Chapter 108: YunyunOn the plains outside the city of Axel, the setting sun dyed the grass a desolate orange-red.The air was filled with an unpleasant, viscous fishy smell—the characteristic scent of Giant Toad mucus."Help me! Haru! Kazuma! Save me! This toad's tongue is so gross, it's going to purify me!" Aqua let out a world-shaking scream. Her proud, royal blue long hair was currently inside the mouth of a hill-sized toad, and she was struggling frantically in mid-air like a dangling ornament.Not far away, Darkness was letting out bursts of unsettling, rapid panting.She wasn't in a hurry to draw her sword; instead, she spread her arms wide, letting another Giant Toad lick her thick Crusader armor until it was soaking wet."Oh... this slimy sensation, this humiliation of being completely suppressed by a monster... this is the kind of hunt I wanted!"Haru wiped the muddy water off his face and turned to look at Megumin, who was slumped on the ground, as immobile as a salted fish. "Hey, Megumin, since you've already finished casting your Explosion Magic, can't you at least help by cheering a little? This scene is a total disgrace to Adventurers.""Huff... huff... don't be ridiculous, Haru. Having released the ultimate magic, I don't even have the mana to move a finger now." Megumin lay on the grass, a mysterious pride in her eyes. "Rather than that, you'd better hurry and rescue that goddess who's being digested. She looks like she's about to become the toad's midnight snack."Just as Haru was about to rush toward Aqua, a crisp and slightly awkward voice came from a nearby slope."...Um, excuse me, is that Megumin?"Everyone turned their heads in unison.In the fading glow of the sunset stood a young girl wearing a dark Gothic-style dress.She had beautiful black hair, and her crimson eyes shimmered with the magical light unique to the Crimson Demon Clan. Her figure was developed far more grandly than Megumin's.She was wringing her fingers, a look on her face that was extremely gentle, perhaps even a bit humble."Megumin... thank goodness, I finally found you. Ever since you left the village, I've been so worried... Um, have you been doing well?" As the girl spoke, she quickly walked down the slope, her eyes filled with the joy of reunion.However, Megumin, who had been playing dead on the ground, showed a flash of extreme agitation the moment she saw the girl, but she immediately swapped it for an expression of utter indifference."...Who are you?" Megumin stared at the girl expressionlessly, her tone as flat as if she were asking a stranger for directions. "Which little lost lamb are you?"The girl's smile froze instantly, and she looked as if she had been struck by lightning. "Eh? Me-Megumin? What are you saying! It's me, Yunyun! Your classmate, your rival, your only... um, your only rival, Yunyun!""Yunyun? Never heard of that name." Meguminturned her head away nonchalantly and even let out a yawn. "Haru, Kazuma, do you know this strange, well-endowed woman? If not, just ignore her. She might be a spy sent by the Demon King's Army, trying to use this clichéd 'old acquaintance' routine to break our fighting spirit.""Hey, Megumin, this level of lying through your teeth has already surpassed the realm of tsundere, hasn't it?" Satou Kazuma couldn't help but retort. He looked at the Crimson Demon girl who was on the verge of tears, then back at Megumin. "No matter how you look at it, she's an acquaintance of yours, right? And she just called out your name!""I don't know her. My circle of friends doesn't include anyone so overdeveloped," Megumin said decisively."Waaaaah! Megumin, you're too much!" Yunyun finally couldn't take it anymore. Tears welled up in the corners of her eyes as she wailed, "Back at school, you used to steal my lunch every single day! We even got into a fight in the library over the last copy of 'Introduction to Taboo Magic'! How can you say you don't know me!"Haru looked at the tearful Crimson Demon girl, then at the guilt-ridden yet stubborn Megumin, and helplessly held his forehead."Um, Miss Yunyun, was it?" Haru tried to smooth things over. "While I also think Megumin is being a real brat right now, could you first help us rescue that goddess who's about to be swallowed by a toad? As a reward, we can consider making Megumin 'remember' you.""R-Really?!" Yunyun looked up sharply as if grasping a lifeline. Though she was still sobbing, a powerful magical glow began to condense in her hands. "Leave it to me! As long as I can get Megumin to talk to me, a few mere toads are... Take this! Light of Saber!"With a sharp cry, the blade of light precisely sliced through the Giant Toads that were attempting to devour Aqua and Darkness.Following several dull thuds of bursting, the once-overbearing toads were instantly sliced into two neat halves, and viscous green fluid sprayed across the grass like a fountain."Waaaaah! I'm saved! I was almost about to hold an Axis Order sermon inside a toad's stomach!"Aqua crawled and scrambled out from the toad remains, soaking wet and crying hysterically. Her originally holy image of a goddess had long since crumbled to dust.Darkness, on the other hand, wiped the mucus off her face with a look of regret, her tone full of disappointment. "...What a shame. That toad's tongue was just about to reach my core defenses... However, this girl's magic is indeed very impressive."Haru and Satou Kazuma stood frozen in place, their mouths agape."Hey, Haru... did you see that?" Kazuma pointed with a trembling finger at Yunyun, who was drawing back her magic. "She just used such powerful magic, yet she didn't collapse into a pile of limp meat like a certain someone? And... she looks like she can still cast other spells?""Is this... a normal member of the Crimson Demon Clan?" Haru also fell into deep self-doubt. "So it turns out not all Crimson Demons are one-shot men or one-shot women who can only fire once a day. This combat efficiency, this mana control... just what kind of big trouble did we recruit before?"The two of them looked in unison at Megumin, who was still lying on the ground, trying to hide her face with her bangs."Megumin, stop playing dead." Haru walked over and lightly kicked her shoulder with his toe. "She just saved our lives. Are you still going to insist you don't know this... well-developed Miss Yunyun?""Hmph... honestly, you mortals are so easily deceived by such flashy low-tier magic." Although Megumin's tone was firm, her voice clearly carried a tremor of guilt. "How can magic that only slices toads be compared to my ultimate Explosion Magic? As for this lady... I really, truly, don't have a single shred of memory of her. She's probably some junior from the Crimson Demon Clan who admires me."Hearing Megumin's near-rascally statement, Yunyun's entire body shook with rage. Tears swirled in her eyes until finally, as if making a massive resolution, she suddenly leaped back a distance."I see... Megumin! You really won't admit it unless I go this far?!" Yunyun shouted. Enduring her shame, she crossed her hands in front of her chest and then snapped them outward to her sides, striking an extremely exaggerated pose full of chuunibyou flair.A red light unique to the Crimson Demon Clanflickered in her eyes. Though her cheeks were so red they seemed about to smoke, she still declared in a crisp, loud voice:"My name is Yunyun! I am the greatest sage of the Crimson Demon Clan, the successor to the future clan head! I am also the one who aspires to defeat that idiot who only knows how to set off fireworks, Megumin, and become the world's strongest mage!"After finishing this declaration, Yunyun looked ready to explode on the spot from embarrassment. She covered her face and whimpered softly, "Uuuu... is that enough? You meanie! Just admit it already!"The four of them fell into a brief silence."...Ah." Megumin finally uttered a sound. She slowly propped herself up, brushed the dust off her robe, and said with a winner's composure, "So it was Yunyun. Why didn't you just say so? You had to make such a big fuss; you really are a show-off.""You're the one who forced me! You definitely forced me!"Yunyun completely broke down, rushing forward to frantically shake Megumin's shoulders.
Chapter 109: Junior? Rival?The afterglow of the setting sun cast long shadows across the plains. The air was thick with the smell of viscous Giant Toad fluids and... that headache-inducing, chuunibyou bickering unique to the Crimson Demon Clan."I'm telling you! Yunyun, that light blade of yours that can only slice toads is like a child's toy compared to my Explosion Magic!" Megumin was being carried over Kazuma's shoulder like a sack of potatoes, but her mouth wouldn't rest for a second. "A true mage pursues the ultimate romance, the aesthetic of destruction that erupts in a single instant! Someone like you, who chases stability and efficiency, isn't even fit to call yourself my rival!""Wuu... But, but if I hadn't stepped in just now, everyone would have been eaten by the toads!" Yunyun followed beside them, her face flushed with anxiety as she fidgeted with her hands in front of her chest. "Besides, Explosion Magic can only be used once a day, and someone has to carry you afterward. In a real battle, that's just being a burden to your companions! You've always been like this since school, Megumin—you can't even scrape together enough for lunch, yet you still act like you're number one in the world...""That is to temper my will! What do you know! You overdeveloped loner who only relies on such underhanded means to attract the gaze of the opposite sex!""Lo— Loner?! I-I'm trying my best to make friends, too! I just greeted Mr. Lin Jin very politely!"Tears were already welling up in Yunyun's eyes, and her voice took on a sob.Haru and Satou Kazuma glanced at each other. Their eyes met in mid-air, instantly completing countless information exchanges in the name of their 'Scum Alliance'.(Haru's look: Hey, Kazuma, did you see that? That's a proper Crimson Demon! She can cast Advanced Magic, fight continuously, and... she looks super easy to bully!)(Kazuma's look: I get it! I totally get it! Compared to that explosion maniac who can only fire once a day, this Yunyun is like a goddess descended! And did you see the way her chest jiggled during that declaration? That is the weight of justice!)"Ahem! Alright, alright, you two Crimson Demon elites, stop fighting." Haru quickly put on what he thought was his gentlest smile and interrupted their quarrel. "Miss Yunyun, thanks to you just now. As a token of our gratitude, how about we treat you to a feast at the best tavern in Axel tonight? Also, we'd love to hear about Megumin's... heroic deeds back at school.""Eh? R-Really? Is that okay?" Yunyun froze, her tears instantly retracting as they were replaced by a look of overwhelmed joy. "Treating me to a meal... and wanting to hear me talk? Is—is this the legendary 'dining with companions'? Does this mean I can become everyone's friend too?""Of course! In fact, we'd very much welcome a powerful and sensible teammate like you to join us!" Satou Kazuma chimed in, rubbing his hands together eagerly. "Compared to a certain explosion maniac who only eats us out of house and home, Miss Yunyun, you are simply our party's savior!""Hey! You two! Poaching someone right in front of me is way too blatant!" Megumin struggled wildly on Haru's shoulder. "Yunyun! Don't you dare agree! These two guys are both perverts! They'll eat you alive!""It's okay, Megumin!" Yunyun was completely immersed in the immense happiness of making friends, her background seemingly blooming with little pink flowers. "Mr. Lin Jin and Mr. Kazuma both seem like very good people! Since they've invited me so sincerely, I—I can't be rude, right?"Haru and Kazuma exchanged another 'all according to plan' scummy look.Inside the Axel Adventurers Guild tavern, the lights were bright, and the noise was loud enough to lift the roof.At a long table covered with roasted whole pig, fried chicken legs, and several bottles of expensive sparkling wine, Haru and Satou Kazuma sat on either side of Yunyun, wearing the kind of brilliant smiles only professional scammers possess."Come, come, Miss Yunyun, don't be shy! This is Axel's most famous Giant Toad Leg Tempura. You worked hard just now, eat more!" Haruenthusiastically piled food onto Yunyun's plate, his tone so sincere it could bring one to tears. "A Crimson Demon who is powerful, polite, and as cute as you is simply a miracle in the Adventurer world!""Exactly, Miss Yunyun." Kazuma skillfully poured wine on the side, his eyes flashing with calculating light. "You see, while our party might look a bit... special, we're actually lacking in core combat power. If we had a master like you who can continuously cast Advanced Magic, wouldn't we be able to walk tall anywhere? When the time comes, we can split the rewards fifty-fifty... no, even forty-sixty is fine!"Yunyun clutched a chicken leg, tears of emotion welling in her eyes.In all her years, this was the first time she had been surrounded and cared for by so many people, the first time she felt the warmth of being needed."Wuu... Mr. Lin Jin, Mr. Kazuma... you guys are such good people!" Yunyun sobbed as she took a bite of the chicken leg, speaking indistinctly. "No one has ever been this nice to me... Everyone usually avoids me or thinks I'm a weirdo... I—I'm really so moved...""Then it's settled!" Haru slammed the table, making a move to pull out his Adventurer Card. "No time like the present, tonight you officially join our—""W-Wait a minute!"Just as Yunyun was about to nod, her peripheral vision caught Megumin sitting opposite them, stuffing cake into her mouth while letting out a mocking sneer."Hmph, Yunyun, as expected, you're still so easily bought." Megumin patted the crumbs off her hands, her eyes reflecting a wisdom that saw through everything. "Once you join this party, you won't be my rival anymore; you'll be my junior. You'll have to follow my orders every day, help me polish my staff, and even be responsible for washing my clothes after I use Explosion Magic... Are you sure this is the competitive relationship you want?"Yunyun's body suddenly stiffened.She put down the chicken leg, her mind—which had been clouded by emotion—instantly cleared.She looked at Megumin, then at the faces of Haruand Kazuma, which were written all over with a hunger for labor."...S-Sorry! Mr. Lin Jin, Mr. Kazuma!" Yunyun stood up abruptly and bowed deeply to them, her magnificent chest swaying violently. "While your invitation made me very happy, my pride as a Crimson Demon won't allow me to join as I am now! I came to Axel to defeat Megumin and prove that I am the stronger mage! If I join her party before defeating her, I won't be able to hold my head up for the rest of my life!""Ehhh—?!" Haru and Kazuma let out simultaneous cries of despair."So, although I really want to be friends with everyone, as for joining the party... please allow me to decline for now!" Yunyun's face was red, but her gaze was exceptionally determined. "I will continue to train hard as a solitary mage until the day I can defeat Megumin fair and square! When that time comes... if you're still willing to invite me then..."Having said that, as if afraid she would regret it, Yunyun grabbed the two remaining pieces of bread on the table, covered her face, and quickly ran out of the tavern.A deathly silence fell over the tavern."...Haru, did we just waste our money?"Kazuma looked at the table full of expensive leftovers, his tone filled with despair toward the world."...Calm down, Kazuma." Haru wiped his face, his gaze becoming extremely sharp. "At least we know this girl is indeed an honest person who values her feelings. As long as Megumin is still in our party, she'll fall into our trap sooner or later... But for now, I just want to finish this meal. Every bite is our hard-earned money!"
Chapter 110: Personal VendettaSaturday noon sunlight streamed through the massive stained-glass windows of the mansion, spilling over several people sprawled haphazardly across the leather sofas."Ah—is this the life of the rich? Haru, pour me another glass of that grape juice from Alcanretia. I feel like my soul is being purified by this extravagant aura."Aqua, wearing a silk bathrobe and completely lacking any semblance of a goddess's image, lay on her back while clutching a piece of premium ham left over from last night."Don't you have hands? Besides, I paid a fortune to Wiz for that special product—supposedly, drinking it increases your luck. Even though I think there's a 99% chance I was scammed, it was Wiz, so I was willing."Haru sat with his legs crossed, looking like a total degenerate who had already won at life and didn't want to be bothered.Satou Kazuma, meanwhile, was skillfully counting the remaining eris by his side, muttering to himself, "Treating Yunyun to dinner last night cost 35,000, buying booze cost... Tsk, Haru, we need to be careful with our spending. I'm really worried Aqua's going to pull something big on me."Amidst this harmonious atmosphere thick with the scent of decadence, the heavy doors of the mansion were met with a polite yet firm knock.Then, Sena—the royal prosecutor who always wore a crisp uniform and had an expression as serious as a stone—strode inside.Seeing the scene of debauchery in the living room, the corner of Sena's eye twitched slightly, but she quickly regained her composure.After a period of observation, she had come to realize that while these people were essentially the cancer of Axel, they truly possessed extraordinary talents in critical moments."Everyone, it seems you had a very pleasant night," Sena cleared her throat, her voice echoing in the spacious living room. "Mr. Lin Jin, Mr. Satou, I apologize for disturbing your rest. However, there is an emergency. The Guild believes that only a... non-traditional party like yours is suitable for this.""Eh—? A quest?" Aqua let out a groan of annoyance. "Miss Sena, we're currently on paid leave, you know? Unless the reward is high enough for me to buy that solid gold Water Goddess Statue...""The reward is very generous, and this is a direct nomination from the Lords Mansion." Sena paused and spread out a map, pointing to a hilly area outside the city. "Recently, a group of monsters called Running Lizards has entered their breeding season. Usually, they're just a bit fast, but during this period, the males become extremely violent to compete for mating rights and will charge in packs through any obstacles in their path.""Running Lizards?" Haru put down his book, his brow furrowing slightly. "I remember those things having pretty hard shells and being incredibly fast?""Correct." Sena nodded, a hint of gravity in her eyes. "Worse still, their path happens to cross Axel's primary farming region. If left unchecked, this year's harvest will be completely lost. The goal of the mission is to intercept and eliminate these lizards in heat. It sounds simple, but because of their massive numbers and extreme speed, ordinary Adventurerparties find it difficult to stop them without sustaining injuries.""L-lizards... in heat and... violent?"Darkness, who had been silent until now, suddenly looked up. Her breathing grew rapid, and a suspicious flush crept onto her cheeks."Are you saying that hundreds, even thousands of incredibly strong beasts that have completely lost their reason and only know how to charge madly are rushing toward us? And these monsters are in an excited state for... that kind of purpose?""...From a biological perspective, yes."Sena looked at Darkness, who had suddenly entered her 'mode,' with a look of confusion."Ohhh...! A scene where one is trampled and struck by countless beasts in heat, even being coiled by their powerful tails and flung into the air...!" Darkness suddenly stood up and grabbed Haru's arm with incredible strength. "Haru! We must take this quest! As a Crusader, I absolutely cannot allow those poor crops to be harmed! Please let me stand on the front lines and use my body... no, my shield, to endure all of their fury!"Haru looked at the drooling Darkness, then at the expectant Sena, and finally exchanged a glance with Kazuma, whose eyes were also shining.In the luxurious Dustiness mansion living room, the atmosphere suddenly shifted, feeling like a secret meeting of an international crime syndicate dividing their loot."I say, Miss Sena, isn't this a bit insincere?" Haruleaned back on the leather sofa, nonchalantly swirling a glass of expensive red wine (which was actually grape juice Aqua had secretly diluted with water). "Those are Running Lizards! Hundreds of them! And in heat! Do you know what that means? It means we're not just facing physical collisions, but mental... uh, visual pollution! You're offering this little for such a high-risk, high-mental-damage quest?""Exactly, Miss Sena," Satou Kazuma chimed in, wearing a look of deep distress. "Look at our party: a loli who can only set off fireworks, a masochist who can only take a beating, and a useless goddess who can't do anything but purify water. Haru and I are leading this team at the risk of our lives! Can't you squeeze out just a little more from your thick administrative budget... even some of those Late-night Diner vouchers would do?"Sena pushed up her glasses expressionlessly, her grip on her briefcase so tight that the leather let out a faint groan."Mr. Lin Jin, Mr. Satou, please put away those faces that look like migrant workers who haven't been paid," Sena's voice was cold enough to drop ice shards. "300,000 eris is already the absolute upper limit the Guild can offer. If you bargain any further, I can only assume you are flouting royal authority and will consider placing you at the top of Axel's Unwelcome Adventurer List."Haru and Kazuma looked at each other, both thinking, *Tsk, this woman is tough.*"Fine, since the monetary rewards have hit a ceiling..."Haru's eyes darted around as a blond-haired punk with a mischievous smirk who was always scamming people suddenly came to mind—Dust.Last time, that guy had screwed over him and Kazuma at the execution ground.A devilish arc curved onto Haru's lips. He lowered his voice and leaned toward Sena mysteriously."How about this, Miss Sena? We'll take the original reward, but... as an extra perk for this mission, can you use your authority to find a way to help us mess with that bastard named Dust?""Dust?" Sena's brow arched slightly."Exactly! That blond hoodlum who calls himself Axel's strongest warrior but actually spends all day mooching off women and scamming rookies!" Kazuma also got excited, speaking through gritted teeth. "He's definitely a greater danger to Axel than Haru and I combined!"Haru had expected to need more persuasion, but to his surprise, the moment Sena heard the words "mess with Dust," her eyes instantly brightened, even carrying a hint of... relief?"Deal," Sena replied almost instantly, her tone even becoming slightly lighthearted. "In fact, the complaint letters about that guy in the city have already piled up on my desk. That man is simply not human.""Ohhh—!"Haru and Kazuma couldn't help but high-five in the air, letting out the maniacal laughter of successful villains."Excellent! In that case, we'll take the quest!" Harustood up spiritedly with a grand wave of his hand. "Aqua, stop drinking! Megumin, go polish your staff! Darkness... wipe that look of expectation off your face!"
Chapter 111: The Perfect PlanThe group left that mansion, which was filled with the scent of decay, in a grand and imposing manner.Haru and Satou Kazuma walked at the very front, their steps so light they were almost dancing, with identical evil smiles on their faces that were enough to make a child on the side of the road cry."Hey, Haru, did you see that? The way Miss Senapulled out those handcuffs just now was totally cool." Kazuma lowered his voice, his tone filled with the satisfaction of long-awaited revenge. "I'm already imagining the look on Dust's face when he gets dragged away later. That guy dared to scam us last time; today I'll show him that a gentleman's revenge is never too late, even if it takes ten years.""This is what they call 'heaven's justice for the wicked,' though I suppose we're the wicked ones too." Haru casually straightened his collar, his eyes glancing back at Darkness, who was walking at the rear with a flushed face and constant panting. "But rather than messing with Dust, I'm more worried about whether Darkness will charge straight into the lizard swarm and use herself as bait. Kazuma, remember to bring rope; we might need to tie her to a tree if necessary."When the group pushed open the heavy doors of the Adventurers Guild, the tavern was at the peak of its afternoon bustle."—So I'm telling you! I'm the man destined to defeat the Demon King! A monster of that level from yesterday? I only needed one sword strike—just like that, swish—and it was cut in half!"In the center of the tavern, Dust was standing on a table, holding a large mug of cheap ale, bragging loudly to several newly joined rookies while spitting everywhere.His blonde hair looked particularly eyesore-bright under the sunlight, and the arrogance on his face was practically overflowing."Whoa! As expected of Big Brother Dust!" The rookies let out gasps of admiration.Just as Dust was preparing to continue bragging about his dragon-slaying achievements, a voice as cold as a polar wind interrupted him."Mr. Dust, you seem very energetic. Since you're so free, I'm sure you wouldn't mind making a small contribution to Axel's municipal development?"Dust's smile froze on his face.He stiffly turned his head and saw Sena with a grim expression, and standing behind her, Haru and Satou Kazuma were giving him 'kind' smiles."S-Sena? What are you doing here?" Dustswallowed hard, instinctively wanting to jump off the table and slip away. "I didn't cause any trouble today! I swear, the one who broke the tavern window wasn't me; it was a passing stray cat!""Cut the chatter." Sena's movements were terrifyingly practiced. With a crisp click, the special Mana-Sealing Handcuffs were precisely locked onto Dust's wrists. "Given your long-term delinquency on fines, your credit score being in a severe deficit, and your involvement in multiple cases of defrauding rookies, I am now executing mandatory community labor on you in accordance with Article 44 of the Axel Public Order Management Regulations.""Eh—?! Wait, wait! Mandatory labor?! I'm a free Adventurer! I have the right to refuse—""If you refuse, you'll be sent straight to prison for three months, where the food is only black bread and cold water." Haru stepped forward and patted Dust's shoulder affectionately, smiling like a devil. "Don't worry, Dust. We've prepared a position perfectly suited for a'strongest warrior' like you—intercepting the swarm of Running Lizardss in heat. We'll put you on the front lines so you can show off your'swish' swordsmanship to your heart's content.""L-Lizards in heat?!" Dust's face instantly turned pale, and his legs began to tremble uncontrollably. "Haru! Kazuma! You two bastards! This is using public office for a private grudge! This is blatant revenge! Help! Murder!""Scream all you want, Dust. Even if you scream until your throat is raw, no one is coming to save you." Satou Kazuma wore a typically sadistic expression and gave Sena a thumbs-up. "Miss Sena, great job. Please make sure to cuff his feet too, so he doesn't run faster than the lizards later."Under the sympathetic (though mostly schadenfreude) gazes of the other Adventurers, a dejected Dust was dragged out of the guild by Senalike a dead dog, while Lin Jins Party prepared to head to the interception point outside the city under the terrified stares of onlookers.On the narrow path leading to the hills outside the city, Haru and Satou Kazuma walked side by side, their heads huddled together as they used a twig to sketch on the muddy ground. The sinister smiles on their faces made the handcuffed Dust beside them feel a chill all over."Listen up, everyone! After rigorous logical deduction and strategic analysis by Kazuma and me, a perfect plan that will go down in Axel's history has been born!" Haru suddenly stood up, pointing the twig toward the distant rising hills, and announced with high spirits, "First, we need two indestructible and highly attractive baits. Darkness, with your proud defense and that... cough, expression of longing to be ravaged, you are a top-tier bait tailor-made for this swarm of lizards in heat!""Oh...! Top-tier bait...! To be targeted by hundreds or thousands of rampaging beasts..." Darkness hugged her arms tightly, her breathing completely out of rhythm, and her cheeks so red they looked like they were about to drip blood. "Haru, you truly understand me! Please, you must put me where the impact is most violent!""And then there's Dust!" Satou Kazuma looked at the dejected blonde delinquent beside him with a sadistic face. "As Axel's strongest warrior, you will of course fight alongside Darkness. We'll tie you to a wooden stake next to Darkness to ensure you don't ruin the perfect encirclement with a 'tactical retreat.' Don't worry, your screams will surely be the best bait to attract the Lizard Princess!""Hey! Why do I have to be tied up?! This is just an execution! This is a public execution!" Dust struggled frantically against the handcuffs, letting out a desperate cry. "Haru! Kazuma! You two demons! I curse all the fine wine you buy to turn into plain water!""Aqua!" Haru ignored Dust's pleas and turned to the goddess who was squatting by the road playing with ants. "Stop playing! Hurry and cast all your buff spells on me, Kazuma, and Megumin! We need to face this battle of justice in peak condition!""Tch, I really can't do anything with you guys. For the sake of 300,000 eris, I'll let you witness the power of a goddess!" Aqua stood up, gracefully waving her folding fan, and a holy light instantly enveloped the three of them. "Speed Up! Luck Up! Power Up! There, now you guys could even take on the Demon King one-on-one!""The final step of the plan!" Haru looked at Megumin, who was rubbing her hands together, a red light already burning in her pupils. "Kazuma will climb the tallest tree and use his [Snipe] skill to find and kill the leader of the swarm—the Lizard Princess—to throw the pack into chaos. I'll be responsible for roaming the field to provide support at any time. Finally, when all the lizards are gathered around the bait... Megumin!""Leave it to me!" Megumin held her staff high, her cloak fluttering in the wind. "I will use the most magnificent, most shocking, and most death-threatening blast of Explosion Magic to turn everything—including what Dust and Darkness feel—into ashes!""Wait, why am I getting blown up too?!" Dust's scream echoed through the skies.Haru and Kazuma locked eyes again, simultaneously revealing the evil smiles of a successful plan.
Chapter 114: Total CollapseJust as Haru and Satou Kazuma were immersed in the illusion of being master strategists, planning their victory from afar, reality slapped them across the face at supersonic speed.The plan was indeed perfect, but both of them had overlooked exactly who would be executing it!"Oooooh! It's here! That wild aura, full of primal impulse and reckless abandon! This feeling of being completely submerged by countless strong limbs...! I can't wait anymore!"Darkness, who was supposed to act as a stationary lure, had completely lost control the moment the lizard horde appeared on the horizon.She completely ignored Haru's order to hold her position. Like a bull seeing a red cloth, she dragged her heavy armor and charged toward the galloping Dust cloud with an eerily excited speed!"Hey! Darkness! Get back here! This is an interception mission, not a suicide run!"Haru waved his hands frantically from the back, but his voice was completely drowned out by the sounds of Darkness's joyful panting.Meanwhile, on the other side, Dust, who was tied to a wooden stake, displayed an astonishing survival instinct.He actually bit through the rope with his teeth and, dragging his unlocked handcuffs, let out a heart-wrenching scream: "Help! I don't want to be trampled to death by those slimy lizards! Whoever wants to do this mission can have it! I'm out!"Due to extreme fear, Dust wasn't looking where he was going and charged straight toward Aqua, who was leisurely drinking beer."Waaaaah! You sweaty thug, don't come over here! Stay away from me! Stay away from this goddess!" Aqua jumped up in fright, spilling her beer everywhere.In her extreme panic, she subconsciously waved her folding fan, trying to drive Dust away, and chanted haphazardly: "Sacred High-Level Exorcism! No, wait! Sacred Provocation!"An incredibly dazzling golden light, radiating a "come hit me" aura, erupted from Aqua. The light was so intense it was like lighting a ten-thousand-watt bulb in the pitch-black night.The lizard horde, which had been rushing toward Darkness, slammed on the brakes.Those hundreds of male lizards, currently in heat and with brains full of mating desires, instantly found a new true goddess before that divine, seductive light.They turned their heads in perfect unison, even the panting in the air paused for a second, and then—"Hiss, hiss, hiss—!!!"Hundreds of lizards, as if they had seen the most delicious prey in the world, completely ignored Darkness who was right in front of them, curved around, and charged straight toward Aqua, who was slumped on the ground!"Eh...?" Aqua stared blankly at the green wave of flesh surging toward her, large teardrops instantly hanging from the corners of her eyes. "...Waaaaah! Why are they all coming at me?! Haru! Kazuma! Help! This group of perverts in heat is coming over here!"Even more despairing was that Darkness, having been ignored, saw the lizard horde bypass her and actually showed an expression of extreme disappointment and anger. She turned around, waving her hands while frantically chasing after the lizard horde, her voice heartbreakingly shrill:"Stop! You tasteless beasts! I was here first! Trample me! Come back and trample me!"Satou Kazuma, perched in the tree, dropped his Snipe bow to the ground. He turned his head to look at Haru, who was equally dazed, his tone filled with existential doubt:"...Haru, did I just hear the words 'the plan is perfect'? Is this scene of a goddess being chased by a lizard horde and a female knight chasing the lizard horde begging to be abused also part of the plan?"Haru wiped the cold sweat from his face and silently drew the staff from his waist, revealing a twisted smile that looked worse than crying:"...No, Kazuma. There is only one plan now—before Aqua gets completely broken by the lizard horde, we have to find a way to get the situation back on track."Just as Haru was trying to use his meager magic power to maintain his last shred of dignity as a commander, reality dealt him another heavy blow."Breath of Wind! Die, you reptiles that only know how to mate!" Haru waved his staff, releasing a weak wind pressure to slightly delay the lizard horde, while shouting at the top of his lungs toward Aqua, who was being chased all over the place in the distance, "Aqua! Stop running in circles! Run toward the tree where Kazuma is! Bring that Lizard Princess wearing the crown over here! As long as Kazuma kills it, this group of crazed male lizards will disperse!""Waaaaah! Haru, you heartless jerk! You're actually making me act as a lure to bait the Princess?! Is that a Princess? That's clearly a Godzilla!" Aqua was crying with tears and snot streaming down her face. Due to the double debuff of extreme fear and low intelligence, her brain completely filtered out the keywords 'Kazuma' and 'tree'.In her field of vision, she only saw Dust, who was running fast while dragging half a rope."Dust! Wait for me! You bastard, running so fast must mean you know where it's safe! Don't leave this goddess behind!"Aqua, as if grabbing a life-saving straw, erupted with agility beyond human limits and ran wildly, following straight behind Dust's backside.Meanwhile, on the other side, Dust was at the darkest moment of his life.He looked at the hundreds of lizards behind him with red glowing eyes and drool dripping all over the ground, then looked at Aqua, who was chasing behind him while still carrying the Sacred Provocation aura, and he was about to have a mental breakdown."Don't follow me! You plague god! Stay away from me!" Dust looked around desperately, finally locking his gaze on Haru, who was standing on a small mound giving orders. "Haru! You must have a backup plan, right! You must have set up some invincible trap there, right! Help—!"Upholding the simple logic of passing the disaster to others and that it's safest near the boss, Dust made a sharp turn, bringing the wailing goddess behind him, and the hundreds of lustful lizards like a tidal wave behind the goddess, and charged straight toward Haru with great momentum!"...Hey, wait, don't come over." Haru watched the battle line, which had originally spread out radially, now converge into a green torrent capable of destroying everything, crashing straight toward him—the last conscience of Axel. His smile froze completely. "Dust, stand still! Aqua, run to the left! To the left!""Haru—! Help—me—!"Aqua's scream was close at hand; Haru could even smell the fishy stench from the mouth of the lizard in the front.Satou Kazuma, in the tree, watched the scene of everyone performing a suicide charge toward Haru, silently threw the bow he had just picked up back down, and slumped against the tree trunk, revealing a Buddhist-like smile of having seen through the world: "Ah... it's hopeless. Haru, although we haven't known each other long, I will inherit your legacy well. Megumin, don't hesitate, while everyone is in the center, fire!""Wa—wait a minute! Kazuma, you beast! I'm still here!"Haru let out a final roar.And at the very back of the group, Darkness was running wildly while letting out a heartbreaking cry: "So cunning! You're all enjoying the collision there! Haru! I want to join too! Count me in too—!"P.S. Everyone, please remember to rate! If there is anything you are unsatisfied with, you can comment and tell me, and I will change it! Please, absolutely do not give bad reviews! I've really been a bit confused lately! Please bear with me, everyone! Love you all!
Chapter 115: My Body is Extremely ToughUnder the setting sun, the Rocky Hills were the stage for a "magnificent" march that would make any respectable historian burn their records on the spot.Haru pumped his legs desperately while waving his staff back at the pursuers, shouting, "Thunderbolt! Water Magic! Fireball! I don't care what magic it is, just hit something!"Several weak light bullets and sparks traced distorted arcs through the air. Some smashed into rocks, and one nearly clipped off half of Dust's ear, but not a single one hit the Lizard Princess, who was currently wiggling her plump body and wearing a crystalline crown."Hey! Haru! Did you learn your aim from Darkness?! Is that an attack or are you just setting off fireworks for our entertainment?!" Dust yelled a heart-wrenching retort while sprinting, while Aqua, behind him, let out an even more pathetic wail: "Waaaah! Haru, you almost singed my hair! This is a goddess's beautiful hair; can you afford to compensate me if it's ruined?! Help me, the lizard in front is already licking my heels! It's slimy and gross!"And so, an utterly ridiculous scene appeared on the wasteland:At the very front was the temporary commander, Haru, waving his staff and fleeing in a sorry state; following closely was the blonde thug Dust, dragging a broken rope with a face that screamed "I want to go home"; behind him was the useless goddess Aqua, crying piteously and radiating a tempting golden light; behind Aqua were over three hundred lizards with bloodshot eyes, letting out hissing shrieks of lust; and at the very end of the line, a Crusader in heavy armor was sprinting while letting out a bone-chilling, maniacal laugh:"Ha... ha... wait for me! You unprincipled reptiles, don't just stare at the goddess! Look at me! I'm the meat shield with the highest defense in the kingdom! Come on, crash into me, ravage me, trample me into the dirt to your heart's content! Ah... just imagining it makes me lose my footing...!""...These guys are hopeless. Truly hopeless." Up in a tree, Satou Kazuma was already considering how to explain to Sena later why the teammates had all gone insane before the quest even started.Just as Haru felt like his lungs were about to explode and Aqua was about to be completely submerged by the lizard swarm, a flash of inspiration hit him, and he let out a world-shaking roar toward the back:"Aqua! You idiot! Don't just cry! Throw that damn taunt magic of yours onto that horny masochist behind you! Hurry!!""Eh...? Throw it on Darkness?" Aqua blanked for a moment. Under the extreme threat to her life, her brain, which was usually in a state of stagnation, miraculously functioned for 0.5 seconds. "Oh, right! That pervert Darkness loves this kind of scene! Since she wants to be crashed into so badly, let her have her fill! Reflect Taunt! Go, Darkness! Become Axel's most brilliant bait!"Aqua spun around suddenly, pressing her hands together, and a golden beam ten times stronger than before accurately struck Darkness, who was opening her arms to welcome her happiness.In that instant, Darkness seemed to turn into a humanoid sun, emitting an aura of temptation that would drive every male creature within a ten-mile radius mad.The lizard swarm, which had been snapping at Aqua's heels, suddenly slammed on the brakes, with the ones in front even rolling several times on the ground due to momentum.As if pulled by some irresistible magnetic force, they turned their heads in unison toward the Crusader, who was now flushed and panting heavily."Hiss hiss hiss—!!!"The lizard swarm let out an unprecedented roar of excitement, abandoned Aqua entirely, and like a bursting flood, frantically changed direction and swept toward Darkness!"It's here... it's finally here! Ohhhhh! This is... exactly... the ultimate trial... I've dreamed of!"Darkness laughed wildly, threw away her longsword, and opened her arms to face the landslide-like impact head-on."Rumble—!"The next second, Darkness's figure completely disappeared into the green wave of flesh.Haru collapsed onto the ground, panting heavily. He looked at the mountain of lizards and at Darkness, who was occasionally visible and letting out cries of pleasure, and wiped away his sweat."...Phew, finally... the aggro is stable. Kazuma! What are you doing! Take this chance to Snipe that Lizard Princess down!"What was expected to be a decisive Snipe turned into a total disaster due to the meager biological knowledge of a certain self-proclaimed "luckiest" shut-in."Got it! Witness my heart-piercing arrow... Eh? Wait, why did that rhino-like lizard fall? Why is the crown on its head even bigger than the one Harumentioned?"Satou Kazuma stood on the tree branch, maintaining his archery stance, as cold sweat dripped down his temples."Kazuma, you idiot! That's the Lizard King! You shot their king dead! These male lizards aren't just in heat now; they've gone into a widowed berserk mode!"Haru watched the surrounding lizards' eyes turn from blood-red to purple-black, feeling the ground's vibration frequency nearly rattling his teeth loose.The previously somewhat organized charge had now become a chaotic, frantic stampede. Hundreds of lizards began to scatter like headless flies, seemingly about to bypass the defensive line and rush toward the distant farmland."Waaaah! Help! They've gone crazy! They're looking at everyone like they're the ones who killed their husband!"Aqua clutched her head and rolled around the ground, while Dust had already started trying to bury himself in a pile of rubble.In this critical moment when everyone was trembling with fear, a shout filled with a certain sacred (perverted) sense of mission suddenly erupted from the mountain of green flesh."Ha... ha... that's it! This sense of despair! This pleasure of being completely destroyed...!"Darkness suddenly thrust a hand out from under the weight of dozens of lizards. Her heavy armor was covered in scratches, her helmet was nowhere to be seen, and her long blonde hair was disheveled.Using an incredible feat of monstrous strength, she firmly locked down a small, ornate lizard that was trying to escape—the true Lizard Princess!"Haru! Kazuma! I've caught it!" Darkness let out a cry like a martyr, the flush on her face spreading to the base of her neck. "I've always wanted to feel... that Explosion Magic, hailed as the strongest attack magic, ravaging and violating my body, turning all will into nothingness! Quick! While all the lizards are surrounding me... Megumin! Don't worry about me! My body... is very hard—!"Haru and Satou Kazuma glanced at each other.The two saw a mutual understanding in each other's eyes, one that said, "This is scummy, but it'll work.""Since she's begging us like this..." Haru wiped the dirt from his face, revealing an extremely sinister smile, and nodded to Kazuma up in the tree."As her companions, it is our duty to fulfill the only lifelong wish she has."Satou Kazuma gave a serious thumbs-up, then quickly slid down the tree and hid behind a giant rock behind Haru."Megumin! Fire!" Haru swung his hand down, giving the final command."Understood... Since it's a companion's wish, I can only respond with the highest form of art!" Meguminraised her staff high, the red light in her pupils almost becoming tangible. The surrounding atmosphere began to tremble and wail violently, and crimson lightning gathered frantically at the tip of her staff."Darkness blacker than black and darker than dark, I pledge my crimson glow to thee! The time of awakening has come. The fallen chapters of the Absurd Church, manifest now as an intangible distortion!"Following Megumin's impassioned, chuunibyou chant, the air across the entire hill seemed to be sucked dry, and a suffocating pressure of magical power enveloped the field."Wait! I'm within the blast radius too! Save me—!"Dust let out one final scream.
Chapter 116: The Victor's SmileWith a thunderous roar loud enough to shatter every pane of glass for ten miles around, a crimson pillar of light shot straight into the clouds, and a massive mushroom cloud rose slowly from the center of the rocky hills.A violent shockwave swept through, engulfing the surrounding Dust, rubble, and those Running Lizards that hadn't even reacted yet, turning them all into a sky full of fine powder.The world fell into a deathly silence for a moment, with only the scorched air making a faint sizzling sound.Haru and Satou Kazuma poked their heads out from behind the massive, now-cracked boulder. Their movements were perfectly synchronized, and their faces were filled with an identical look of guilt.The air was thick with the smell of roasted meat and the pungent odor of metal melted by high temperatures."...Hey, Haru." Satou Kazuma swallowed hard, his voice trembling slightly. "Did you see that just now? In that flash of red light, it looked like a golden shadow flew higher than the clouds... That girl Darkness, she should... probably... be able to take it, right? Doesn't she always brag about being the kingdom's number one tank?"Haru looked at the giant crater at their feet, which was a full thirty meters in diameter. His lip twitched as he offered some forced comfort: "It should be fine... Even though that was Explosion Magic, I feel like Darkness is a pervert who can even take a direct hit from the Winter Shogun. Besides, when she was begging us earlier, she looked so happy. If we hadn't blasted her, she definitely would've regretted it for the rest of her life.""Exactly, exactly! You two, stop acting like murderers, okay!" Aqua brushed the Dust off her skirt and stood up with an indifferent expression. "Even if she was blown to ashes, as long as her soul is still around, this Goddess can resurrect her whenever I want. But... if Dust was blown to bits too, does that mean I don't have to pay him back?""Has your conscience been eaten by a Slime?!"Haru and Kazuma shouted in unison.With uneasy hearts, the three of them slowly shuffled toward the center of the explosion.In the middle of that steaming crater, they saw a scene that could be called a miracle... or perhaps a nightmare.Darkness's armor was completely shattered, with only a few remaining metal fragments hanging off her body, and her once-magnificent cape had been reduced to charred strips of cloth.She was lying spread-eagled at the bottom of the pit, white smoke rising from her body, yet her face bore an incredibly eerie, holy-looking (perverted-looking) smile of satisfaction."Haah... haah... This... this feeling of being completely enveloped by the white light of destruction... as if my very consciousness is melting... Megumin... well done... This is the... ultimate ravaging... I have always sought..."She let out a weak moan full of pleasure and even rolled over comfortably, her fingertips trembling slightly as if she were savoring the impact from a moment ago."...She actually didn't die." Satou Kazuma looked down into the pit with dead eyes. "Not only is she not dead, she looks even more energetic than before. This woman's defense... what on earth was she raised on?"Haru wiped the cold sweat from his forehead and took a deep breath. "I take it back. Darkness isn't the toughest person I've seen; she's simply not human. She's a Mithril Golem in human skin, isn't she?"Just then, a charred hand suddenly reached out from a nearby pile of dirt, and Dust's weak voice drifted out: "...Help... help me... Why... does nobody care about me... I was... caught in the blast too..."As for the culprit, Megumin, she was currently lying face-down on the edge of the pit, letting out satisfied snores, having completely entered a post-Explosion'Sage Mode' from mana depletion.The sun had completely sunk below the horizon when several staggering, oddly-shaped figures appeared before the gates of Axel.Haru and Satou Kazuma were on either side, carrying the completely unconscious Megumin like a sack of grain, drool dripping down her staff; Aquawas humming a tuneless little song called 'The Goddess's Triumph' while dragging the scraps of Darkness's armor—which was now little more than scrap metal—with a rope. Darkness herself followed behind with an incredibly twisted yet flushed gait, stumbling along while occasionally letting out an eerie "Hehe... hehe..." laugh.As for Dust, he was charred black like a piece of charcoal, with only his teeth showing white, limping along as he tried to blend in at the back of the group.When they walked into the Adventurers Guild, the normally rowdy tavern went silent for three seconds. Every Adventurer drinking there stared wide-eyed at this group that looked like they had just crawled out of a volcano."Oh! Haru! Kazuma! You actually made it back?!" Miss Sena ran over hurriedly with her briefcase, her eyes behind her glasses filled with utter disbelief. "What about the Running Lizards? What was that explosion sound coming from that direction just now?"Haru puffed out his chest without changing his expression, flashing a deceptively honest smile. "Miss Sena, please rest assured, the mission was a complete success. Though the process was harrowing, everything was under our control. We utilized Darkness's iron will and unparalleled defense to successfully lure the lizard pack into a pre-arranged ambush. Then, through the brilliant tactical coordination between Kazuma and myself, Megumin delivered a precise targeted strike, wiping out all threats in one go. As for the explosion... that was the roar of justice.""Exactly, exactly!" Satou Kazuma chimed in from the side without blushing or skipping a beat. "Especially Darkness; to protect the farmlands of Axel, she took the initiative to stand in the center of the blast to draw fire. That spirit of self-sacrifice... even I was moved to tears.""Haah... haah... No... no need for thanks... if it's for everyone... please... do it again..."Darkness let out a weak but ecstatic moan at the perfect moment, causing Miss Sena's suspicious gaze to instantly turn into one of admiration."So that's how it was... As expected of the daughter of Dustiness Family, such noble chivalry!" Miss Senasigned the form, moved. "Here is the mission reward, 300,000 eris in total. Also, in light of your outstanding performance, the guild will provide an additional subsidy for equipment repairs."Just as Haru was about to reach out for the heavy bag of coins, a charred figure suddenly squeezed in."Hey... wait a second..." Dust reached out a trembling, hairless, burnt hand, his voice raspy. "I... I helped too, right? I was the bait for half the day... Surely I should get a share of this money..."Before he could finish, three gazes filled with chill, contempt, and'say that one more time and see what happens' instantly locked onto him.Haru gave an incredibly wicked smile, his fingers lightly stroking his staff. "Dust, I seem to recall you biting through the rope and trying to desert? If I tell Miss Sena about that, how much longer do you think your detention period will be extended?"Satou Kazuma stared with dead eyes at the location of Dust's wallet. "Besides, we haven't settled the score for you leading that lizard pack toward Haruand me yet. How about we go to the back alley for a friendly chat right now?"Aqua went even further, planting her hands on her hips and announcing with an air of sacred inviolability: "You sweaty hoodlum! You actually tried to use this Goddess as a shield earlier! As punishment, your share of the reward shall be a sacrifice for the Goddess's mental distress! If you dare to object, I'll let you feel the meaning of divine punishment!"Surrounded by the three demons, Dust looked at those three pairs of eyes flashing with dangerous light. Cold sweat instantly washed away the charcoal on his face.He shrunk his neck back, gave a dry laugh, and retreated rapidly. "Ah... haha... just a joke, my brain must have been fried by the blast. The money... you guys keep it, keep it! I'm heading to the infirmary, goodbye!"Watching Dust's retreating back as he fled in panic, Haru weighed the heavy coin bag in his hand, exchanged a look with Satou Kazuma, and revealed a victor's smile.
Chapter 117: Can I Become an Adult Too?With yesterday's massive payment of 300,000 erisarriving, the morning in Axel for Haru and his group was filled with the fragrance of monetary corruption.In that mansion full of the atmosphere of daily life (and Aqua's expensive wine scent), sunlight lazily spilled onto the mahogany long table.Haru was holding a glass of high-grade mineral water—purified by Aqua herself, flavorless but absolutely pure—looking out the massive floor-to-ceiling window toward the front yard.Suddenly, his gaze locked onto the thick stone pillar at the gate.A girl with twin tails and red-and-black robes was sneakily peeking out with half her head. Her unusually full chest was faintly visible at the edge of the pillar, and her purple-red eyes were filled with the extreme conflict of "I want to go in but I have no reason.""Is that... Yunyun?"Haru put down his glass, a playful smile curling at the corner of his mouth."Hey, Kazuma, look. That lonely girl from the Crimson Demon Clan who calls herself Megumin's rival is out there playing Lurk again."Haru nudged Satou Kazuma, who was slumped on the sofa studying the "World Beauty Illustrated," with his elbow.Kazuma lazily looked up, glanced at the girl outside who was trying to shrink herself into a ball, and suddenly perked up. "Oh! It's Yunyun! Since she's already at the door, why not call her in to hang out? This house is ridiculously big anyway; having one more person to do chores... no, one more friend is quite nice."Haru walked to the door, pulled it open abruptly, and shouted toward the stone pillar, "Yunyun! Stop competing with that pillar to see who's harder and come inside! We just happen to need someone for morning tea!""Waaaah! I've been spotted!" Yunyun jumped in fright, frantically straightening her robes while her face turned so red it looked like it might bleed. "I-I'm just passing by! Really! It's just because the air here is good, so I stopped for a moment to breathe... It's definitely not because I was peeking out of envy for how happy you all look together!""Hmph, since you've begged me so much, I shall mercifully allow you to step into my domain." Megumin walked down the stairs with her arms crossed, looking tsundere. Though her tone was stiff, her frantically swaying ahoge betrayed her joy at seeing her friend. "Yunyun, even though you're still as gloomy as ever, as my rival, it's necessary to let you witness the luxurious life of a superior being once in a while."Yunyun walked into the living room trembling. Before she could even sit down, Haru and Satou Kazuma surrounded her from both sides, launching a relentless offensive of praise."My, Yunyun, you've become even more beautiful since I last saw you!" Haru put on a professional look of admiration. "This calm and steady aura is practically the mark of a future Crimson Demon Clan head. You're much better than a certain violent maniac who only knows how to blow up lizards!""Exactly, exactly!" Satou Kazuma nodded frantically, his eyes unconsciously drifting toward Yunyun's heavily heaving chest before he praised her with a righteous face. "Not only is your magic talent amazing, but this gentle and virtuous personality makes you the dream girl of every Adventurer in Axel! It's an honor for our mansion to have you as a guest!""Eh...? Ehhh?!" Yunyun had never seen such a display. She was being praised so much she felt like steam was about to come out of her. Her hands twisted together anxiously in front of her chest, and tears of emotion actually shimmered in her eyes. "Beautiful... dream girl... future clan head... Uuu, you guys... you guys are really too kind! No one has ever praised me like this... C-Can I come over often from now on?""Hey! You two bastards! Who are you calling a violent maniac right in front of me?!" Meguminstomped her feet in anger, but seeing Yunyun looking so happy she might faint, she could only mutter softly, "Tch, what an easy target..."In the spacious living room of the mansion, the originally warm atmosphere of praise began to sour within Megumin's eyes, which were gradually becoming brighter than rubies.Seeing Yunyun look so blissfully melted by Haru and Kazuma's praise, a strange competitive urge called "The Crimson Demon Clan must never lose" exploded in her mind."Hmph, Yunyun, that cheap charm of yours can only fool these two perverts whose heads are filled with lewd thoughts." Megumin slammed the table, jumped onto the sofa's armrest, and pointed down at the petrified Yunyun, making a declaration cold enough to freeze the air. "To tell you the truth, you've already lost completely! Because Kazumaand I... the two of us, during countless nights filled with the aftershshocks of explosions, have already developed a relationship that surpasses ordinary companions—even surpasses friendship!"Pfft—!!Satou Kazuma, who was about to take a sip of water to calm down, sprayed it directly onto Aqua's face. His eyes widened, and his finger trembled violently as he pointed at Megumin. "Hey! Megumin! What nonsense are you talking about?! What kind of relationship is 'that kind of relationship'?! At most, we've just discussed underwear styles by the campfire!""Shut up, Kazuma! At a time like this, just puff out your chest and admit it!" Megumin hissed a scolding, then continued her output against Yunyun. "So, Yunyun, you little brat who doesn't even have friends and can only practice greetings with a stone pillar, don't overestimate yourself by trying to challenge me, a mature woman, ever again! You and I are on completely different dimensions now!""Sur-Surpassing friendship...?" Yunyun felt as if she'd been struck by lightning. She curled up in distress, tears swirling frantically in her eyes. "You're lying... We clearly promised to stay single Crimson Demons for life... We clearly said we'd keep competing until we found friends... Megumin actually... actually became an adult before me? Waaaah, this... I absolutely won't accept this!"Seeing Yunyun look like she was about to break down on the spot from loneliness and a sense of defeat, Haru sighed.Although he enjoyed this "shura field," as the conscience of this home (self-proclaimed), he felt it was necessary to lend a hand—and pick up some benefits for himself while at it.Haru walked over to Yunyun with a gentle look (though it looked extremely predatory to Kazuma) and lightly patted her shoulder, resting his hand on the Crimson Demon girl's rounded shoulder."Don't be sad, Yunyun. Megumin's'surpassing friendship' is probably just at the level of washing each other's feet." Haru's voice was deep and magnetic. He looked directly into Yunyun's teary purple-red eyes and gave a smile that made Kazuma call him scum. "Since you feel so unwilling to lose to her, how about this—I also think you're very cute, Yunyun. If you're willing, I can also develop 'that kind of relationship' beyond friendship with you. And I promise I'll take care of you much more deeply than that useless Kazuma.""Eh...?" Yunyun froze, tears hanging on her long eyelashes as she stared blankly at Haru. "Mr. Lin Jin... also wants to develop a... relationship beyond friendship with me? In other words... I can become an adult too?""Hey! Haru! You're taking advantage of the situation!" Satou Kazuma finally reacted, pointing at Haru and shouting with jealousy. "What's with those lines for abducting an innocent girl! I want to say that to Yunyun too! No, Megumin, you explain it to me clearly—what do you mean by a relationship beyond friendship?!""Ha?! Haru, you actually want to get ahead of me?!" Seeing Haru's move, Megumin's smug expression instantly collapsed. She hurriedly jumped off the sofa and grabbed Yunyun's other hand. "Yunyun! Don't listen to him! This guy is a beast a hundred times more dangerous than Kazuma! That 'deeply' he mentioned is definitely not a wholesome word!"The living room instantly turned into a mess. Aquawas busy wiping her face, while Darkness, who had just come downstairs and heard words like "surpassing friendship" and "deeply taking care of," was already leaning against the doorframe, panting heavily with a flushed face.PS:My mental state is a bit broken. Actually, I've written a lot over the past two days, but basically anything involving Darkness doesn't pass censorship!!!Also regarding the main plot, I originally intended to go through all the main storylines. But if you guys don't like the main plot, I can re-plan the outline or add more original daily life segments.I've been getting all kinds of bad reviews lately, I'm so sad!!!If you have any problems, you can leave a message and tell me directly. I really read every single one of your comments. I'm someone who listens to suggestions, so please stop giving me bad reviews!!!The world of KonoSuba is really about finding joy in suffering. I'm not intentionally abusing the protagonist. I hope everyone tries not to self-insert into Haru or Kazuma's perspective while reading. If you must self-insert, just remember one thing: Aquais an idiot!
Chapter 118: Treating Me as Yunyun's SubstituteThe air in the mansion's living room seemed to be ignited, filled with a highly flammable and explosive gas known as a 'Shuraba.'Haru looked at Megumin's face, which was twitching slightly due to a guilty conscience, and a malicious curve appeared at the corner of his mouth.Like an interrogator, he leisurely crossed his legs, his gaze sweeping back and forth between Meguminand Satou Kazuma, whose face was the color of ash."Oh my, Megumin, since you've already said that much, don't hold back now." Haru drawled, a gleam of delight flashing in his eyes. "This so-called 'beyond friendship'—just how far has it gone? Is it at the level where you've confirmed how many moles are on each other's bodies, or... on some stormy night, did you complete a deep explosion filled with magic and an exchange of bodily fluids?""Pfft—! Bo-bodily fluids?!" Satou Kazuma, who was planning to slip away quietly, tripped over nothing and fell face-first onto the expensive carpet. "Haru, you bastard! Don't just make up lies that'll get me hunted down by the entire Crimson Demon Clan! Our closest contact was just me helping her bathe... No! That was when her magic was depleted and she couldn't move! That was sacred nursing work!""Ba-bathe...?!"Yunyun let out a cry as if her soul were leaving her body, her whole being swaying like a candle in the wind."Th-that's right! Exactly like that!" Although Megumin's face was so red it was practically smoking, her Crimson Demon pride wouldn't let her lose. She forced herself to puff out her flat chest and blathered, "We've already completed... a deep soul link! Witnessed by my Explosion Magic, we shared... shared Calories! Yes, sharing Calories! Kazuma gives me some of his meat to eat every day; that is the highest form of a love contract!""Isn't that just plain food-stealing?!" Haru ruthlessly exposed Megumin's lie, then turned around gently and softly took Yunyun's cold little hands."Don't listen to these two kids playing house, Yunyun." Haru's voice was so gentle it could drip water. He spoke loud enough for everyone in the living room to hear, "How can their calorie-sharing relationship compare to the adult socializing we're about to begin? Yunyun, you're so hardworking and gentle, yet you're always bullied by this tsundere violent maniac. From now on, let me fill the emptiness in your heart. Whether it's magic guidance or late-night heart-to-hearts, I will cooperate with you wholeheartedly.""M-Mr. Lin Jin..." The light of hope instantly sparked in Yunyun's eyes, which were on the verge of collapse. She gripped Haru's hand back like a drowning person grabbing a lifeline, her voice trembling. "Is it really okay? A gloomy, friendless idiot like me who has to practice saying hello for half a day... can I really develop that kind of... that kind of relationship with Mr. Lin Jin that even Meguminwould envy?""Of course. In fact, I've been looking forward to this for a long time."Haru gave a charming smile that could kill (his scheme had succeeded).At that moment, Darkness, who had been observing silently from the side, suddenly began to breathe heavily.Her thick breastplate rose and fell with her heavy panting, and her golden hair obscured her eyes, which had become somewhat glazed."Ugh... haah... Lin, Haru..." Darkness let out a suppressed moan, her hand unconsciously gripping the doorframe, her nails leaving deep marks in the wood. "Even though I'm standing right here... even though I've been covered in wounds to protect everyone... are you saying such words full of immorality and unfaithfulness to another girl right in front of me? This feeling of being completely ignored, treated like background scenery, and even watching with my own eyes as the man I fancy abducts a pure young girl... Ooh, this mental devastation... it's simply wonderful..."Although she said it was wonderful, a flicker of something called jealousy flashed in Darkness's eyes, barely detectable.Watching Haru hold Yunyun's hand, the sour feeling in her heart actually outweighed her masochistic pleasure—for a hardcore masochist, this was an abnormal situation more serious than the end of the world."Hey, Darkness, calm down! Your face is abnormally red!" Satou Kazuma watched from the side, feeling his skin crawl.The atmosphere in the living room took a 180-degree turn with Megumin's sudden burst of laughter.Forcing an expression that was about to crumble, Megumin suddenly stood up from the sofa, hands on her hips, and let out the kind of shrill laughter that only appears when trying to cover up extreme embarrassment."Ku, ku-ku-ku... Hahahaha! Yunyun, you didn't actually believe that, did you?!" Megumin pointed at Yunyun, who was already lost in a pink fantasy. The blush on Megumin's face hadn't faded, yet she forced a triumphant look. "I was just testing your willpower! I didn't expect the daughter of the Crimson Demon Clan chief to fall so easily for such a low-level trap! Oh dear, how disappointing. Yunyun is already starting to go into heat over men, and a guy with ulterior motives like Haru at that!""Eh...? A t-trap...?" Yunyun froze on the spot, her hand still subconsciously clutching Haru's sleeve."That's right! Next time I go back to the Crimson Demon Village, I'll definitely announce it loudly in the streets: 'That Yunyun who always acts so serious has actually become a shameless woman in Axelwhose head is full of lewd thoughts and wants to get married after just a few compliments from a man!' Everyone will surely look forward to that news, right?"Megumin spoke with increasing vigor, as if by belittling Yunyun, her own lie from earlier could be completely erased."Waaah! N-no! Please, whatever you do, don't say anything!" Yunyun's face instantly went from pink to the color of a ripe tomato, and steam even started rising from her head. She let go of Haru's hand as if she'd been electrocuted, so ashamed she felt like she might explode on the spot. "I-I just... I just thought Mr. Lin Jin was a nice person! I definitely wasn't thinking about anything strange! Waaaah, Megumin is a big dummy! A big pervert! I-I'm never talking to you again!"Yunyun let out a wail and, covering her face, dashed out of the mansion's front door like a gust of wind.Watching Yunyun's receding back, Haru and Satou Kazuma looked at each other and let out heavy sighs simultaneously."Hey, Megumin, that was way too much." Satou Kazuma looked at her with disdain. "You're the one who lied about some 'beyond friendship' relationship first, and then you ended up pinning the blame on pure Yunyun. This behavior is simply the shame of the Crimson Demon Clan."Haru chimed in, his tone carrying a hint of regret: "Exactly, Megumin. I was just about to show Yunyun the world of adults, but you went and ruined it. This is blatant jealousy, isn't it? Because Yunyun's breasts are bigger than yours, you used such underhanded tactics to attack her? Tsk tsk, what a narrow-minded brat.""Huh?! Wh-who's jealous of that Cow?!" Meguminjumped up like a cat whose tail had been stepped on. "I was saving her! Haru, that look in your eyes just now clearly meant you wanted to take her to some strange alleyway! This was a warning as a friend!"While the two were teaming up to denounce Megumin, the silent Darkness suddenly let out a heavy breath.She walked over to Haru's side. Though there was still a hint of jealousy in her eyes, it was mostly a nearly distorted sense of expectation."Lin, Haru..." Darkness's voice was low and husky, her blue eyes staring fixedly at Haru. "Since Yunyun has run away... those things you said about cooperating wholeheartedly and filling the emptiness in one's heart... can you... can you say them to me now? Regardless of whether you just treat me as Yunyun's substitute... even if it's just to punish this despicable knight who's jealous of her comrade... please, by all means... use even more excessive language to bully me...""...This one is beyond help."Satou Kazuma covered his face.
Chapter 119: More Weighty ElementsThe atmosphere in the living room became thick because of Darkness's immoral request.Haru looked at the Crusader before him, who possessed the top beauty in the kingdom yet had a mind full of fantasies of being ravaged, a sadistic smirk curling on his lips.He knew very well that although Darkness talked a big game, once someone actually took action, her pure-hearted noble lady nature would immediately throw her into a flustered panic."Oh? Since you've pleaded so sincerely, I'll be merciful and satisfy you a bit." Haru walked slowly toward Darkness, each step landing on the rhythm of her racing heart.He reached out and roughly grabbed Darkness's chin, forcing her face—filled with anticipation and shame—up to look directly into his eyes."Listen up, Darkness. Since you want to be treated as a substitute, from now on, you're no longer the proud Lady Lalatina. You're just a tool for my amusement, a doll to relieve my loneliness when Yunyun isn't around. Understood? Now, give me an expression that looks more like a doll."Haru lowered his voice, his warm breath fanning against the base of Darkness's ear."Ngh... ha... A d-doll...? Such a declaration of having my personality completely stripped away... Ugu!" Darkness's body trembled violently, her blurred gaze instantly becoming frantic.She looked at Haru's aggressive face so close to hers; she had expected some kind of painful punishment, but she hadn't expected this kind of soul-piercing humiliation.Her prideful rationality began to crumble, her hands instinctively shielding her chest as she protested incoherently, "W-wait... Haru... we're in the living room... Kazuma and Megumin are still watching... This kind of thing... at least go to... to an empty room... Kyaa!"Just as Darkness was about to faint from excessive excitement and shame, a crisp voice that completely ignored the atmosphere exploded in the center of the living room like a flashbang."Everyone!! Listen to me!! Let's go on a trip!!"Aqua suddenly jumped up from the sofa, waving a gaudy flyer she had gotten from somewhere, her face beaming with the kind of bright smile that only appeared when she found a sucker.Satou Kazuma, who had been squatting nearby watching the scene with a lewd expression, was so startled he almost strained his neck. He shouted crossly:"Hey! Aqua! Didn't you see we were right at the climax here?! What trip?! We just earned some money yesterday, and you're already thinking about how to blow it all today?!"The atmosphere in the living room shifted subtly due to Aqua's sudden shout.Darkness, who was being held by the chin and was about to evaporate from shame, took a giant step back as if grabbing a lifeline, her hands tightly shielding her chest, her breathing inside her helmet becoming rapid and erratic."A-Aqua is right!" Darkness's usually heroic face was now so red it looked like it might bleed. Her eyes darted around, not daring to meet Haru's aggressive gaze. "As a knight, indulging in this kind of corrupt mansion life for too long will dull one's will! Yes, I need a long journey, I need to go to... to a strange land to receive all kinds of unknown baptisms and hardships! Alcanretia... sounds very suitable for a heavy sinner like me to train!"Aqua's expression now looked a bit panicked. She fidgeted with her fingers, trying desperately to hide the large words 'Axis Order' on the flyer, her voice sounding a bit hollow:"Y-yes! Training! It's the famous City of Water and Art, filled with crystal clear springs everywhere. It's definitely not because my Main Headquarters or some fanatical believers are there! I just think... I think everyone's been working too hard lately and needs to wash their dirty... no, weary souls!""I agree too!" Megumin also raised her staff, her red eyes sparkling with excitement.Satou Kazuma and Haru glanced at each other, both wearing the same cold expression of having seen through everything."Rejected." Kazuma picked his ear and slumped back onto the sofa like a dead fish. "A trip? How much would that cost? Carriage fees, lodging, and that high-grade Bubbly Wine Aqua will definitely buy... We just got paid yesterday, and I haven't had enough of lying in my luxury bed yet. If you want to go, go yourselves. I'm going to be a quiet shut-in at home."Haru also crossed his arms, his tone teasing: "I'm not interested either. Instead of going to some Water City, I'd rather stay home and research how to make a certain doll a bit more obedient. Right, Darkness?"Hearing the word 'training', Darkness's body trembled uncontrollably again."W-wait! You two bastards!" Aqua stamped her feet in frustration, throwing out her final trump card with teary eyes. "Alcanretia has the top natural hot springs on the whole continent! And because it's a tourist resort, many high-end inns have special mixed bathing areas to attract tourists! Don't you want to be in a steaming hot spring with beautiful women... hehehe..."The air fell into a dead silence for three seconds."...Mixed bathing?"Kazuma suddenly sat bolt upright, a glint like a searchlight exploding in his eyes."...Hot springs?" Haru also rubbed his chin, his sadistic smile gradually becoming sunny and upright. "Come to think of it, we've been in this world for so long, risking our lives every day for a living against monsters. We really haven't properly enjoyed life. As the leader, I think Aqua's proposal is very visionary.""Exactly! This kind of activity to enhance comrade bonds and cleanse the body and mind is essential!" Satou Kazuma stood up righteously, moving so fast it was as if the person who wanted to be a shut-in just now wasn't him. "Money is but a worldly possession. Being able to see the happy smiles of my comrades in the hot spring (and other things) is an Adventurer's greatest wealth! Aqua, go prepare the carriage immediately, we're leaving right now!""Oh—! Let's go—!!"Aqua and Megumin cheered.Only Darkness kept her head down, letting out suspicious gasps while imagining the scene of being ganged up on by those two sadistic men, Haru and Kazuma, in the hot spring.Aqua was rushing toward the stables like a blue whirlwind to prepare the carriage, humming a self-praising, off-key song.In the corner of the living room, the two men, Haruand Satou Kazuma, were huddled together like insurgents plotting to overthrow the kingdom, their eyes shining with the same glint of what's known as 'men's romance.'"Hey, Haru, you heard that just now, right? That Aqua girl said mixed bathing, right? She definitely said it!" Satou Kazuma lowered his voice, his tone so urgent he sounded like he was about to run out of breath. "Even though that Intellectual Disabled Goddess's words can only be half-trusted, what if it's true? That's mixed bathing! It's the only oasis in this world full of violence, poverty, and explosion magic!"Haru patted Kazuma's shoulder with a deep expression, his eyes showing a wisdom that had seen through the world. "Kazuma, your perspective is still too small. Mixed bathing is good, but the point is who you're bathing with. While Aqua, Megumin, and Darkness's looks are certainly beyond reproach, seeing them every day leads to aesthetic fatigue. Don't you think our travel party is still missing some... more weighty elements?"Kazuma froze for a moment, then revealed a sadistic smile of sudden realization, slapping his thigh. "You mean... Wiz?! And Yunyun, who was just driven away in anger?! Oh oh oh! Haru, you really are a genius! If Wiz's rule-breaking figure enters the hot spring... guhehe, plus Yunyun, the Crimson Demon Clan's most well-endowed girl... this isn't just a trip, it's a pilgrimage to heaven!"The two hit it off immediately, letting out bursts of hair-raising, wicked laughter.