced by the classic perverted face of 'Scumzuma'.He stared fixedly at one of the cat-eared girls (suspected to be wearing accessories) who possessed an incredible curve, and a highly suspicious swallowing sound came from his throat.Haru was not doing much better.As the last sword of the empire, Haru was currently gripping the hilt of the sword at his waist so tightly that his knuckles were turning white from the exertion.His brain was frantically sounding alarms, and reason told him he had to maintain his cool persona, but his gaze was like it was caught by a powerful magnet, unable to move away from those pale, white thighs.This is the true world of the rich! This is the true Pure Land of Ultimate Bliss! What was the Succubus Shop? That was just self-consolation for poor ghosts!"Lin... Big Brother Haru..." Kazuma said in a trembling, low whisper by Haru's ear, a glistening liquid even faintly appearing at the corner of his mouth. "I take back what I said before... that idiot Aqua is actually useful once in a while! This is heaven! I want to change classes to a noble! I want to buy that cat-eared girl!""Shut up, Kazuma. Put away that face that looks like it's never seen the world," Haru gritted out using ventriloquism through his teeth, even though his own eyes were fixed on the garter belt of a noble girl in a maid outfit. "We are cold-blooded guards right now! If we're seen through, not only is heaven gone, we'll end up rotting in a cell! Wipe your drool!"Just as Haru and Kazuma were struggling painfully against their primal instincts, Aqua, the princess of the Axis Order Empire in whom they had placed high hopes (or rather, no hope at all), displayed a shocking reaction.Facing those muscular beauties who tried to lean in and call her 'Your Highness' with magnetic voices, Aqua didn't feel the slightest attraction. Instead, she showed an extremely disgusted expression."Hey! You guys! Don't block my view!" Aqua shoved aside a handsome guy who was about to curry favor with her, her eyes staring straight at the massive tower in the center of the table made of various rare fruits and gold-leaf snacks. "You! The one with the big pecs! Stop wriggling around over there and go peel that golden grape for me! And you, the one with hair like a bird's nest, go open that bottle of bubbly wine! Move faster, I'm so hungry I could eat an entire Frost-fallen Crimson Magic Cow!"The male models who were originally prepared to exert their charm froze on the spot.They had received countless training sessions on how to tease noblewomen, but faced with this arrogant attitude that treated them as mere 'grape-peeling machines,' their CPUs clearly overloaded.In the eyes of the fox-eyed manager, however, this scene had a completely different interpretation."(Gasps) As expected of true royalty! Facing such peerless beauties, she doesn't even blink, even viewing them as the lowliest of servants! And those two attendants, though they stare fiercely at my girls, they are clearly on guard to see if they are hiding concealed weapons! So professional! This is true noble poise!" The manager fantasized wildly in his heart, and his awe for the three of them rose another level.The atmosphere in the suite reached a certain bizarre peak as the manager made his awe-filled exit.Haru took a deep breath, trying to calm his racing heart, and gave the manager his final instruction in that cold, metallic voice: "Manager, Her Highness needs to dine now and does not wish to be disturbed by outsiders. As for us... as guards, we naturally need to split up to clear the side rooms of any security risks. Take those fallen nobles to the adjacent suites; we will interrogate them personally."The manager gave a lewd smile that said 'I get it, I totally get it,' and bowed even lower. "Understood, understood. The loyalty you two lords have for Her Highness is truly moving; you even handle the interrogations personally. Please follow me, the side rooms have the most secret barriers prepared."Aqua was currently holding a cream-covered banana in one hand and a bottle of expensive champagne in the other, slumped on the sofa without any semblance of an image. She waved her hand vaguely. "Go, go! Just leave the grape-peeler! Haru, remember to pay the bill for me, don't run off!"Haru and Kazuma glanced at each other.In that moment, they needed no words. Their eyes were interlaced with the bitterness of years of poverty, the longing for the visual impact they just witnessed, and a resolve that even if the Demon King attacked today, nothing would stop them from 'graduating'."Big Brother Haru, I wish you luck in battle." Kazumalowered his voice, his tone carrying a tragic air of heading to a battlefield, but his footsteps were so light he was practically flying. "I choose that cat-eared girl and the one in black stockings... Hehe, hehehe, my dream, my youth, is finally going to bloom here!"Haru snorted coldly and straightened his slightly messy collar. "Pathetic. I choose that 'Count's eldest daughter' who looks the most cold and aloof. For an interrogation, one must naturally start with the toughest nut to crack."Led by the manager, the two of them walked toward the luxury suites on either side of the corridor.When Haru pushed open the door inlaid with rubies, a rich scent mixing rose and musk wafted toward him.On the massive circular water bed in the center of the room, the fallen noble girl who had been seducing him with her eyes earlier was leaning against a velvet pillow.The light gauze on her body was nearly transparent under the magic lights. Her slender legs were crossed, and her toes hooked a dangling red high-heeled shoe."My Lord..." she murmured in a sweet voice that could melt steel. She slowly rose, stepping barefoot onto the thick carpet, approaching Haru step by step. "Do you want to interrogate my... past first, or interrogate my... body?"In that instant, Haru's brain completely short-circuited. The thirty-million check, the Demon King's Army, Aqua—all of it turned to nothingness at this moment.Haru's gaze was locked onto that approaching snowy-white silhouette, and his palms were even sweating.This is the true 'Ruby'! This is the ultimate meaning of a man being reincarnated into another world!Meanwhile, Kazuma's nearly hysterical wild laughter came from the room next door: "Wahahaha! Is this heaven! Don't stop! Keep calling me 'Lord Butler'! Yes, that's the expression!"Haru swallowed hard and locked the door behind him with a crisp click."Then, the interrogation begins."Haru unbuttoned his collar, a light known as awakening flashing in his eyes.
Chapter 66: Kicked Out the DoorAt the end of a dark alley in Axel, in front of the Succubus Shop filled with a pink atmosphere and dreamy temptation, a shrill scream, enough to purify all the Undead within a three-mile radius, pierced the silence."Don't come over! Don't kiss me with that bearded face, ahhh!! One eris... I won't wash it for even one eris! Get away, you stinking Orcs!!"Dust bolted upright from the soft bench, his whole body looking as if he had just been fished out of a bucket, cold sweat soaking his shabby light armor.His pupils were still trembling violently, the haunting image in his mind—the originally pure and moving first-love girl suddenly opened her bloody mouth and howled in a voice loud enough to shatter eardrums, "Haru! Buy me wine, quick! I blew up the guild's toilet!", followed by the girl's face turning into a giant Slime with a big beard like Beldia(Dullahan), submerging his entire body in sticky liquid...Even more terrifyingly, at the end of the dream, he found himself wearing a pink maid outfit full of lace, kneeling in a mud pit washing the feet of a row of Orc men picking their toes, and the reward was actually only one eris!"Whew... whew..." Dust pinched his thigh hard, and after confirming the pain, he finally woke up from that desperate "family bucket" combo meal.He stared into the void, gritting his teeth, his eyes filled with the madness and humiliation of being broken, "Haru... Kazuma... you two animals! What on earth did you write on that wish form!! This kind of dream... this kind of dream is simply mental pollution!!"Meanwhile, just as Dust was mourning for that missing one eris, inside the VIP box of the Ruby Salon, the atmosphere was rapidly plummeting from paradise to a public execution.Haru was originally immersed in the gentle embrace of that fallen noble girl, his fingers even touching that layer of smooth, light gauze.However, at this decisive moment, an urgent and suspicious argument suddenly came from outside the box."Really, Manager! I swear I'm not mistaken! When I was doing odd jobs at the Adventurers Guild, I saw this blue-haired one every day!"A young servant carrying a tray, who had originally come in to deliver dessert, was now pointing at Aqua, who was unceremoniously stuffing half a cream tart into her mouth, his voice distorted with shock.The manager's fox-like eyes narrowed into a slit, his tone carrying a dangerous chill: "You'd better think carefully before you speak. This is Her Royal Highness the Princess of the Axis Order Empire. If your accusation is false, you can forget about making a living in Axel for the rest of your life.""What Imperial Princess! She's that retarded Archpriest Aqua who spends all day crying for wine in the guild, is deep in debt, and was ordered to clean for a month because she blew up the toilet!!" the servant shouted hysterically, "If you don't believe me, look at her eating habits now. Does she look like a noble at all? She's even using the tablecloth to wipe her snot!!"Aqua's movements froze. She was still holding a half-eaten chicken leg, cream smeared all over her cheeks and even hanging from the tip of her nose.Hearing the words "blew up the toilet," her originally attempted high-and-mighty demeanor instantly collapsed, and she jumped up like a cat whose tail had been stepped on."N-Nonsense! This Princess... This Princess was purifying! It was to make the guild's toilet radiate a holy glow! You lowly commoner, how dare you expose me in public... no! How dare you slander this Princess!!"Dead silence filled the room.In that one second, the manager's face went from fawning to ashen, and finally to a pitch-black like the bottom of a pot.He turned his head and stared fixedly at Kazuma, who was about to peek out from the next room to see what was happening and hadn't even had time to pull up his pants properly, and Haru, who was standing at the doorway of the suite with a stiff expression."The last bloodline of the Axis Order Empire?" The manager's voice was low enough to make one's hair stand on end, repeating word by word, "The royal guards who split up to interrogate for the sake of protecting the Princess? A thirty million erissponsorship?"Haru looked at the elite guards behind the manager who were quietly gripping the longswords at their waists, his brain working at high speed.It's over. Forget about graduating now; he probably won't even get a chance for probation."L-Haru-aniki..." Kazuma leaned against the doorframe, his face pale and his legs weak, "I think... if we run now, our Luck stat should be enough for us to make it two blocks away, right?"With a heavy thud, the heavy mahogany door of the Ruby Salon, inlaid with gold edges, slammed shut behind the three of them, kicking up a cloud of Dust.Immediately following were three sounds accompanied by a heavy thud, as the heavy mahogany door of the Ruby Salon, inlaid with gold edges, slammed shut behind the three of them, kicking up a cloud of Dust.Immediately following were three extremely consistent thumping sounds of flesh making close contact with the hard stone pavement."Ouch! My butt! My sacred buttocks are going to split open, ahhh!!"Aqua let out a scream loud enough to alarm all of Axel.Her originally magnificent exiled princess dress was now torn into rags, and her originally sacred and inviolable face was stuck with half a flattened cream tart.Worst of all, those elite guards responsible for clearing the area clearly had a long-standing grudge against this toilet-blowing retard.At the moment they threw her out the door, the leader even added a few extra kicks for good measure, landing right on Aqua's rounded backside."Get out! You swindling lowlifes! If you ever dare to come within a hundred meters of the Ruby Salonagain, we'll chop you up and feed you to the crocodiles!"The guard captain snorted coldly and even spat at the trio's feet before leading his men back into that sanctuary filled with the scent of perfume and money, grumbling as he went.Haru and Kazuma lay on the side of the street like two dead dogs, their previous aura of imperial elites having completely gone to the dogs.Haru touched his aching waist, looked up at the Ruby sign shimmering in the sunset, then turned to look at Aqua, who was rolling frantically on the ground clutching her thigh, crying with tears and snot flowing."It's over... everything is over..." Kazuma stared blankly at the sky, his hand still death-gripping half a broken garter belt (god knows how he managed to pull it off in that chaos), his voice filled with the emptiness of lost dreams, "My Cat-eared girls... my graduation ceremony... my youth... I was just that close to completing the major event of my life after reincarnation on that water bed!! Aqua!! You toilet-blowing retard!! Why do you even exist in this world!!""Waaaaah! Is this my fault?! That servant started it!" Aqua cried while wiping her tears with her tattered sleeves, incidentally smearing the cream on her face more evenly, "And those guards were too much! They actually kicked me! I'm a Goddess, you know! Kicking a Goddess's butt will bring divine retribution! Boohoo... Haru, I haven't finished my gold leaf cake yet, and that bottle of bubbly wine was only half-drunk... We have to go back, we have to fight our way back and take our stuff!!"Haru took a deep breath, suppressing the urge to stuff Aqua into the nearby sewer, and slowly stood up, patting his royal guard uniform which had now turned into a rag.The sun completely sank below the horizon, and the evening breeze of Axel carried a bone-chilling cold as it blew through that secluded alley.Haru, Kazuma, and Aqua—who was still sobbing quietly and trying to wash the footprints off her butt with Holy Water—were shivering as they crouched next to a trash can."Listen up, Aqua. If you dare to say a single word about being kicked out today or not even finishing your gold leaf cake..." Haru stared at her with a cold gaze that looked particularly terrifying in the dim light, "I will replace all your wine rations at the guild with plain water. Do you understand? The kind of plain water where you won't see a single drop of alcohol, absolutely!"Kazuma nodded frantically on the side, using that piece of broken garter belt to wipe the Dust off his face, adding through gritted teeth: "Exactly! We need to fabricate a perfect story of an imperial expedition! We weren't kicked out; we... we sensed a Demon King's Army conspiracy hidden in that salon, and for the sake of world peace, we gave up our wealth and glory at the last moment and resolutely evacuated! Got it? This is called a noble strategic relocation!"Aqua was frightened into a hiccup by the low pressure from the two of them, shrinking into a ball aggrievedly: "I-I get it... but my butt really hurts... boohoo, are we just going to stay here in the cold wind? I'm so hungry, my holy stomach has already started to digest itself...""Shut up! This is to create the illusion of returning from a hard-fought battle!" Haru tightened his tattered uniform, his teeth chattering as he spoke, "If we go back now, those drunks will definitely ask: 'Yo, didn't you guys go to be nobles? How come you're back in three hours?'. We have to stay here for at least six hours to make it look like we've been on an epic infiltration mission!"So, for the next three hours, if the residents of Axelpassed by this alley, they would see three weirdos in tattered fancy clothes, huddled around an empty wine barrel playing a staring game to combat hunger and cold.Finally, when the clock struck nine in the evening, the three of them staggered with solemn expressions and pushed open the doors of the Adventurers Guild.
Chapter 67: Dragging a Scapegoat DownWhen the doors of the Adventurer's Guild were pushed open, the originally noisy tavern fell silent for a few seconds, followed by an even more intense burst of jeering.Although Haru and Kazuma were in tatters, they perfectly maintained the arrogant air of "I might be broke, but I've seen the world."Haru casually fished out the last few eris coins from his pocket, slammed them onto the bar counter, and gave Aqua a fierce look.Aqua was just about to complain about being hungry, but seeing Haru's murderous gaze, she immediately remembered the threat of the alcohol ban. She quickly covered her mouth, nodded repeatedly, and scurried to a corner with a mug of cheap ale to chug it down, looking exactly like a silenced blue hamster."Everyone, don't mind our current state. It's just that the full service at the Ruby Salon was... too intense." Kazuma leaned against the bar with a sigh, swirling his empty glass as if it contained aged Lafite. "That realistic touch, those noble young ladies whispering in your ear... tsk tsk... that dream stuff at the Succubus Shop is just child's play in comparison."Haru took over, describing to the surrounding Adventurers in a deep, magnetic voice (despite his stomach growling), "Exactly. Especially the eldest daughter of that fallen Count; her interrogation techniques... ahem, her service etiquette was simply art. We only ruined our clothes while retreating to help Her Highness fend off those fanatical suitors. Sigh, the world of the rich is something you guys who have only seen Giant Toads would never understand."Just as the crowd of Adventurers was being swept away by their boasting, their mouths watering with envy, the guild doors were pushed open again.A wave of resentment strong enough to drop the room temperature by five degrees instantly swept through the hall.Dust walked in unsteadily, looking like a vengeful spirit crawling out of a grave, emitting a mixture of cheap fragrance and the stench of orc feet.His hair was a mess like a bird's nest, his eyes were bloodshot, and he stared fixedly at the boasting Haru and Kazuma."Young ladies... art... service..." Dust's voice was low and raspy, carrying a broken tremble. He walked up behind the two and laughed eerily, "Hehe... hehehe... Haru, Kazuma... you two had quite a lot of fun at the Ruby Salon, didn't you?"Kazuma's smile froze, and he turned his neck stiffly. "Yo, if it isn't Dust. What's up? Finished your first love dream at the Succubus Shop? Looking at you, you must have been so satisfied your soul left your body, right?""Yeah... it left, straight into hell." Dust suddenly grabbed Haru and Kazuma's shoulders, his nails almost digging into their flesh. He lowered his voice, every word squeezed out from between his teeth. "Can someone tell me... why my first love turned into a bearded Slime? Why did I have to wear a maid outfit and wash the feet of a bunch of orcs?! And for only one eris!! Where is that one eris?! I got kicked out before I even got that one eris!!"Hearing about washing orcs' feet, the surrounding Adventurers showed horrified and disgusted expressions, instinctively distancing themselves from Dust.Haru felt a chill down his spine; it was the ultimate vengeful spirit of a man whose dreams had been utterly destroyed.Dust's hand trembled as he slowly raised the wooden stick in his other hand. There was no longer any humanity in his eyes, only pure malice."Since you love full service so much..." Dust revealed an extremely distorted smile. "Then I've prepared an Axel Traditional Combat Set for you too. It's free of charge, and I'll make sure you get your fill!!"The air in the guild seemed to freeze, and the wooden stick in Dust's hand creaked under the excessive force.That face, ravaged beyond recognition by the bearded Slime and the orc foot-washing room, was now pressed between Haru and Kazuma, his breath carrying the scent of despair."Tell me... who exactly... wrote 'Family Bucket' on that form?" Dust's voice sounded like a demon crawling from the lowest level of hell. "Who made it so I'll never dare to look at a pure young girl's face again? Who made it so I want to vomit whenever I see a one eris coin now?!"Haru and Kazuma glanced at each other.In that 0.1-second exchange of glances, the two reached a tacit understanding that transcended life and death—better the fellow daoist dies than I."It was him!!"Haru and Kazuma pointed their index fingers straight at each other's noses at almost the same time, their movements as synchronized as a well-rehearsed performance."Dust, listen to me!" Haru spoke first, wearing a pained and disappointed expression as he grabbed Dust's other shoulder. "I originally wanted to write 'Lap Pillow from a gentle big sister' for you! It was Kazuma! This dark-hearted, perverted guy who only thinks about stealing underwear all day! He snatched the pen when I wasn't looking and wrote down the Family Bucket set with a wicked grin! He even said a guy like Dust deserves a Slime baptism! I couldn't stop him!""Hey!! Haru, you despicable coward!!" Kazuma's eyes nearly popped out in shock. He hurriedly waved his hands, frantically defending himself to Dust. "Dust, don't listen to his nonsense! He's the mastermind! He was the one who suggested 'first love is too monotonous, better add some of Aqua's noise to increase the realism'! The orc foot-washing idea was also his! He even said it would help you adapt to a bankrupt life in the future! I was just the errand boy filling out the form; I'm the victim he threatened!!""Liar! You were grinning so hard you were drooling while writing it!" Haru countered righteously, even wiping away non-existent tears. "Dust, look, he still has that Garter Belt tucked in his shirt! That's the ironclad proof of his twisted heart! Not only did he screw you over, but he also wanted to abandon us and 'graduate' alone at the Ruby Salon! You absolutely cannot let a scumbag like this go!""Haru!! You imperial bastard who sells out his friends!!" Kazuma shook with rage. He turned to Aqua, who was in the corner stealing someone's leftovers, and shouted, "Aqua! Tell him! Who was the one messing around on the form back then?!"Aqua was chewing on a chicken bone with great relish. Hearing someone call her, she looked up blankly, with suspicious grease stains still on the corner of her mouth."Huh? The form? Oh, that... I remember you two were huddled together laughing 'hehehe' and saying Dust would definitely be moved to tears... *hic*! But I think that one eris was quite reasonable. Dust, you're usually only worth that much anyway, aren't you?"The entire place fell into a dead silence again.Dust's head hung low, his body trembling violently, and the wooden stick in his hand made a crisp snapping sound.He slowly raised his head, the bloodshot veins in his eyes now forming a solid red."So... both of you... had a hand in it..."He let out a beast-like roar and suddenly jumped onto a table, pouncing at the two like an enraged baboon. "Die, both of you!! You animals who treat other people's dreams like doormats!!!!"Just as Dust's wooden stick, carrying a violent wind pressure, was about to physically "enlighten" Haruand Kazuma's heads at the critical moment, time seemed to slow down to a crawl in their eyes.Haru and Kazuma's gazes collided intensely in mid-air.It was a soul-level communication that required no words, a high-level consensus reached by two unprincipled Adventurers who constantly tested the limits of life and death—better the fellow daoist dies than I, and if the fellow daoist doesn't want to die, then drag a scapegoat down!"It was her!!"Along with two synchronized, voice-cracking roars, Haru and Kazuma displayed agility that surpassed human limits.Both performed an incredibly smooth Dogeza slide at the same time, slipping past Dust's crotch from left and right. Then they spun around in unison, pointing their trembling index fingers straight at the blue-haired girl in the corner who was holding half a chicken bone with a blank face."Dust! Calm down! Every debt has its debtor; the real mastermind is Aqua!!" Haru cried out, his expression so grief-stricken it was as if his house had just been ransacked. "Think about it, how could we possibly write such a perverted dream? It was her! While we went to the toilet, she used her pathetic IQ and wicked divine power to tamper with the wish form!"Kazuma immediately caught on and pounded the floor in mock anguish. "Exactly! Dust, think about it! That line 'Haru, buy me booze! I blew up the guild toilet!'—who else could have come up with that besides her?! That's her signature line! To get back at you for mocking her for not having money to buy snacks last time, she specifically went to the back door of the Succubus Shop and recorded it live into the Dream Crystal Ball!!"Dust's berserker-like movements came to a screeching halt in mid-air.Due to the unique simple-mindedness of Axel's folk, his brain, which was burned down to a single nerve by rage, actually accepted this setting completely in an instant.Seeing this, Haru immediately delivered the final fatal blow: "Not only that! She was the one who set the one eris wage for washing feet! She was picking her nose at the time and said, 'A low-level Adventurer like Dust, who won't even treat a Goddess to a drink, only deserves one eris in a dream. Let him experience the hardships of a working man!' We begged her to show mercy, but she wouldn't listen at all!!"Dust slowly turned his head, his bloodshot eyes locking onto Aqua.Aqua was stunned.She looked at Haru and Kazuma pointing at her, then at Dust staring at her like a demon, and the chicken bone in her hand fell onto the table with a clatter."Huh? What nonsense are you two talking about! How could I go to such an indecent shop..." Aquajumped up in a panic, trying to defend herself. "And I didn't record anything! I just thought that with Dust's usual pathetic look, one eris really does fit his value... Waaah! Haru, why are you glaring at me again!"However, when Aqua's signature, piercingly shrill voice echoed through the tavern, Dust's DNA was triggered.
Chapter 68: Flooding the ToiletIt was a kind of PTSD that seeped deep into the marrow.In Dust's vision, Aqua's originally somewhat pretty face suddenly began to twist and swell, eventually merging perfectly with that giant Slime from his dreams—the one with Beldia's bushy beard that spat out Slime."That's the voice!!!"Dust let out a scream ten times more shrill than before, tears streaming down his face. "That's the voice that tortured me all night in my dreams!! Aqua!! You vicious, moronic woman!! Give me back my pure first love!! I'm going to shove your head into the guild's toilet and let you experience what a real baptism feels like, ahhhhh!!!"Completely abandoning Haru and Kazuma, Dustraised his wooden stick and charged at Aqua with a destructive momentum, looking like an Orc in heat."Uwahhhh! Stay away! Help! Haru! Kazuma! You two heartless brutes! Why am I always the one getting hurt, ahhhhh!!"Scared out of her wits, Aqua scrambled over tables, knocking over countless people's drinks as she began to scurry around the guild in a blind panic.Dust pursued her relentlessly, leaving a trail of chaos and the angry curses of Adventurers in his wake.Haru and Kazuma climbed up from the ground and brushed the Dust off their clothes.The two exchanged a look and let out a long sigh of relief simultaneously. Then, with a clear conscience, they walked over to Aqua's former seat, picked up her unfinished fried chicken, and leisurely watched this late-night Axel chase.The guild's doors were slammed open amidst Aqua's shrill screams and Dust's beast-like roars. The two of them charged into the cold Axel night one after the other, soon disappearing at the end of the street.The originally boisterous tavern fell into a moment of eerie silence after experiencing what felt like a brief hurricane passing through.Haru and Kazuma sat calmly in the spot Aqua had just occupied.Kazuma even elegantly picked up that cup of cheap ale and took a small sip, as if he hadn't just been through a life-or-death crisis."Whew... finally some peace and quiet." Kazuma put down his glass and sighed in an incredibly punchable tone. "Big brother Haru, that move of yours to shift the trouble onto others really spoke to my heart. But then again, that girl Aqua runs pretty fast; I've never seen her this motivated when we ask her to lure monsters."Haru grabbed a fried chicken leg that Aqua hadn't finished and took a casual bite. "After all, it's a major matter of whether or not she'll be baptized in a toilet. Human potential is infinite, let alone a god's. However, Dust is currently under a double berserk buff from his shattered first love and the one-erisfoot-washer incident. Aqua's pitiful stamina probably won't last long."Kazuma's eyes lit up as if he had caught the scent of a business opportunity. He leaned in closer to Haru, lowered his voice, and revealed his signature devious smile. "In that case, big brother Haru, why don't we make a bet? Let's bet on whether Aqua can escape Dust's pursuit alive—or rather, in one piece—before dawn."Haru raised an eyebrow and spat a chicken bone onto the plate. "Oh? Interesting. What are the terms?""I bet Aqua won't last half an hour!" Kazumaslapped the table confidently. "That girl's IQ is too low; she'll definitely run blindly into a dead end or try to use her useless Natures Beauty to brainwash Dust, only to get ground into the dirt by him. As for the stakes... let's bet all the money left in our pockets!"Haru felt the pitiful 5 eris in his pocket and sneered. "Kazuma, did you forget that you're also a pauper right now? But since you're so confident, I'll bet that Aqua escapes. After all, she's such an oddball she could make a Giant Toad vomit from disgust. Even if Dust catches her, he'll probably be reverse-contaminated by her IQ."Just as the two were excitedly using their teammate's life—and dignity—as a wager, completely disregarding the poor blue-haired goddess sprinting through the cold wind, a familiar voice drifted from behind them."Um... sorry to interrupt you two young masters' fun."Haru and Kazuma turned around to see the Guild Receptionist, Miss Luna, standing behind them.Her face, which usually wore a gentle smile, was now shrouded in a thick dark aura, and she held a bill so long it trailed on the floor."While I really don't want to interrupt your bet, as Aqua's teammates, shouldn't you settle the bill from just now first?" Miss Luna's smile became extremely menacingly kind as she tapped the numbers on the bill with her fingernail. "Three overturned tables, twelve chairs, twenty spilled cups of ale, and the fried chicken Aqua just ate without paying... Totaling 158,000 eris. Tell me, will you two be paying with cash or card?"The lights of the Adventurer's Guild gradually receded behind them. Accompanied by Miss Luna's gentle-toned "Thank you, we can finally get new ones," Haru and Kazuma supported each other, stumbling toward their home that smelled of hay and horse manure."Dammit... 158,000 eris! How many fried chicken meals is that? How many bottles of good wine?" Kazuma kicked a pebble on the side of the road, but because he used too much force, he strained his groin from the earlier slide, making him grimace in pain. "Big brother Haru, I've decided. When Aquagets back, I'm going to hang her from the stable rafters and whip her butt with hay! It's all because of her that our graduation trip turned into a debt hell!"Haru was gloomily brushing the Dust off his uniform. This originally bright and beautiful Royal Guard uniform now looked like it had been mauled by a pack of wild dogs."Save it, Kazuma. With Aqua's divine thick-skinnedness, even if you hang her up, she'll just cry and scream that she's hungry, and probably steal the last of your hidden snacks while she's at it." Haru sighed and pushed open the creaking wooden door of the stable. "The most important thing right now is that 30-million-check. If the manager of the Ruby Salon really goes to verify with the Axis Order Empire, we might not just be paying back debts; we'll probably be wanted throughout the whole city."Kazuma shuddered and quickly stuffed that piece of a torn garter belt deep into the haystack to hide it. "Don't say another word, big brother Haru. As long as we don't say anything and Aqua doesn't say anything, who's going to know it's fake? From now on, as long as we kill a few more toads, we'll still be Axel's most promising Adventurers... probably."The two lay side by side on the haystack, staring at the drafty roof, falling into a long silence.Time passed minute by minute. Around two in the morning, an extremely weak and miserable scratching sound came from outside the stable door."Scratch... scratch..."Haru and Kazuma sat up at the same time, a hint of alertness flashing in their eyes.The door was slowly pushed open a crack, and a blue, soaking wet object emitting an indescribable odor crawled inside.It was Aqua.Her originally gorgeous dress had turned into complete rags hanging off her body. That blue hair she was so proud of was now a mess like a bird's nest, with a few unknown water plants tangled in it.Worst of all, her face was covered in tear stains and mud; she looked like a stray cat that had just crawled out of a sewer."Ugh... wahhhhh! Haru! Kazuma!!"The moment Aqua saw them, the fear she had suppressed all night finally exploded.She lunged forward, grabbing both of their legs and crying hysterically. "That lunatic Dust! He really tried to shove me into the toilet! If I hadn't thought quickly and used Create Water to flood the entire guild bathroom to escape in the chaos, you'd be fishing your goddess out of a septic tank right now! Waaaah... I'm so scared, I'm so hungry, I'm so cold!!"Haru pushed her mud-caked head away in disgust. "Get away from me! What is that smell on you? And, did you just say you... flooded the guild bathroom?"Kazuma's face instantly turned darker than the bottom of a pot. "Big brother Haru, I don't think we need to wait until tomorrow. Now, right now, immediately... pack your things and let's run. The repair costs for the guild bathroom are probably more than ten times that 150,000!!
Chapter 69: Dust's CalculationThe early morning sunlight pierced through the drafty roof of the stables, mercilessly stabbing at Haru and Kazuma's eyes.The two of them had barely slept all night, the number one hundred and fifty-eight thousand circling in their minds like a vengeful ghost.Meanwhile, the culprit, Aqua, was lying spread-eagled on the haystack, crystal-clear drool hanging from the corner of her mouth, sleeping exceptionally soundly—as if the person who flooded the guild's toilet last night wasn't her."Let's go and face reality." Kazuma, sporting two massive dark circles under his eyes, spoke with a voice as raspy as if he'd been walking through a desert for three days and nights. "As long as we kneel sincerely enough, maybe Miss Miss Luna will leave us a way to survive."Haru took a deep breath, grabbed Aqua by the back of her collar, and dragged her along like a giant blue sack as he and Kazuma headed toward the Adventurers Guild.However, the moment the two turned the street corner and saw the guild's location, their footsteps froze simultaneously.The originally grand, bustling Adventurers Guild, filled with the scent of wine and dreams... was gone.In its place was a massive indoor swimming pool that was still gurgling and bubbling.Half of the guild's roof was stuck diagonally in the mud, and the originally thick red brick walls now looked like soaked biscuits, limply collapsing in all directions.A few giant toads, which should have stayed outside the city, were now happily hopping around on the surface of the guild's ruins, letting out mocking croaks.Even the sign at the guild's entrance, engraved with 'Axel Adventurers Guild', was floating lonely on the water, with a duck standing on it, tilting its head to observe the group.In that instant, Haru and Kazuma's faces turned so dark they could have been used as ink."A... qua..." Kazuma's voice squeezed through his teeth, carrying a tremor of impending collapse. He turned his head and glared fixedly at Aqua, who was rubbing her sleepy eyes with a bewildered expression. "Didn't you say last night... that you only flooded the toilet? Is this a freaking toilet?! You basically flushed the entire guild down like it was a commode!!"Haru pointed at the ruins that were still slowly sinking, his fingers trembling as if he were playing a piano. "Aqua, fess up. Just how much power did you use for Create Water last night? Did you purify the guild's underground load-bearing walls into thin air?!"Looking at the tragic scene before her, Aqua froze for three seconds before suddenly covering her mouth, her eyes instantly turning red. "Wuu... Waaa! Because Dust looked really scary back then! He was holding that broken wooden stick and shouting nonsense about a Slime baptism while charging into the ladies' room... I got scared and accidentally turned the power to maximum... I thought the guild's drainage system was well-developed! Who knew it couldn't handle a little flushing!!""Good morning, you three. It seems you've already seen Axel's newest attraction."An emotionless voice, as cold as a ten-thousand-year-old glacier, came from behind the three of them.Haru and Kazuma turned around stiffly to see Miss Miss Luna standing in a patch of mud.Her neat uniform was now covered in mud spots, and she still held that bill in her hand, except this time the length of the bill wasn't just dragging on the ground—it was wrapped around her several times.Miss Luna looked at the two of them expressionlessly; there was no anger in her eyes, only a corpse-like tranquility that had seen through the ways of the world."Due to Miss Aqua's sacred flood, the guild's foundation suffered a catastrophic collapse, which incidentally washed away three neighboring private residences and a weapon shop. Adding in the reconstruction costs, the relocation fees for Adventurers during the closure, and the medical fees for Mr. Dust's psychological trauma from being flooded in the toilet..."Miss Luna slowly extended four fingers, her tone calmly hair-raising: "The total comes to forty million eris."Kazuma collapsed onto his knees in the mud with a thud, staring blankly at the sky. "Forty million... heh... forty million... Big Brother Haru, is this life... already over ahead of schedule?"Haru looked at the ridiculously long bill, then at Aqua, who was hugging his leg and wailing loudly, feeling his brain throb in waves of pain.Forty million eris—this was no longer a problem that could be solved by killing a few frogs. This was a massive sum that might not even be gathered if they chopped the three of them up and sold them to the Demon Kings Army as military rations!By the muddy ruins of the guild, the air was thick with the despair unique to the bankrupt.Haru took a deep breath, his hand trembling as he pulled the thirty-million check from his robe, along with the last 5-eris coin in his pocket that had been rubbed shiny, and slammed them both onto Miss Luna's mud-stained desk (which was actually a floating door panel)."This is my final ripple, Miss Miss Luna." You closed your eyes, your tone carrying a desolation as if facing death. "A thirty-million check, plus these 5 coins. For the remaining eight million... even if we have to sell our kidneys, our blood, or go give giant toads sponge baths, we will definitely pay it back. I only ask that you don't send us to the guillotine right now."Miss Luna stared at the check for a full minute.She elegantly tucked the check away and crossed out several zeros on the bill."Deal. The remaining eight million will be converted into high-difficulty subjugation quests. If you die during a quest, I will use your Adventurer's insurance to settle the debt." Miss Luna pushed up her glasses and flashed a professional smile that made Kazuma wet himself on the spot.Just then, heavy footsteps echoed from the mud further away in the ruins."He's coming! That demon is coming!!" Kazuma let out a scream and dove behind Haru. "Big Brother Haru! It's Dust! He must be here to drown us in the mud! Quick, push Aqua out as a shield!!"Dust appeared, soaking wet, with a pain-relieving patch stuck to his forehead, swaying as he walked while carrying his signature wooden stick.His eyes looked somewhat hollow, as if what he had experienced last night wasn't just a flood, but some kind of soul-level reshaping.Aqua screamed in terror, clutching your cloak tightly. "Waaaaah! Dust, listen to me! That water last night was sacred! It was to purify your inner fear of the Bearded Slime! You can't return kindness with enmity!!"However, something beyond everyone's expectations happened.Dust stopped three meters away from the group.He didn't roar, he didn't swing his stick; instead, he very solemnly straightened his tattered collar, and then—Thud!He performed a ninety-degree bow toward Aqua, as standard as a bow could be."Lady Aqua! Please forgive my blindness!!"Dust's voice was loud and sincere, even carrying a hint of irrepressible excitement.He maintained his ninety-degree bow, letting the muddy water from his forehead drip into the puddles.Haru and Kazuma looked at each other, their jaws hitting the tops of their feet simultaneously."Huh?!" Kazuma dug his ear in disbelief. "Dust, is your brain soaked through too? She flushed you and the whole damn hole into the sewers!"Dust snapped his head up; though he looked wretched, his eyes flickered with a light known as 'getting rich quick'.As an old hand who had scraped by at the bottom for years, Dust might usually look like a scummy hoodlum, but he was definitely not stupid.Last night in the toilet, when that tsunami-like torrent instantly destroyed the guild's load-bearing walls, what flashed through his mind as he was being washed away wasn't his life story, but an incredibly crazy business plan—This woman is a mobile strategic-grade natural disaster! To be able to instantly level Axel's sturdiest guild building, what kind of terrifying mana output is that?! If he could trick her into joining his party, then whenever they encountered a troll den or goblin cave, couldn't he just have her pour water inside?! He wouldn't even need to draw his sword; he could just walk in and pick up equipment and magic stones! Forget thirty million, even three hundred million wouldn't be out of reach!"You don't understand, Kazuma!" Dust pointed righteously at the ruins, his tone filled with a thirst for power. "That world-shattering strike last night completely woke me up! To be able to create such a scale of destruction... ahem, such a sacred purification, Lady Aqua's strength is absolutely top-tier in Axel! Lady Aqua, please abandon these two paupers who can't even scrape together five coins and join my party! As long as you're here, we can go flood a few high-difficulty dungeons and easily earn thirty million!!"Aqua was stunned.She blinked her blue eyes, which were filled with clear stupidity, and then that familiar and fatal sense of inflation once again occupied her high ground.She put her hands on her hips, puffed out her non-existent chest, and tilted her nose almost to the sky, revealing a goddess-like (and extremely punchable) merciful smile:"Oh ho ho ho! My, my, although you're a pervert with strange hobbies, your eye for talent is unexpectedly good! That's right, I am the Goddess of Water. Mere dungeons—as long as I move my finger a little, I can turn them all into indoor swimming pools! Since you've begged me so sincerely, then I shall reluctantly..."
Chapter 70: A Peaceful Time Filled with Fragrance"Great! Dust! My good brother!!"Before Aqua could even finish her sentence, Haruand Kazuma practically teleported in front of Dust. Each of them grabbed one of his hands, their faces beaming with the kind of ecstasy one feels when finally getting rid of a plague god."Dust, from this day forward, she's yours!" Haru was so moved that his eyes grew moist. He even thoughtfully gave Aqua a little push toward Dust's arms. "We absolutely won't stand in the way of you making a fortune! May the two of you drown the Demon Kings Castle soon!"Kazuma went a step further, giving a direct thumbs-up. "That's right! To celebrate Aqua's transfer, I assume Brother Dust will also take on the remaining eight million in debt, right? After all, this is the transfer fee for a strategic-level natural disaster!"The fanatical smile on Dust's face froze instantly."Huh? Eight... eight million? Debt?" Dust turned his head like a rusty gear, looking toward the expressionless Miss Luna standing nearby.Miss Luna pushed up her glasses and added in an extremely professional tone, "Yes, Mr. Dust. Miss Aqua is directly responsible for the collapse of the guild. According to the Axel Adventurer Code, if she transfers to your name, then the joint liability for this eight million in damages will be fully borne by your team. Shall I process the transfer paperwork for you now?"A cold wind blew through the ruins of the guild, swirling a single, lonely leaf.Dust looked at the expectant Aqua, then at the bottomless quagmire, and finally at the long bill in Miss Luna's hand."Ah... that... I just remembered..." Dust pulled his hands back as if he'd touched an electric fence. His face, which had been flushed with excitement, turned deathly pale. While whistling an out-of-tune melody, he began to retreat with an incredibly bizarre moonwalk. "I have an appointment today at the Ruby Salon for an orc foot-washing follow-up... Right, I'm actually a masochist, I can't live without Slime! Anyway, the weather is great today, I'll be taking my leave! Farewell!!"Before his voice had even faded, Dust had already turned into an afterimage. At a speed twice as fast as when he was chasing Aqua last night, he fled the scene frantically, leaving behind only a trail of splashing mud."Hey! Why are you running! Didn't you say you'd help me earn thirty million?! Get back here! You low-life thug who doesn't know quality when he sees it!!" Aqua stomped her feet and cursed furiously behind him.On the early morning streets of Axel, an incredibly bizarre chase ensued."Dust! Stop right there! Where's that power of faith from just now? Where's your resolve to be a second parent?!" Kazuma shouted a soul-searching question as he ran. His speed actually broke human limits at that moment, and he managed to grab the corner of Dust's cloak.Haru cut off Dust with a sliding tackle and, panting, pressed down on his shoulder. His face wore the kind of fanatical smile usually seen only when someone is selling insurance. "Brother Dust, don't run! What you saw just now is only the tip of the iceberg! Yes, Aqua is carrying eight million in debt, but you saw it too—that's strategic-level firepower that can level a guild in an instant!"Dust was about to struggle, but his body visibly stiffened when he heard the words'strategic-level firepower'.He turned his head and looked at Haru and Kazumasuspiciously. "Really?""Of course! It's just a mere eight million in debt!" Kazuma struck while the iron was hot, leaning into Dust's ear to whisper like a devil. "And, to show our sincerity, we've decided to give you the other two big shots in our party as a bonus! One is a Crusaderwith the kingdom's leading defensive power, the kind who can tank an attack even from a Demon Kings Army General; the other is a genius Archwizard of the Crimson Demon Clan, who has mastered the highest tier of human offensive magic—Explosion Magic!"Dust's breathing began to grow heavy.As a veteran Adventurer hanging around Axel, he naturally knew what these kinds of class configurations meant.A healer who could flood a place in an instant, a meat shield who couldn't be killed, plus a nuke-level mage who could end things in one shot... With this setup, never mind eight million, even if they went to subjugate a Demon Kings Army General, the credit would be guaranteed! When the time comes to pick up some loot, won't I become the richest man in Axel?!"Are... are you guys serious?" Dust swallowed hard, his eyes flickering with a light that mixed greed and fear. "Teammates of that level, you're willing to just give them to me?"Haru beat his chest, looking full of righteous passion. "Brother, look at what you're saying! We're doing this for the future of Axel! As long as you're willing to take them away, that eight million debt... ahem, that eight million transfer fee is practically a steal!""Deal!!" Dust slapped his thigh hard and let out a roar that shook the heavens. "With a dream team like this, a mere eight million—I, Dust, can pay it back in just one month! Lady Aqua! Please allow me to follow you once more!!"As Dust scurried back to Aqua's side to curry favor again, Kazuma leaned in close to Haru, looking at Dust's retreating back with an extremely pitiful gaze."Big Brother Haru, is this really okay?" Kazumalowered his voice, his tone carrying the exhaustion of someone who had just escaped death. "We didn't lie; Darkness really does have the strongest defense, and Megumin really is a top-tier attacker. But... we didn't tell him that one of them is a masochist who can't hit anything, and the other is a self-destructing maniac who can only fire once a day before becoming paralyzed."Haru looked at Dust, who was immersed in the fantasy of leading a dream team, and at Aqua, who was standing with her hands on her hips, ordering Dust to go buy her deluxe fried chicken. He couldn't help but let out a wicked smile."Kazuma, one mustn't be too greedy. We've already helped him assemble the strongest lineup. As for how to drive this chariot that's liable to fall apart at any moment, that's something for him, the captain, to worry about."Inside the Red Dragon's Breath, a high-end outdoor restaurant in Axel, soft light spilled over tables covered in pristine white cloths.*Clink.*It was the crisp sound of high-purity eris gold coins hitting a porcelain plate. To Haru and Kazuma, it was the most beautiful symphony in the world."Big Brother Haru, am I dreaming? Or am I under some high-level illusion magic?" Kazuma used a trembling hand to fork a piece of sizzling, top-tier marbled beef, his eyes brimming with tears of emotion. "These past three days... we actually completed the Forest Wolf subjugation quest in just three hours. We didn't trigger any traps, didn't attract any Undead, and didn't even get our clothes dirty! The quest reward actually went entirely into our pockets, without being used to repair walls, pay for broken dishes, or cover anyone's medical bills!"Haru elegantly sliced a piece of foie gras and took a sip of expensive aged red wine, letting out a comfortable sigh. "This is the life of a normal person, Kazuma. Without that walking monster bait, without that nuke launcher that turns into scrap metal after one shot, and without that masochistic heavy infantryman who only cares about crawling into monsters' mouths, you'll find that this world is actually full of love and peace."The experiences of these three days could only be described as a "miracle" for the two of them.On the first day, the two of them took a simple commission to collect morning dew. In the past, Aqua would have definitely purified all the dew into plain water because she hated waking up early, causing the commission to fail. But now, you took a leisurely stroll and happened to find a forgotten small treasure chest in the forest, easily earning fifty thousand eris.On the second day, the two went to clear giant rats from the sewers. Without Darkness's highly seductive (in a physical sense) masochistic constitution, the rats behaved very tamely and were picked off one by one by Haru and Kazuma using simple traps and shortswords. Most importantly, no floods submerged the streets!On the third day, which was today, the two had just finished a subjugation bounty. Without the earth-shattering sound of Megumin's Explosion Magic, the surrounding monsters weren't disturbed at all. The two even had time for a picnic in the forest after completing the task."Look at our balance, Big Brother Haru." Kazumasneakily pulled out his Adventurer card, where the numbers showed a heart-racing five hundred thousand eris. "This is pure profit! Pure profit without needing to deduct any guild reconstruction fees! We're finally living like human beings!"Just as the two were about to toast to this hard-won happiness, a shrill scream came from outside the window facing the street. The voice was so familiar that both of their hands holding the glasses shook simultaneously."Help!! Dust! Save me! That Giant Toad is going to swallow me! It's licking my head! It's slimy and disgusting, aaaaah!!""Lady Aqua! Don't just scream! Heal me! My waist is about to be snapped by this toad! And you, bratty mage, stop posing! Cast your magic already!!""Shut up! You foolish thug! The incantation for Explosion Magic is sacred and inviolable! Another thirty seconds... no, one minute! Until then, please use your body to buy me time! This is the honor of being a leader!""Ah... this feeling of being trampled by a giant foot... this humiliation of being insulted by the leader... Dust, louder! Curse me even more harshly! I can't... mmm!"Haru and Kazuma looked at each other silently. With perfect coordination, they both reached out and pulled the heavy restaurant curtains shut."Was that the sound of the wind?" Haru asked without changing his expression."No, I think it was probably the wailing of some endangered beast," Kazuma said calmly as he sliced his beef. "Big Brother Haru, where were we? Oh right, do you have any suggestions about renting a high-end apartment with a bathroom tomorrow?"Outside the window, Dust was being pinned down by a Giant Toad emitting a foul stench, Aqua was trying to poke the toad's eyes with her Natures Beauty, Megumin was eyes closed, immersed in her chuunibyou world, and Darkness was letting out extremely suspicious gasps nearby.And inside the window, it was a peaceful time filled with the fragrance of eris, belonging to the two traitors, Haru and Kazuma.
Chapter 71: A Life Full of Troublesome VibesOutside the Axel stables, which reeked of horse manure, before the early morning sun could warm the earth, a twisted, soaking wet object smelling of gastric acid and mud slapped against the door.Haru and Kazuma had just changed into the high-end silk pajamas they bought yesterday and were about to discuss whether to have Truffle Omelets or Dragon Meat Buns for breakfast when they were startled by the massive impact.The door was slowly pushed open, revealing Dust's face—once fairly handsome, now swollen like a purple steamed bun fresh out of the pot.His armor had shattered into mere dangling pieces, the boot on his left foot was missing—replaced by a clump of congealed toad Slime—and the wooden staff he was so proud of was reduced to a short stub."Haru... Kazuma..." Dust's voice was as raspy as sandpaper. He reached out a scarred, trembling hand and gripped the hem of Haru's pajamas, tears rolling into the mud like broken strings of pearls. "I beg of you... take them back... No, even if you send me to the Demon Kings Castle as part of a suicide squad, just don't make me lead those three living ancestors anymore..."Kazuma took a large step back with a look of disgust, pinching his nose tightly. "Oh my, isn't this the future richest man of Axel, the leader of the Dream Team, and the heir to the Holy Baptism, Lord Dust? How did you end up in such a state? Could it be that making those thirty million was too fast for your body to handle?""Thirty million my ass!!" Dust let out a roar of despair. Due to the excessive force, a small piece of undigested grass flew out of his mouth. "On the first day! That brat Megumin flattened a forest for a kilometer around with a single Explosion Magic, which attracted three flocks of frenzied griffins! That idiot Aqua didn't heal me; instead, she stood in a tree performing Natures Beauty for the griffins, saying she wanted to enlighten them! In the end, I only escaped by taking the griffins' claws to my face!"He wiped his nose and cried even more heart-wrenchingly. "On the second day! I thought killing some Slimes would be fine, right? But that knight Darkness, even though her defense is so high, insisted on stripping off her armor and diving into the Slime pile! While diving, she was shouting, 'Come on, ravage this lowly body to your heart's content!' The Slimes were so scared of her they committed mass suicide! Not a single mana crystal dropped!!"Haru calmly took a sip of hot cocoa and looked at him sideways. "And what about the third day? We heard you guys fighting Giant Toads at the restaurant last night; sounded quite lively."At the mention of Giant Toads, Dust's body twitched violently, and he collapsed directly into the mud. "Last night... last night Aqua said she was hungry and insisted on going to the toad nest to steal eggs to eat... As a result, she was swallowed three times, and I saved her three times. Finally, she complained that the way I saved her wasn't elegant enough and used Create Water to wash me into the cesspool... Big brother Haru! Lord Kazuma! I'll take that eight million debt! I'll pay in installments! I'll be your ox or horse! Please just take those three demons away! If they stay with me any longer, I might awaken some strange fetish and become a pervert like that knight!!"Kazuma leaned toward Haru's ear, revealing his trademark devious expression. "Big brother Haru, look, the fish is completely dehydrated. If we let up now, we can not only pick up a powerful lackey for free but also settle that eight million debt... hehehe."Haru looked at Dust on the ground, who had completely lost his dignity and was even trying to lick the mud off his own soles. He then thought about the three teammates who, while troublesome, were indeed useful in certain specific situations, and made up his mind."Oh, brother Dust, you're really putting us in a difficult position." Haru sighed with feigned gravity, handed the unfinished hot cocoa to Kazuma, and then crouched down, looking directly into Dust's hollow eyes like a devil. "You have to understand, these three days have been like heaven for us. No screaming, no explosions, no perverted panting, and no blue-haired bane of existence yelling for Bubbly Wine every day. Asking us to take back these three strategic-level nuisances now is like pushing us into a fire pit."Dust snapped his head up, a near-insane resolve in his eyes. "Eight million! Put all eight million of that debt on my head!! Even if I have to wash Trolls for a year or empty bedpans at the Succubus Shop for ten years, I will definitely pay it back! Just take them back now, immediately, this instant!!""Deal," Haru and Kazuma replied in unison, so fast that Dust was momentarily stunned.Just then, three highly recognizable voices came from the street outside the stables."Waaaah! Where did that bastard Dust go? I haven't bought my premium fried chicken yet! He actually dared to run off and leave this goddess alone; I'll definitely use Create Water to wash him down the sewer to feed the rats!!" That was Aqua, wailing loudly while clutching an empty wallet."Hmph, is this what they call a leader? To hide in a tree hollow out of fear of griffin claws right at the moment my Explosion Magic was about to be released... he's truly a disgrace to Adventurers." Megumin was leaning on her staff, commenting with a look of haughty disdain."Huff... huff... actually, when Dust scolded me for being a useless meat shield last night, his expression was really on point... if he could have just kicked me a little harder... Ah, Haru? Kazuma? Why are you here?" Darkness's cheeks were flushed, her eyes misty as she looked at the two.The moment Dust saw the three of them, he let out a shriek like a startled kitten and scrambled behind Haru, clutching his pajamas tightly. "Big brother Haru! The contract! Quick, get the contract out! I want to sign! I'll sign everything!!"Haru calmly pulled a pre-prepared 'Party Ownership Transfer Agreement' from his robe and scribbled down the clause stating that the debt would be fully assumed by Dust."Miss Miss Luna, you heard that too, right?" Harucalled out toward the shadows.Miss Luna walked out from behind a stable pillar with an expressionless face, holding a long bill. "Yes, Mr. Lin Jin. Since both parties have reached a consensus, the debt liability for Miss Aqua, Miss Megumin, and Miss Darkness will be officially transferred to Mr. Dust. Current balance: 8,000,000 eris.""Fantastic!!" Dust let out the happiest cheer of his life. Even though he had just taken on an eight-million-debt burden, the expression on his face was as bright as if he had just won a thirty-million-lottery.He gave the two a deep bow and then vanished toward the end of the street at a speed akin to fleeing an explosion, never looking back."Eh? Why did that ATM Dust run away?" Aqualooked at the fleeing Dust and then at Haru and Kazuma, her clear eyes filled with confusion. "Haru, Kazuma, why are you dressed so lavishly? Did you strike it rich while this goddess was away? Quick! I want to eat the most expensive Dragon Steak! I want the highest-grade Bubbly Wine!!"Kazuma looked at Aqua's entitled face, then at his own Adventurer card which now showed zero debt, and revealed an extremely devious and satisfied smile."Big brother Haru, although the gates of hell have reopened, at least..." Kazuma patted his heavy wallet, "we are the real 'bosses' now. Hey, Aqua, you want steak? Go clean those stables over there. If I'm in a good mood, maybe I'll toss you a bone.""Huh?! Satou Kazuma, how dare you speak to this goddess like that! Haru! Do something about him!!"Haru watched the stables become noisy once again. Feeling the long-lost, trouble-filled atmosphere of daily life, the corners of his mouth couldn't help but curl up slightly.
Chapter 72: The Mansion QuestThe Adventurers Guild in Axel, despite having only half a roof and a few stubborn pillars left, remained as bustling as ever."Exorcism?"Haru and Kazuma both stopped mid-bite into their high-grade marbled beef sandwiches, their eyes simultaneously snapping toward Miss Luna, who stood before them holding an exquisite request form.Miss Luna had changed into a clean uniform today, and though a faint weariness from long-term overtime lingered on her face, her eyes sparkled with a light called expectation."Yes, Mr. Lin Jin, Mr. Kazuma," Miss Luna adjusted her glasses, her tone carrying a trace of subtle urgency. "This is a request from a very famous wealthy merchant in town. It's said he owns an extremely luxurious manor on the outskirts with complete facilities, including an indoor hot spring and a private wine cellar. But..."She paused and lowered her voice, as if afraid of disturbing something foul. "It's haunted. Very haunted. It's said that every night, shrill screams echo through the manor, and there are supernatural phenomena like furniture flying around to hit people. Three elite teams have already attempted the exorcism, but they were all scared into mental breakdowns. They're currently receiving treatment at the Axel Mental Hospital.""Haunted? What's there to be afraid of?" Aqua, who had been lying bored on the table drawing circles with her finger, perked up her ears at the word 'exorcism.' "I am the Goddess of Water who governs purification! Mere evil spirits—if I just release a little bit of my divine aura, they'll be crying and begging for mercy as they ascend to heaven!"Kazuma looked at Aqua sideways with his classic dead-fish eyes. "Oh? Is that so? Who was it last time that was chased by a few ghosts, crawling all over the floor, crying and screaming 'Don't eat me, my meat doesn't taste good'?""That... that was a tactical retreat! It was to lure them into a trap!" Aqua's face flushed red as she forced an excuse.Haru, however, keenly caught the main point of Miss Luna's words. "Um... Miss Miss Luna, since it's such a high-risk mission, the reward should be quite generous, right?"Miss Luna gave a professional smile. "In addition to the standard reward of five hundred thousand eris, the client has promised that if the evil spirits are completely cleared, the manor... will be given to the team that completes the task as an extra bonus.""Given to us?! A manor?! The kind with a hot spring and a wine cellar?!"Haru and Kazuma instantly sprang from their chairs, their eyes seemingly glowing with the shape of erisgold coins.A luxurious manor with a hot spring!That was the ultimate dream for countless Adventurers!With it, they would never have to squeeze into that stable smelling of horse manure again! They'd never have to listen to Aqua grinding her teeth in the middle of the night! They could even soak in the hot spring every day, drinking red wine and watching the sunset!"We'll take it! We're taking this quest!!" Haruslammed his hand on the table, so hard it nearly shattered. "What evil spirits! What curses! In front of that big villa with a hot spring, they're all just passing clouds! Aqua! Stop eating! Go prepare your Holy Water! Megumin! Polish your staff! Darkness! Put on your thickest armor! We're going to claim our new home!!""Ohhh! A new home! Am I going to have my own room too? I want to paint the walls the color of Explosion Magic!"Megumin waved her staff excitedly."Evil spirits? Beings that are invisible and intangible, only able to torment people mentally... If I were possessed, would I experience the pleasure of my body being out of control, forced to perform all sorts of shameful actions? Ah... just thinking about it makes me..." Darkness held her chest, an unnatural flush rising to her face as her breathing quickened.Only Aqua was still out of the loop, blinking her large eyes. "Eh? Is there really a wine cellar? Does it have lots and lots of high-grade Bubbly Wine? Then I'm going! I'm going to drink all the wine!!"Haru and Kazuma looked at each other, revealing the kind of devious smiles of people about to reach the pinnacle of life."Move out! Target: The haunted manor! For our mansion! Charge!!"On the outskirts of Axel, a massive manor surrounded by dense forest stood silently."Wow..."Standing before the wrought-iron gates, which still looked grand despite the rust, Haru and Kazuma let out gasps of awe like people who had never seen the world.This manor was practically built to satisfy every Adventurer's fantasy.The main building was a three-story European-style house; though the white walls were somewhat mottled, they still exuded a classical elegance under the sunlight.The massive floor-to-ceiling windows reflected the colors of the sky, as if recounting its former glory.Even more heart-stirring was the fact that there really was an outdoor hot spring pool on one side of the manor!Although it was currently filled with fallen leaves and moss, just imagining the scene of drinking iced milk while soaking in it after it was cleaned caused Haru's mouth to water with happiness."Big brother Haru! Look over there! That huge glass building! That's a greenhouse garden!" Kazumapointed to the other side of the manor, his voice trembling with excitement. "We can plant all sorts of rare herbs, or... ahem, plant the kind of flora that makes one feel good! This is simply paradise!"Aqua couldn't hold back any longer. Like a child discovering a new continent, she cheered and rushed toward the gate. "The wine cellar! Where is the wine cellar?! I smell it! The scent of aged vintages! Offerings meant for a goddess!""Hey! You idiot goddess! Don't run off! What if you step on a trap or get possessed by an evil spirit?!" Kazuma said, though his own feet moved faster than anyone's, fearing Aqua would ruin all the good wine.Haru followed closely behind, pushing open the heavy gates and stepping into this legendary haunted house.The hall was filled with the smell of old dust, but the former luxury was still evident.The massive crystal chandelier, though covered in a layer of dust, hung stubbornly from the ceiling.Several oil paintings that looked quite valuable hung on the walls; they were a bit faded, but selling them on the black market for tens of thousands of eriswould definitely be no problem.Most importantly, the space here was huge! Big enough to ride a bicycle inside!"Is this... where we're going to live?" Meguminstroked the beautifully carved marble pillar in the center of the hall, a look of longing in her eyes. "Such a spacious place... if I set off an Explosion Magic in the living room, the echo would be amazing, wouldn't it?""Forbidden! Absolutely forbidden! If you dare use Explosion Magic here, I'll throw you into that mossy hot spring to feed the frogs!" Haru immediately threw a wet blanket over Megumin's idea, then turned to look at Darkness.The Crusader was standing at the foot of the stairs, stroking a slightly wobbly banister with a look of rapture, muttering to herself, "This eerie, terrifying atmosphere... this sense of crisis where an unseen hand could push me down the stairs at any moment... Ah, if I could be pinned against the wall by a ghost, with cold fingers sliding across my skin... I can't take it! I'm already prepared to welcome a spiritual humiliation that transcends the physical!!"Haru and Kazuma looked at each other and sighed helplessly."It seems the biggest trouble isn't the evil spirits, but these three teammates who might tear the house down or turn the atmosphere into an adult movie set at any moment."Haru complained.Just then, a strange noise suddenly came from the second floor."Thump! Thump! Thump!"It was the sound of heavy footsteps, like someone wearing iron boots walking on wooden floorboards.Immediately after, a sinister voice echoed through the empty hall:"Get... out... this is... my domain..."Aqua instantly hid behind Haru, clutching the hem of his clothes and trembling. "Waaaaah! There really is a ghost! Haru! Use your holy sword to slash it! I... I'll go give you guys buffs! I'll wait for you outside!"Kazuma, however, wore an extremely eerie smile. He drew the short sword at his waist (even though it was just for decoration), his eyes flashing with greed. "Hmph, a mere evil spirit dares to block my path toward a mansion lifestyle? Big brother Haru, since it dares to show its head, let's show it what 'wrath for the sake of a house' looks like! Let's go! Drag that show-off out and give it a bath in Holy Water!"Haru looked at the shadow on the second floor. Though he felt a bit creeped out, the thought of the hot spring and wine cellar made his courage explode instantly."That's right! For the house! For never having to smell horse manure again! Charge!!"PS:I was chatting with a big shot today and only then realized—is Konosuba actually very niche??I always felt Konosuba was the ceiling for Isekai stories -,-Finally, to be a bit shameless, could everyone send some free 'Power Generation'? I just found out there are requirements to get the full attendance bonus, and it seems my current earnings aren't quite enough -,-And one last question: do you prefer more original plot points or staying close to the main storyline?