After three days and three nights of being jolted around, Kōichi and Kazuma rolled out of a freight wagon that reeked strongly of cabbage.
When they dusted themselves off and looked up, the Royal Capital's magnificent walls and the castle spires piercing into the clouds stood proudly before them.
"We're here... We're finally here!"
Tears filled Kazuma's eyes, as if he could already see countless maids waving at him.
"Goodbye, Axel, land of Giant Toads and idiot Goddesses! Hello, Royal Capital full of gold coins and freeloading!"
Kōichi also straightened his now-wrinkled tactical cloak, doing his best to put on the calm, dignified air of a royal guest.
The two marched proudly through the bustling streets of the Royal Capital, heading straight for the palace gates, the symbol of supreme power.
Unfortunately, reality always loved bringing the hammer down right when people were at their most smug.
When the two stood before the palace's enormous iron gates inlaid with gold leaf, ready to stride in as Princess Iris's closest friends, two crossed steel halberds mercilessly blocked their way.
"Halt! This is the royal palace. Unauthorized personnel are forbidden from entering!"
The Royal Guard Knight at the gate stared expressionlessly at the two disheveled young men who reeked of cabbage, his eyes filled with undisguised contempt.
"If you're here to deliver vegetables, go to the back gate. If you're here to beg, go to the relief shelter outside the city."
"Impudent!"
Kōichi immediately slipped into his smooth-talking routine, clasping his hands behind his back, raising his chin slightly, and speaking in an extremely arrogant tone.
"Open your eyes and look closely! We are close friends personally acknowledged by Her Highness Princess Iris! Now step aside at once and report inside that Kōichi-sama and Kazuma Satou-sama have arrived!"
"Yeah, exactly!"
Kazuma joined in from the side, riding on borrowed authority.
"Can you afford to delay Her Highness the Princess from meeting us?!"
The two Royal Guard Knights exchanged a look. Then one of them gave a cold laugh.
"Every day, at least eight or ten lunatics come here claiming to be Her Highness the Princess's friends. Yesterday, there was even a man claiming to be a General in the Demon King's Army who said he wanted to have tea with the Princess. Do you have a royal pass? Do you have a handwritten invitation from the Princess?"
Kōichi and Kazuma froze at the same time.
A pass? No.
An invitation? When the Princess left, she had been too busy feeling reluctant to part. She hadn't even left them a strand of hair.
"Uh... well..."
Cold sweat began to bead on Kōichi's forehead as he tried to gesture with his hands.
"We share a deep bond! We don't need something like..."
"No pass, then get lost!"
The Knight shoved them down the steps without mercy using the shaft of his halberd.
"If you dare spout nonsense here again, I'll throw you into the Royal Capital's dungeon and let you keep the sewer rats company!"
With a thud, the two were driven out into the square outside the palace.
Kōichi and Kazuma sat blankly on a bench beside the fountain, staring at the luxurious palace not far away, so close yet completely out of reach. A cold wind blew past, and their hearts felt colder than an Axel winter.
"Kōichi..." Kazuma clutched his head with both hands, his voice trembling. "Did we overlook one extremely important problem?"
"Yeah..."
Kōichi looked up at the sky, his eyes once again going as hollow as a dead fish's.
"We were so focused on the fact that the princess knows us that we forgot... the Knights guarding the gate don't know us. And even if we shouted at the top of our lungs right now, with the palace's soundproofing, the princess wouldn't hear a thing."
For the sake of their elusive Royal Capital freeloading dream, Kōichi and Kazuma made an extremely adventurer-like decision, which was really just them being shameless. They would stake the place out.
Like two weather-beaten stone statues, they crouched by the fountain not far from the palace gates, one on the left and one on the right.
They waited from the morning dew to the blazing noon sun, then all the way until sunset. Their stomachs had already rumbled countless times, sounding almost like Giant Toads in mating season.
"Gurgle, gurgle..."
Kazuma clutched his shriveled stomach with both hands, his unfocused eyes fixed on the ants crawling along the ground. His voice was so weak it seemed ready to drift away on the wind.
"Kōichi... I think I see my great-grandmother waving to me from across the river... She's even holding a freshly baked piece of buttered bread..."
"Hold on, Kazuma."
Although Kōichi was so hungry he was seeing stars, he stubbornly maintained his deep strategist act, even though he currently looked more like a vagrant trying to fake an accident for compensation.
"This is the darkness before dawn. As long as Her Highness Iris comes out for even a short walk, our fate will turn around instantly. When that happens, forget buttered bread. We could use roasted suckling pigs as pillows!"
Just as the two were filling their stomachs with empty promises, the palace's heavy solid-gold gates suddenly gave a deep creak and slowly swung open to either side.
A squad of fully armed royal Knights marched out in neat formation. Behind them came a magnificent pure-white warhorse.
The person on horseback wore gleaming silver armor polished to a shine, with a red cloak fluttering in the sunset wind. Her proud posture and sharp gaze looked as if they could pierce through anything that blocked her way.
It was not Princess Iris, but the Princess's personal guard, Claire!
Kōichi and Kazuma's unfocused pupils snapped back into focus. Like starving wolves spotting a meaty bone, the two sprang up from the ground.
"It's Claire! We're saved!" Tears of excitement filled Kazuma's eyes as he grabbed Kōichi's arm. "Sure, that woman has a nasty temper, but at least she knows us! Hurry up, go say hello and have her take us inside!"
Kōichi also felt that this was a heaven-sent opportunity. He immediately straightened his dust-covered cloak, put on what he believed was his most charming and inscrutable smile, and strode forward, even giving a flashy wave.
"Well, if it isn't Lady Claire!"
Kōichi's voice was bright and full of warmth, as if they were long-lost siblings.
"What a coincidence! Has Her Highness been well lately? We came all the way from Axel specifically to answer Her Highness's friendship! Come on, take us to see her!"
Claire had been surveying the area from horseback with a stern expression, but the moment she heard that familiar and extremely irritating voice, she yanked hard on the reins.
The warhorse let out a neigh and stopped in front of the two of them.
Claire looked down from above at these two men who reeked of cabbage and had hair like bird's nests. First, she froze for a full three seconds, as if she could not believe her eyes.
Then her heroic, commanding face twisted at a visible speed, and a black murderous aura that seemed almost tangible burst out from her.
"You... two... pests... from... Axel..."
Claire ground her teeth, each word squeezed out from between them. Her grip on the sword hilt tightened so hard that her knuckles turned white.
"Why... Why are you in the Royal Capital?! Are you still trying to lay your filthy hands on the pure and flawless Lady Iris?!"
"Oh, don't make it sound so awful."
Kazuma, who had no sense of the atmosphere whatsoever, stepped forward while rubbing his hands together with a fawning grin.
"We're Her Highness's close friends, so it's only natural for friends to drop by. By the way, does the palace provide meals? We haven't eaten in three days..."
"Clang!"
The clear ring of a sword cut Kazuma off.
Claire had already drawn the knight's longsword at her waist, its tip aimed straight at Kōichi and Kazuma's noses. Their terrified faces were even reflected in the cold blade.
"Royal Guard Knights, hear my command!"
Claire's voice rang across the square, filled with unquestionable resolve.
"These two suspicious thugs are plotting against the royal family! Seize them at once! If they dare resist... kill them on the spot! They must not be allowed one step closer to Her Highness!"
"Yes, ma'am!"
The surrounding Knights drew their swords in unison, instantly surrounding the two of them.
Kōichi's perfect smile froze completely on his face. He looked at the gleaming blades around them, then at Claire, who was brimming with murderous intent, and cold sweat instantly soaked his back.
"W-Wait! Lady Claire, there must be some misunderstanding!"
Kōichi raised both hands in surrender while frantically backing away.
"We really are here to visit a friend! You can't treat international guests like this!"
"Misunderstanding? I only believe that a dead pest is a good pest!"
Claire gave a cold laugh, leapt down from her horse, and charged straight at them with her sword in hand.
"Today, I will carry out justice here and cut off Her Highness's ill-fated bond!"
"Mommy! This woman's gone crazy! Kōichi, you disaster, is this what you call a reversal of fate?!"