POV Jess
Last night was long and grueling. After mine and Cole's confessional, I avoided him the rest of the night. I pretended to be too busy to give him the antibiotic so I asked Chloe to do it and she did without hesitation. Usually, she'd give me a hard time but this time she jumped at the favor.
Ellanor is a shell of a person, and for good reason, but it's nonetheless sad to witness. I don't know what's running through her mind anymore, probably a million things at once. Her time is limited, and trying to sort everything out and come to terms with fate can't be easy. Hospice met with her and when she's discharged in a couple of days comfort care will be provided. The poor girl never had a fighting chance. An aggressive chemotherapy regimen was in the talks but because the cancer is nearly all over her body and late-stage symptoms have already arisen, the quality of her short time would be compromised.
I'm meeting up with mom at five for dinner before my shift. I have forty minutes until I have to leave so I shower, put on black scrubs, curl my long hair that takes up the majority of the time, and apply some makeup. By the time I'm done getting ready, it's time to go.
I run down the outdoor stairs, protecting my hair from the rain, dart to my car, and manage to make it inside within thirty seconds. I look into my rear view mirror, so much for curling my hair, instead I end up with damp beach waves and somehow I like it better this way. I blast the heat in my white Audi, Halloween is two days away and it'll be yet another year of predicted rain and brisk temps.
I turn onto South Jackson Street and arrive at Joyale Seafood Restaurant seven minutes late. I park next to my mom's black 2025 BMW X5, the driver's seat is vacant so she must already be inside.
The waft of delicious Chinese food has my eyes nearly rolling in the back of my head. I glance around the crowded restaurant looking for Mom. I finally spot her at a redwood table, a similar shade to the carpeting. She stands as we greet each other with a side hug and I pull out a gold and black banquet chair, sit down, and push myself closer to the table.
Mom is dressed to the nines, no surprise. She's wearing a long-sleeve maroon dress that falls just above the knee, matching heels, a gold necklace that probably costs three months' rent of my apartment, and her brown Carmel hair is loosely curled, no doubt she thought of an umbrella.
"How are you, sweetie? It's been too long, you look…tired." Ma says grabbing my hand from across the table. I always liked Mom the most in our family but my god that mouth of hers does not know how to conceal insults very well.
"Well gee ma, yeah I am tired, work is crazy lately I don't have the luxury to sit in a spa all day getting massages left and right." The hostility in my tone has her spine straightening and her face falling.
I grunt in frustration, "Sorry."
She lightly shakes her head and sends her hair behind her shoulders, "Jessica, I didn't mean any harm, I'm just worried about you is all, you haven't been coming by, you look run down but I don't mean it as an insult I mean it as a concern mother sweetheart."
I roll my eyes, "I'm fine Mom, I'm a big girl okay?"
"I know sweetie, why don't you consider maybe working with Dad and Nicole, the hours aren't so grueling, you'd have a more normal schedule, weekends off.." I don't let her continue this bullshit again. The thought of working with Dad and Nicole makes me squirm. If I wasn't already on the edge of depression I'd be fully consumed by it the second I stepped into that office.
I raise my hand up, spreading all five fingers to indicate for her to stop, "No Mom, I have told you time and time again that'll never, and I mean never happen."
She scoffs at my stubbornness but I'm holding my ground. Her unrealistic expectations have me questioning her perception of reality.
"Besides Mom, you know better than anyone else that I'd have to do more schooling just to work in that office, I'm done, I'm not interested in that field anyway." I try to make her understand my point but like I said her perception of reality is long gone.
"It's only a little more Jessica, don't be so quick to dismiss it, I mean who knows what Nicole's life is going to look like soon, she's marrying the mayor's son, no doubt Dylan will be running one day and she'll be too busy to continue on working with dad." Ahh there it is, this isn't about my well-being at all, this is about dad and Nicole. What's going to happen when precious Nicole can't be part of the family business anymore? The disconnect from my family is growing rapidly with each passing day.
"Hire someone else," I try to conceal the pain I'm feeling with bitterness.
She ignores me and holds up her menu blocking my view, "Hmm I think I'll get the wanton soup, what about you?"
The topic is dropped and I hold up my menu as well, stomach growling but mentally lost my appetite, "I think I'll get the chicken with lemon sauce."
When our order arrives we're both quiet, tension thick in the air, we both don't want to be here anymore but neither one of us would ever admit that aloud. Mom takes tiny sips of her steaming soup and I cut the chicken on my plate dipping it into the lemon sauce. Mom's eyes are fixated on my plate, practically taking mental note of the number of bites I'm taking. I hate when she scrutinizes me like this. Just to get her judgment off my back I finish my plate, I'm filled to the brim and the accepting smile on her face doesn't go unnoticed by me.
Thankfully dinner is over, we walk out together, rain at bay now, and before getting in my car she reminds me to consider the job change. She's persistent I'll give her that, told her I'd consider it but I won't. Medical offices will never be for me, the only reason I'm still in this field is because the adrenaline, chaos, and feeling alive keep me there.