Location: West City - Capsule Corporation HQ
Current Timeline: The Golden Age (Day 3)
"I'm telling you, it's not a scam! It's a biological enhancement supplement!"
Kazuma Satou stood behind a folding table set up on the lawn of Capsule Corp. He wore sunglasses and a lab coat he stole from a closet.
On the table were dozens of small vials filled with glowing golden fluid.
The sign read: "SUPERSAIYAN ENERGY™: $5,000 PER SHOT. (No refunds if you explode)."
"This contains 1% genuine Prince of Saiyans sweat, harvested from the gravity chamber floor," Kazuma pitched to the line of civilians. "Drink this, and you won't just get stronger. You'll develop an urge to cross your arms and scream your feelings at clouds!"
A customer (Mineta from MHA) held up a wad of cash. "Will it make me popular?"
"Kid," Kazuma leaned in. "It'll make you glow gold. Girls love shiny objects."
"Sold!"
Just as the exchange was about to happen, a shadow fell over the table.
Kazuma felt the air pressure drop. He recognized this feeling. It wasn't just danger; it was ROYAL danger.
"So," a voice grated like tectonic plates grinding. "You are selling... my bodily fluids?"
Kazuma froze. He slowly turned around.
Vegeta stood there. He was wearing a pink "Badman" shirt. His vein was throbbing so hard it had its own pulse.
"Wait, Vegeta-san," Kazuma held up a hand. "I can explain. This is capitalism! I'm creating a passive income stream so I don't have to mooch off Bulma-san!"
Vegeta looked at the vials. He looked at Kazuma.
"And," Vegeta pointed a gloved finger. "Where did you get that sample?"
"Oh, I scraped it off the training mats after you and Kakarot destroyed the gym yesterday."
Vegeta raised his hand. Big Bang Attack charging.
"MY PRIDE IS NOT A COMMODITY FOR THE STOCK MARKET!"
"Steal!" Kazuma panicked.
He aimed for the ki blast. Instead, he stole Vegeta's pink shirt.
Vegeta stood there, shirtless, holding a ball of destruction. The wind blew. Mineta fainted.
"You," Vegeta whispered, turning Super Saiyan God just out of sheer embarrassment. "You die first."
"HELP! DISCRIMINATION AGAINST ENTREPRENEURS!" Kazuma fled, sprinting at Mach speeds powered purely by cowardice, with a violet death-beam chasing him off the property.
Location: The Shared Training Grounds
(Formerly U.A. Gym Gamma + Magic Knights Training Area)
The ground shook rhythmically. THUD. THUD. THUD.
A crowd had gathered. Midoriya, Iida, and Genos were taking notes.
In the center of the cratered gym, three men were lifting.
But they weren't lifting weights.
They were lifting parts of the Dimensional Train (from Demon Slayer's Mugen Train Arc).
Competitor 1: Asta.
He was in Devil Union mode. Anti-magic swirled as he bench-pressed a locomotive engine.
"YYYYEEEEEAAAAH! MUSCLES NEVER BETRAY YOU!"
Competitor 2: Roronoa Zoro.
He wasn't using his hands. He was doing neck curls, holding the train's wheel axle in his mouth.
"Mmph... mmmph... (Translation: Needs more weight)."
Competitor 3: Mash Burnedead.
He was squatting the passenger carriage. While reading a magazine.
"Incredible," Iida pushed his glasses up. "Their form is... completely disastrous for the human spine, yet they aren't breaking. Is this the power of Other World Physics?"
"Scanning," Genos whirred. "Zoro's neck muscles have a density of reinforced titanium. Asta's screams increase his output by 20%. Mash... Mash has no magic data, but his glutes are generating gravitational fields."
Asta slammed the engine down.
"NEXT ROUND! ONE-FINGER PUSHUPS!"
"Hold on," Zoro dropped the axle. He looked around, sweating. "Where's the water cooler?"
"It's over there, Zoro-san," Midoriya pointed North.
Zoro nodded confidently. He turned South and walked straight into a wall. Then he drew Enma and cut the wall down.
"Found a shortcut."
"HE'S HOPELESS!" Uraraka cried from the sidelines.
Suddenly, a massive shadow eclipsed the gym lights.
A man with scars on his face, wearing a tank top.
Tanktop Master (S-Class Hero).
Next to him stood Superalloy Darkshine.
"Did someone say... muscle?" Tanktop Master tightened his grip. "We accept the challenge. The Tanktop connects all universes."
"Let's make this interesting," Mash said, putting down his magazine. "If I win... I get your protein powder."
"And if we win?" Darkshine flexed, his skin glistening like diamonds. "You have to wear a Tanktop."
Asta gasped. "High stakes!"
Zoro drew his swords. "I'll cut the tanktop."
The Great Muscle Exchange began. It involved no fighting, only flexing so hard that the air pressure shattered the windows of U.A. High, causing Aizawa to suspend everyone for a week.
Location: The New Central Guild Hall
("Grand Neo-Tokyo")
In the center of Earth Prime, a new organization had formed to manage the chaos.
The Multiversal Adventurers Guild.
It was a nightmare of bureaucracy.
Lines stretched out the door.
Characters from 20 different franchises were arguing in the lobby.
At the Reception Desk, Eina Tulle (from DanMachi) was hyperventilating.
"Next please!" Eina shrieked.
A slime slithered up to the desk. Rimuru Tempest.
"Hi! I'd like to register the Jura Tempest Federation as a sovereign nation-state slash Guild alliance."
"Form 8-B," Eina slammed a stack of paper down. "Fill out the diplomatic immunity clause."
"Okay," Rimuru transformed into human form. "Can I pay fees in honey?"
"Gold or Eris only!"
Rimuru sighed and walked off.
"Next!"
Aqua slapped her hands on the desk. "I want to file a complaint against Kazuma! He tried to sell my holy water as 'Goddess Bathwater'!"
"This is the Registration desk, ma'am, complaints are on the 5th floor."
"But the elevator ate my sash!"
"That's because the elevator is a Mimic! Read the signs!"
Eina put her head in her hands. I miss Bell. Bell was easy.
Suddenly, the guild doors kicked open.
"YO! WHERE'S THE S-CLASS QUESTS?!"
Natsu Dragneel (Fairy Tail) marched in, fists burning with fire. Happy flew beside him.
"Aye! We need fish money!"
"No fire indoors!" A stiff, authoritative voice barked.
Genryūsai Shigekuni Yamamoto (Captain Commander of Gotei 13) stepped out of the crowd. He tapped his cane. The air temperature rose 50 degrees. "Insolent boy. Respect the rules."
Natsu looked at the old man. He sniffed the air.
"Grandpa... you smell like fire. Really strong fire."
Natsu grinned. "FIGHT ME!"
"Fire Dragon's Iron Fist!"
Natsu lunged.
Yamamoto didn't even draw his sword. He just opened his eyes slightly.
Spirit Pressure.
Natsu was face-planted into the floor tiles by gravity alone.
"Gah! Heavy!"
"The youngster has spirit," Yamamoto grunted. "But lacks discipline."
[SYSTEM ALERT]
[EMERGENCY QUEST ISSUED]
The massive screen in the guild hall flickered red.
Every adventurer stopped talking.
[QUEST: THE DUNGEON OF GLUTTONY]
[LOCATION: MERGED CITY Z / TORIKO'S GOURMET WORLD]
[OBJECTIVE: Investigate the massive loss of food supplies.]
[THREAT: "Something is eating the Biosphere."]
"Food supplies?"
Luffy, Goku, and Toriko (who was chewing on a giant bone in the corner) stood up simultaneously.
"IT'S A CRISIS!" Goku shouted. "If the bacon is gone, what's the point of peace?!"
"I'll handle this!"
A confident voice rang out from the VIP balcony.
A man in a sleek black cloak.
Kirito. (Dual Swords ready).
"My team has analyzed the patterns," Kirito said, glancing at Asuna. "We believe a localized gluttony anomaly—possibly a Void remnant—is hoarding resources. The 'Beater' Squad is moving out."
"Wait, Swordsman," Anos Voldigoad floated up to the balcony level, holding a goblet of wine. "Hoarding resources? That sounds like theft. In my era, theft was punished by deletion."
"We can work together," Kirito offered.
"Work together?" Anos smiled. "I'll simply walk ahead. Try to keep up."
Scene: The Party Formation
(The 'Food Defense Force')
Outside the guild, a ragtag team assembled for the food quest.
1. Goku (Motivation: Hunger)
2. Toriko (Motivation: Gourmet Ingredients)
3. Sasha Braus (Attack on Titan - Motivation: Meat)
4. Choji Akimichi (Naruto - Motivation: Chips)
5. Pig God (One Punch Man - Motivation: Duty/Calories)
And leading them... somehow...
Kazuma Satou.
"Why am I leading this?!" Kazuma yelled. He was currently wearing Vegeta's stolen pink 'Badman' shirt because his tracksuit was destroyed. "I have the lowest stats here!"
"You have the highest Luck," Bulma explained via communicator earpiece. "If anyone can find food in a wasteland, it's you. Also, you owe me 5 million Zeni for emotional damages to my husband."
"Fine!" Kazuma pointed forward. "Operation Buffet is a go! If you see something edible, kill it! If it tries to kill you, I'll steal its wallet and run!"
The Destination: The Gourmet Forest
The team arrived.
It was a forest made of desserts.
Trees dripped chocolate. The rocks were marshmallows.
"HEAVEN!" Goku and Toriko drooled.
They charged.
They bit into a chocolate tree.
CRUNCH.
"OW!" Goku held his jaw. "It's... hard!"
"It's fake," Toriko spat out a chunk. "It's plastic. Transmuted matter."
"Someone turned the food into inedible decor," Sasha Braus whispered, looking horrified. "This is evil. True evil."
Suddenly, the marshmallow rocks began to move.
They melted. They formed shapes.
White, gooey shapes with smiley faces.
Majin Buu Clones?
No.
They were Pillsbury Doughboys.
But possessed by Full Metal Alchemist alchemy failures.
"Eat... me..." The Doughboys gurgled in chimera voices.
"What is this dimension?!" Kazuma shrieked.
From the top of a lollipop mountain, a villain laughed.
A fat man. Steampunk gear. Surrounded by robot minions.
Dr. Eggman.
Fused with Caesar Clown (One Piece).
"OH HOHO!" Eggman-Caesar laughed. "Welcome to my synthesis lab! I am turning all organic matter into plastic explosives! I call it... THE DIABETIC DOOM!"
"You monster!" Goku powered up to Super Saiyan immediately. "You ruined the chocolate!"
"This isn't about hunger anymore," Toriko's left arm mutated into the Red Oni. "It's about the sanctity of supper."
Kazuma hid behind a candy cane.
"Why does every grocery run turn into a boss battle?!"
To Be Continued.
(Coming up: The Food Wars escalate. Sanji and Soma Yukihira have a cook-off to purify the corrupted ingredients. The Guild gets its first S-Class Threat Rating.)