I choose my happiness.
We sit down on the shore of the beach, sand beneath us.
A long day spend playing in the saltwater, laying in the sun, having fun.
It was wonderful.
You asked me to go out with you.
Even thought it was already quiet late.
Watching the sunset, our fingers find each other.
Interlock with each other.
Now the stars are out.
They shine bright above our heads.
Diamonds in the sky.
The moon seems less vibrant, but still bright.
It lights up the ground around us.
I finally understand what is meant then someone tells me about a moonlit path.
It's beautiful.
We are beautiful.
I know.
It was hard.
We had to fight.
I got lost so many times.
But now we are here.
Sitting on this beach, the warmth of the summer day slowly fading, being replaced by a chilling breeze.
You shudder at my side and cuddle closer.
Sit in my lap.
I wrap my arms around you.
Where the warmth of your skin touches mine it feels like sun rays are warming me.
We are quiet.
Say nothing.
Just enjoy the moment.
Gaze at the stars above our heads.
I feel my heart beating in the same rhythm as yours.
Hold you closer.
I don't want to let go.
You lean your head against my chest.
Look up at the stars.
I look down.
See your eyes.
I smile.
The stars are not the only thing shining like diamonds right now., I think.
Warmth and a quiet kind of ecstasy fills my heart.
It feels like it will burst from the happiness.
I want to tell you a thousand things.
I open my mouth.
You notice and reach out your hand, your finger gently pressing on my lips.
Not now., your silent message says.
I close my mouth again.
The sound of the waves is steady, continuing endlessly.
Once upon a time I was afraid of the water.
Afraid of drowning.
Now I'm not.
Not with you by my side.
Your breathing calms me.
I know.
I know that the fear will never fully disappear but with you by my side it's alright.
It's better.
I look up again.
A shooting star passes overhead.
Silently, I make a wish.
I hope it comes true.
Ah, finally I can hope again.
Without feeling like lying to myself.
It's alright now.
It's beautiful.
The sea, shimmering slightly in the light of the night sky.
The night sky with its diamonds.
The single cloud formed like a wing, right next to the full moon.
Both seem to glow in white and silver.
From the corner of my eye I notice your gaze.
Looking at my face instead of the sky.
The moonlight seems to sharpen your features.
But the smile on your lips is endlessly soft.
I turn your hand that I'm holding around, so that the palm faces skywards.
You tilt your head in confusion.
I take my other hand and slowly trace invisible lines over your skin.
Your eyes widen slightly as you understand my message.
I love you.
You smile brighter.
You lean upwards and kiss me.
A soft, but wonderful kiss on the lips.
Your response.
I love you too.
I smile brighter.
Since then have I been smiling?
I don't know.
Must have been the whole time.
Together we look up at the sky again.
We're like diamonds as well, I think, just not in the sky but on the earth.
I make a silent promise to myself.
A way to encourage myself.
A motto to live with.
Something I had know for so long but denied.
Had run away from.
Had forgotten.
This time I won't forget.
I choose to be happy.