The Moon rose, shining it's light on the endless lives,each life telling it's onestory.
Noxan done his homework but his mind rivered to Sylas.
He came rose back to reality, realizing he had written his name multiple times by accident.While he dreamed of the him,he spoke out his name,His brain connected his sayings,his dreams,his hopes with his actions.His mind knew what the wants,what he hold but he can't fulfill his destiny.
Noxan quickly erased his name on the paper, he felt guilty,he knew it's just paper and his pen but it felt like as if he was earasing him out of his live with his hands,it was his oen but also his ink,his power.
Noxan didn't know if he should laugh or cry,he was happy cause he found love,but he was to obsessed.Noxans life felt worthless without his attention,without his presence,without his influence, without him.
The stars screamed at Noxan to hold on and shine,to cover the sky with himself,but he couldn't he was stuck in this mixture of wanting,needing and regretting.
He felt his skin burning,from questioning his onw body and feelings.
Noxan leaned back on his chair and spoke with red eyes asking for promotion
"Do I really love him,or the concept lf him.How i think he is,and how hr looks.Do I give him prettyprivilege or do i trulybelieve in him..."
Noxan finished his homeworks and went into the shower,as he touched the warm water it felt like a hug from him,he had no covers but he didn't see it sexual,he felt the comfort and near lf him.The soap gliding on his body like his gentles fingers exploring him, seeing him with nosecrets,the trust love is made of.His fire guiding me through the darkness, a warm and also highlytrusted place, opening my eyes and accepting myself.For now Noxan was not following the fire but burninginside it.His skin burned of abd reproduce itself the moment the nerves died.The shaom reminded him of his hair,so soft and easy to glide through, leaving all worry behind at least just for a moment.
Noxan felt had again,the disgustingtate of abuse filled his mouth
*I'm thinking so soft and romantic about him while beeing uncoveredevery inch of his body, I'm disgusting*
Noxan knew he didn't think of things like this because he was uncovered,he rather forgot it,now he believes this was his intention.
He dried of with a towel,rough but not hurting,like his muscles they can he soft forming a pillow on his chest for Noxan or hard like metal,not quit rough but enough to hurt.
He changed clothes, watching into a mirror making himself vomit because of how fat he saw himself.He didn't know how somebody should love this "punchingbag",this skin looking burned and not just touched by fire, the scars that tell how hard he struggles.He thought to himself
"My body isn't my body anymore, it's my story in the ugliest creatur.Nobody could love a battlefield"
Noxan opened his diary and wrote down how his showers remind him of Slyas.