Location: Stratosphere of Earth Prime (Altitude: 50,000 ft)
(Previously the Tournament Arena)
Goku's fist collided with Saitama's Serious Punch.
There was no sound. Sound needs air. And the air had just resigned from its job and fled to another galaxy.
For a brief microsecond, a ball of white light formed between their knuckles—a sphere of condensed energy so dense it began to suck in the nearby color spectrum.
Then, the BANG.
The impact sent a shockwave ripple across the planet's surface. Clouds were bisected globally. People in Z-City held onto lampposts while people in the Clover Kingdom (3,000 miles away) had their soup bowls rattle off tables.
Goku flew backward, spinning. His blue/red aura flickered.
"Haha! Awesome!" Goku shouted, wiping blood from his lip. "My hand actually went numb!"
Saitama stood—floating, technically, since he'd kicked the air hard enough to make a platform—rubbing his glove.
"It's weird," Saitama commented. "Your punch vibrates. It feels like getting hit by an electric massage chair set to 'Homicide'."
"It's God Ki!" Goku charged up. Kamehameha Stance.
"Ka..."
Space warped.
"Me..."
Blue light illuminated the dark sky.
"Ha..."
"Oh, a beam," Saitama noted. "Classic."
"ME... HA!"
A beam the size of a continent fired point-blank.
It wasn't just energy. It was 'Will'. It was fifty years of Shonen Jump history condensed into a screw-you laser.
Saitama didn't dodge.
"Serious Move: Serious Sneeze."
Saitama inhaled.
"Ah-Choo!"
The sneeze expelled wind pressure equivalent to a collapsing star.
It hit the Kamehameha beam head-on.
Physics: 404 Error.
The beam split. Half went into deep space, blowing up a random uninhabited moon. The other half curved around the sneeze and evaporated the upper atmosphere.
Goku was blown back by the snot-shockwave.
"Gross!" Goku laughed, tumbling through orbit. "But strong!"
They crashed onto the moon. Not Earth's moon (that was gone). A captured moon from another dimension (Naruto's moon, specifically).
Toneri Otsutsuki (The Moon Guy from Naruto: The Last) woke up in his palace.
"Finally," Toneri mumbled. "Peace and quie—"
CRASH.
Saitama landed in Toneri's garden, flattening a flower bed.
Goku landed on Toneri's roof, crushing the observatory.
"Sorry!" Goku waved. "Using your moon for a sec!"
Saitama looked at Toneri. "Do you have gravity here? It feels floaty."
Toneri stared. "Get... off... my... LAWN!"
Toneri activated Tenseigan Mode. Green chakra flared. He summoned a giant golem.
"Golden Wheel Reincarnation Explosion!" A sword of light extended miles long. It aimed to cut the moon in half to kill the intruders.
"He's interfering," Goku said.
"Annoying," Saitama agreed.
Saitama jumped.
Goku Instant Transmitted.
Goku appeared behind Toneri, karate chopping his neck. Bonk.
Saitama punched the giant golem. It shattered into pebbles.
Toneri was KO'd before he could finish his monologue.
"Nap time," Saitama dusted his hands. "Now, where were we?"
"Round 2!" Goku grinned. His hair changed. Silver.
Heat rolled off him. His movements became watery. Automatic.
Ultra Instinct.
Saitama's eyes narrowed.
The boredom in his chest shifted slightly. Just a millimeter.
"He got quieter," Saitama realized. "And... faster."
Saitama moved to block.
Goku's fist was already past his guard, tapping his forehead.
Flick.
Saitama skidded back ten miles, digging a trench in the lunar dust.
He touched his forehead. A red mark.
Saitama smiled.
It was a terrifying smile. Not a hero smile. The smile of a predator finding prey that finally bites back.
"Okay," Saitama said. "Let's go."
Meanwhile: Earth Prime - The Arena
While the gods fought in space, the mortals were dealing with the aftermath.
The arena was destroyed.
Vegeta was standing amidst the rubble, looking up at the sky where the sonic booms were still echoing.
"Kakarot..." Vegeta clenched his fist. "He reached it again."
"Impressive data," a mechanical voice noted.
Genos landed next to Vegeta. His core was glowing orange. He had also been watching.
"Master Saitama has not engaged his 'Serious Punch Squared' yet. The probability of the moon surviving is 12%."
Vegeta looked at the cyborg.
"You. Tin Man. You are his disciple?"
"I am Genos. Class S. Demon Cyborg."
"Hmph." Vegeta smirked. "A machine trying to learn limitless strength? How futile. Can a calculator learn to feel Pride?"
"I do not need Pride," Genos extended his arm. "I possess upgrade modules."
He targeted Vegeta.
Incineration Cannon: Spiral Mode.
Vegeta didn't flinch. He extended one hand.
Big Bang Attack.
BOOM.
Ki met plasma. The blast knocked spectators (like Mineta) into the next timezone.
"Pathetic output!" Vegeta roared, pushing the blast back. "Is that all technology offers?!"
"Not at all," Genos's chest plates opened.
Core Overdrive: 10 Seconds.
"Jet Drive Arrow!"
Genos propelled himself with a kick. His leg became a blade of blue fire.
He slammed into Vegeta's guard. The sheer kinetic force dragged the Saiyan prince backward.
"Cheeky toaster!" Vegeta flared SSJ2. "Get off me!"
He grabbed Genos's leg, spun him around, and threw him into a wall.
Genos recovered mid-air, thrusters firing.
"Analysis: Opponent is stubborn. Switching to CQC."
In the Shadows of the Rubble
While everyone watched the fights, Kazuma was crawling through the destroyed vendor stalls.
Objective: Find loot dropped by fleeing civilians.
"Come on," Kazuma whispered. "Wallets... Magic Items... Unattended french fries..."
He found something.
A strange, black notebook lying in the dust.
DEATH NOTE.
"Ooh!" Kazuma picked it up. "An edgelord diary?"
He opened it.
Rules: The human whose name is written in this note shall die.
"Whoa." Kazuma froze. "This is an Artifact level item! With this... I could erase the Demon King! Or my debt collectors!"
"Excuse me."
A voice purred behind him.
Kazuma turned slowly.
Standing there was Ryuk, the Shinigami. And next to him... Light Yagami.
But not just Light.
This Light had glowing red eyes and wings made of ink.
The Corrupted Kira.
"That belongs to me," Light smiled. It wasn't a nice smile.
"S-Steal!" Kazuma shouted instinctively.
He stole... an apple.
Ryuk flew down and ate the apple from Kazuma's hand.
"Juicy," Ryuk chuckled.
Light raised a hand. "I need that notebook back. My ink powers are limited. I need the old-fashioned method for a specific target."
"Who?" Kazuma backed away, clutching the book.
"Goku," Light adjusted his tie. "Physical gods are troublesome. Heart attacks are efficient."
"No way!" Kazuma might be a scumbag, but he wasn't a traitor (usually). "Goku-san is fighting the bald guy! It's the hypest moment in history! I won't let you interrupt it with a cheap plot device!"
"Noble," Light sneered. "Writer... Delete him."
The Ink around Light formed a giant eraser.
"Create Water!"
A blast of high-pressure water hit Light.
Aqua stood atop a pile of rubble.
"Don't bully my NEETh! That's my job!"
"Sacred Turn Undead!" Aqua glowed rainbow.
Light screeched. "I'm not undead! I'm a Complex Villain!"
"You smell rotting!" Aqua clarified. "Purification!"
The light hit Ryuk.
"Ack!" Ryuk flew away. "I'm allergic to sparkles!"
Light, annoyed, swiped his hand.
"You insects are delaying the inevitable."
Suddenly, a massive shadow covered them.
Anos Voldigoad walked out of a portal. He was holding a skewer of takoyaki.
"Playing with notebooks?" Anos asked Light. "How quaint."
Light glared. "Demon King Anos. Your name is already written. Why aren't you dead?"
Anos took a bite of takoyaki.
"I told you before. Did you think killing me would make me die?"
Anos snapped his fingers.
The Death Note in Kazuma's hand turned into a comic book.
(Weekly Shonen Jump, Issue #45).
"I rewrote the object's history," Anos explained. "It is now a gag manga. Far more entertaining."
Light stared at the comic book.
"This... logic... I hate this universe!" Light melted into a puddle of ink and fled.
Kazuma looked at Anos. "You saved me?"
"No," Anos said, tossing the skewer stick. "You were blocking my view of the fight on the moon. Move."
Back on the Moon
The moon was barely a crescent now.
Most of it was dust floating in orbit.
Goku (Ultra Instinct Mastered) hovered, breathing hard. His silver hair was flowing in the cosmic wind (don't ask why there's wind).
Saitama stood opposite. His tracksuit was tattered. His cape was gone.
And... he was serious.
Really serious.
There was a small scratch on his cheek. And his uniform was burnt.
"You're strong," Saitama said.
It was the first time he had said it without sarcasm.
"I can actually feel my heart beating. It's... nice."
"Saitama," Goku smiled weakly. "I'm at my limit. My body is breaking apart holding this form."
"Then finish it," Saitama clenched his fist.
"Serious Series: Omnidirectional Serious Punch."
"MUI: Supreme Kamehameha."
They rushed.
One final clash.
The moment they collided...
[SYSTEM ALERT]
[SERVER CRASH IMMINENT]
[TOO MUCH AWESOME DETECTED]
White screen.
...
...
Location: ???
Time: ???
Kazuma opened his eyes.
He was floating in a blue void. Windows XP background? No. A digital waiting room.
Sitting next to him were Goku, Saitama, Naruto, Luffy, and Ichigo.
All looking confused.
A giant admin window popped up.
A figure appeared.
It wasn't a god. Or a demon.
It was a salaryman in a suit, sweating profusely.
The Webnovel Admin.
"Okay," The Admin wiped his forehead. "You guys broke it. You broke the website. We ran out of bandwidth rendering the moon explosion."
"Did I win?" Goku asked.
"No one won!" The Admin yelled. "The file corrupted! We have to do a System Restore!"
"Restore to where?" Saitama asked.
"To the Isekai Lobby," The Admin sighed. "We are rebooting the Genre."
Click.
The heroes vanished.
End of Phase 2: The New Normal Arc
(Author Note: The story isn't over. But the Tournament Arc broke the simulation.)
PHASE 3: THE REBOOT PROTOCOL
Kazuma woke up.
He was in a tavern.
Wooden tables. Serving girls with ears.
The smell of cheap ale.
"I'm back?" Kazuma looked around. "Axel?"
"Kazuma!" Aqua was chugging a beer next to him. "We're back!"
But then...
Asta walked out of the kitchen carrying a tray.
"ORDER UP! BAKASTA SPECIAL!"
Tanjiro was cleaning the floor.
"I smell spilled grog!"
Saitama was sitting at the bar, staring at a menu.
"One yen ale... finally."
The universes hadn't separated.
They had just been... dowgraded to a Slice of Life setting to save budget.
The "Daily Life of Multiversal Legends" Arc begins.
"Welcome to Isekai Quartet: The 18+ Extended Cut," The Narrator whispered.
Kazuma put his head on the table.
"At least there's no fighting."
Outside the window, a Titan (Attack on Titan) peeked over the city wall. It was wearing a delivery hat.
"Pizza for... Mikasa?" The Titan rumbled.
Kazuma screamed.