We will fight. I swear. I will never betray my oath. Not until all of this is over. I always wanted peace. But now only the warning rings in my ears. This is war. They said it. I said it. She was the victim. I became the soldier for her sake. To protect her. To avenge her. They are her killers. They are evil. I take up arms. All of us do. We have no choice. We lost the right to make more choices then we started this. Once upon a time we were civilians. Her and me and him and them. Then everyone took up arms. And they asked us to fight. To chose a last time. He is theier leader. I'm our leader now. Or is it just me left? I can't say. I need to fight. Fight, fight, fight! Fight to the death! Only that they can we survive. But that's not what I wanted. Never wanted. A liar died today. Yesterday it was someone honest. I own it to them as well. That I fight. Continue fighting. No matter how hard it gets. I'm tired. But I won't give up. Someone screams. I whip around. Voices reach my ears. Someone tells me that it's all just in my head. But is it really? Everything feels so real. Way to real. I taste copper. Blood runs down over my eye. My sight spins. Everything is white. White and now blue and black and brown and something is wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, what is so wrong? My mind races."Fight!", a voice tells me. But against what? Who was I fighting against? Who was I fighting for? Why was I fighting? Everything is wrong and right and old and brand new and I can't stand it, please let me out, I scream. I lay in a bed. I think I do. How long have I been laying here? Where is here? I don't know. My mind can't form a real thought, focus is impossible. Again a voice reaches my ears. Someone prays. I can't understand everything, drifting in and out of consciousness. Only snippets."Jesus, our savior…I pray…Messiah…Save him…Bless us…peace for all…lead tho who are lost, guide them to you…" I stop paying attention. I'm too tired. Someone once said that there is a moment for everything. A moment to eat. A moment to sleep. A moment to sow the seeds. A moment to live. A moment to reap. A moment to die. Who was it? No, was it from the Bible? I can't remember. My mind is spiraling again. Working against me. Traitor. I want to focus. Next time the colors swirl I close my eyes. I feel like time has passed. I need to fight. I'm a soldier. The war is still raging. She was a victim. I need to avenge her. I own it to her. Again someone yells at me. I think they do. Say it's all a lie, it's all just in my head. That I need to see the truth. Truth sound good. I need to know the truth. How do I know it? How can I find out? Everything seemed brand new. From the last to the first. But I'm not sure. Wasn't it the other way around? I don't know. I'm tired. My hand is warm. Someone is holding it, I think. Wet droplets fall on it. Tears? Don't cry. It's alright. The voice asks me something. A promise I need to give her. I smile. The first smile in days..weeks?months? I don't know. But it doesn't matter. I promise it anyway. My voice is hoarse. I promise. I will hold on. Until the war is won. Our war. A small war. The war in my head. The war in her heart. I will hold on. I promise. The voice promises. We will fight.